Internet Shakespeare Editions

Author: William Shakespeare
Editors: Andrew Griffin, Helen Ostovich
Not Peer Reviewed

All's Well That Ends Well (Folio 1, 1623)


All's Well, that Ends Well
239
Laf I with all my heart, and thou art worthy of it.
1125Par I haue not my Lord deseru'd it.
Laf Yes good faith, eu'ry dramme of it, and I will
not bate thee a scruple.
Par Well, I shall be wiser.
Laf Eu'n as soone as thou can'st, for thou hast to pull
1130at a smacke a'th contrarie. If euer thou bee'st bound
in thy skarfe and beaten, thou shall finde what it is to be
proud of thy bondage, I haue a desire to holde my ac-
quaintance with thee, or rather my knowledge, that I
may say in the default, he is a man I know.
1135Par My Lord you do me most insupportable vexati-
on.
Laf I would it were hell paines for thy sake, and my
poore doing eternall: for doing I am past, as I will by
thee, in what motion age will giue me leaue.
Exit
1140Par Well, thou hast a sonne shall take this disgrace
off me; scuruy, old, filthy, scuruy Lord: Well, I must
be patient, there is no fettering of authority. Ile beate
him (by my life) if I can meete him with any conueni-
ence, and he were double and double a Lord. Ile haue
1145no more pittie of his age then I would haue of------ Ile
beate him, and if I could but meet him agen.

Enter Lafew

Laf Sirra, your Lord and masters married, there's
newes for you: you haue a new Mistris.
1150Par I most vnfainedly beseech your Lordshippe to
make some reseruation of your wrongs. He is my good
Lord, whom I serue aboue is my master.
Laf Who? God.
Par I sir.
1155Laf The deuill it is, that's thy master. Why dooest
thou garter vp thy armes a this fashion? Dost make hose
of thy sleeues? Do other seruants so? Thou wert best set
thy lower part where thy nose stands. By mine Honor,
if I were but two houres yonger, I'de beate thee: mee-
1160think'st thou art a generall offence, and euery man shold
beate thee: I thinke thou wast created for men to breath
themselues vpon thee.
Par This is hard and vndeserued measure my Lord.
Laf Go too sir, you were beaten in Italyfor picking
1165a kernell out of a Pomgranat, you are a vagabond, and
no true traueller: you are more sawcie with Lordes and
honourable personages, then the Commission of your
birth and vertue giues you Hera ldry. You are not worth
another word, else I'de call you knaue. I leaue you.
1170
Exit
Enter Count Rossillion

Par Good, very good, it is so then: good, very
good, let it be conceal'd awhile.
Ros Vndone, and forfeited to cares for euer.
1175Par What's the matter sweet-heart?
Rossill Although before the solemne Priest I haue
sworne, I will not bed her.
Par What? what sweet heart?
Ros O my Parrolles they haue married me:
1180Ile to the Tuscanwarres, and neuer bed her.
Par Franceis a dog-hole, and it no more merits,
The tread of a mans foot: too'th warres.
Ros There's letters from my mother: What th' im-
port is, I know not yet.
1185Par I that would be knowne: too'th warrs my boy,
too'th warres:
He weares his honor in a boxe vnseene,
That hugges his kickie wickie heare at home,
Spending his manlie marrow in her armes
1190Which should sustaine the bound and high curuet
Of Marsesfierie steed: to other Regions,
Franceis a stable, wee that dwell in't Iades,
Therefore too'th warre.
Ros It shall be so, Ile send her to my house,
1195Acquaint my mother with my hate to her,
And wherefore I am fled: Write to the King
That which I durst not speake. His present gift
Shall furnish me to those Italian fields
Where noble fellowes strike: Warres is no strife
1200To the darke house, and the detected wife.
Par Will this Caprichio hold in thee, art sure?
Ros Go with me to my chamber, and aduice me.
Ile send her straight away: To morrow,
Ile to the warres, she to her single sorrow.
1205Par Why these bals bound, ther's noise in it. Tis hard
A yong man maried, is a man that's mard:
Therefore away, and leaue her brauely: go,
The King ha's done you wrong: but hush 'tis so.
Exit

Enter Helena and Clowne

1210Hel My mother greets me kindly, is she well?
Clo She is not well, but yet she has her health, she's
very merrie, but yet she is not well: but thankes be gi-
uen she's very well, and wants nothing i'th world: but
yet she is not well.
1215Hel If she be verie wel, what do's she ayle, that she's
not verie well?
Clo Truly she's very well indeed, but for two things
Hel What two things?
Clo One, that she's not in heauen, whether God send
1220her quickly: the other, that she's in earth, from whence
God send her quickly.

Enter Parolles
Par Blesse you my fortunate Ladie.
Hel I hope sir I haue your good will to haue mine
1225owne good fortune.
Par You had my prayers to leade them on, and to
keepe them on, haue them still. O my knaue, how do's
my old Ladie?
Clo So that you had her wrinkles, and I her money,
1230I would she did as you say.
Par Why I say nothing.
Clo Marry you are the wiser man: for many a mans
tongue shakes out his masters vndoing: to say nothing,
to do nothing, to know nothing, and to haue nothing,
1235is to be a great part of your title, which is within a verie
little of nothing.
Par Away, th'art a knaue.
Clo You should haue said sir before a knaue, th'art a
knaue, that's before me th'art a knaue: this had beene
1240truth sir.
Par Go too, thou art a wittie foole, I haue found
thee.
Clo Did you finde me in your selfe sir, or were you
taught to finde me?
1245Clo The search sir was profitable, and much Foole
may you find in you, euen to the worlds pleasure, and the
encrease of laughter.
Par A good knaue ifaith, and well fed.
Madam, my Lord will go awaie to night,
A
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All's Well that Ends Well