Internet Shakespeare Editions

Author: William Shakespeare
Editor: Rosemary Gaby
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Henry IV, Part 2 (Quarto 1, 1598).


The
Second part of Henrie
the fourth, continuing to his death,
and coronation of Henrie
the fift.
With the humours of sir Iohn Fal-
staffe, and swaggering
Pistoll.
As it hath been sundrie times publikely
acted by the right honourable, the Lord
Chamberlaine his servants.
Written by William Shakespeare.
LONDON
Printed by V.S. for Andrew Wise, and
William Aspley.
1600.
The second part of Henry the fourth,
continuing to his death, and coro-
nation of Henry the
fift.
Enter Rumour painted full of Tongues.
Pen your eares; for which of you will stop
5The vent of hearing, when lowd Rumor speaks?
I from the Orient to the drooping West,
(Making the wind my poste-horse) still vnfold
The acts commenced on this ball of earth,
Vpon my tongues continuall slanders ride,
10The which in euery language I pronounce,
Stuffing the eares of men with false reports,
I speake of peace while couert enmity,
Vnder the smile of safety, woundes the world:
And who but Rumor, who but onely I,
15Make fearefull musters, and prepar'd defence,
Whiles the bigge yeare, swolne with some other griefe,
Is thought with child by the sterne tyrant Warre?
And no such matter. Rumour is a pipe,
Blowne by surmizes, Iealousies coniectures,
20And of so easie, and so plaine a stop,
That the blunt monster, with vncounted heads,
The still discordant wau'ring multitude,
Can play vpon it. But what need I thus
(My wel knowne body) to anothomize
25Among my houshold? why is Rumor here?
I runne before King Harries victorie,
Who in a bloudy field by Shrewsbury,
Hath beaten downe yong Hot-spurre and his troopes,
Quenching the flame of bold rebellion,
30Euen with the rebels bloud. But what meane I
To speake so true at first? my office is
To noyse abroad, that Harry Monmouth fell
Vnder the wrath of noble Hot-spurs sword,
And that the King before the Douglas rage,
35Stoopt his annointed head as low as death.
This haue I rumour'd through the peasant townes,
Betweene that royall field of Shrewsbury,
And this worme-eaten hole of ragged stone,
When Hot-spurs father old Northumberland
40Lies crafty sicke, the postes come tyring on,
And not a man of them brings other newes,
Than they haue learnt of me, from Rumors tongues,
They bring smooth comforts false, worse then true wrongs.
exit Rumours.
Enter the Lord Bardolfe at one doore.
Bard. Who keepes the gate here ho? where is the Earle?
Porter What shall I say you are?
50Bard. Tell thou the Earle,
That the Lord Bardolfe doth attend him heere.
Porter His Lordship is walkt forth into the orchard,
Please it your honor knocke but at the gate,
And he himselfe will answer.
Enter the Earle Northumberland.
Bard. Here comes the Earle.
Earle. What newes Lord Bardolfe? euery minute now
Should be the father of some Stratagem,
The times are wild, contention like a horse,
60Full of high feeding, madly hath broke loose,
And beares downe all before him.
Bard. Noble Earle,
I bring you certaine newes from Shrewsbury.
Earle Good, and God will.
65Bard. As good as heart can wish:
The King is almost wounded to the death,
And in the fortune of my Lord your sonne,
Prince Harry slaine outright, and both the Blunts
Kild by the hand of Dowglas, yong prince Iohn,
70And Westmerland and Stafford fled the field,
And Harry Monmouthes brawne, the hulke sir Iohn,
Is prisoner to your sonne: O such a day!
So fought, so followed, and so fairely wonne,
Came not till now to dignifie the times
75Since Cæsars fortunes.
Earle How is this deriu'd?
Saw you the field? came you from Shrewsbury?
Bar. I spake with one, my lord, that came from thence,
enter
A gentleman well bred, and of good name,
80That freely rendred me these newes for true.
Earle Here comes my seruant Trauers who I sent
On tuesday last to listen after newes.
Bar. My lord, I ouer-rode him on the way,
85And he is furnisht with no certainties,
More then he haply may retale from me.
Earle Now Trauers, what good tidings comes with you?
Trauers My lord, sir Iohn Vmfreuile turnd me backe
With ioyfull tidings, and being better horst,
90Out rode me, after him came spurring hard,
A gentleman almost forespent with speede,
That stopt by me to breathe his bloudied horse,
He askt the way to Chester, and of him
I did demand what newes from Shrewsbury,
95He told me that rebellion had bad lucke,
And that yong Harrie Percies spur was cold:
With that he gaue his able horse the head,
And bending forward, strooke his armed heeles,
Against the panting sides of his poore iade,
100Vp to the rowell head, and starting so,
He seem'd in running to deuoure the way,
Staying no longer question.
Earle Ha? againe,
Said he, yong Harry Percies spur was cold,
105Of Hot-spurre, Cold-spurre, that rebellion
Had met ill lucke?
Bard. My lord, Ile tell you what,
If my yong Lord your sonne, haue not the day,
Vpon mine honor for a silken point,
110Ile giue my Barony, neuer talke of it.
Earle Why should that gentleman that rode by Trauers,
Giue then such instances of losse?
Bard. Who he?
He was some hilding fellow that had stolne
115The horse he rode on, and vpon my life
Spoke at a venter. Looke, here comes more news.
enter Mor-
Earle Yea this mans brow, like to a title leafe,
Foretells the nature of a tragicke volume,
120So lookes the strond, whereon the imperious floud,
Hath left a witnest vsurpation.
Say Mourton, didst thou come from Shrewsbury?
Mour. I ranne from Shrewsbury my noble lord,
Where hatefull death put on his vgliest maske,
125To fright our partie.
Earle How doth my sonne and brother?
Thou tremblest, and the whitenes in thy cheeke,
Is apter then thy tongue to tell thy arrand,
Euen such a man, so faint, so spirritlesse,
130So dull, so dead in looke, so woe begon,
Drew Priams curtaine in the dead of night,
And would haue told him, halfe his Troy was burnt:
But Priam found the fier, ere he, his tongue,
And I, my Percies death, ere thou reportst it.
135This thou wouldst say, Your son did thus and thus,
Your brother thus: so fought the noble Dowglas,
Stopping my greedy eare with their bold deedes,
But in the end, to stop my eare indeed,
Thou hast a sigh to blow away this praise,
140Ending with brother, sonne, and all are dead.
Mour. Douglas is liuing, and your brother yet,
But for my Lord your sonne:
Earle Why he is dead?
See what a ready tongue Suspition hath!
145He that but feares the thing hee would not know,
Hath by instinct, knowledge from others eies,
That what he feard is chanced: yet speake Mourton,
Tell thou an Earle, his diuination lies,
And I will take it as a sweete disgrace,
150And make thee rich for doing me such wrong.
Mour. You are too great to be by me gainsaid,
Your spirite is too true, your feares too certaine.
Earle Yet for all this, say not that Percie's dead,
I see a strange confession in thine eie,
155Thou shakst thy head, and holdst it feare, or sinne,
To speake a truth: if he be slaine,
The tongne offends not that reports his death,
And he doth sinne that doth belie the dead,
Not he which saies the dead is not aliue,
160Yet the first bringer of vnwelcome newes
Hath but a loosing office, and his tongue
Sounds euer after as a sullen bell,
Remembred tolling a departing friend.
Bard. I cannot thinke, my Lord, your sonne is dead.
165Mour. I am sory I should force you to beleeue,
That which I would to God I had not seene,
But these mine eies saw him in bloudy state,
Rendring faint quittance, wearied, and out-breathd,
To Harry Monmouth, whose swift wrath beat downe
170The neuer daunted Percy to the earth,
From whence with life he neuer more sprung vp.
In few his death, whose spirite lent a fire,
Euen to the dullest peasant in his campe,
Being bruted once, tooke fire and heate away,
175From the best temperd courage in his troopes,
For from his mettal was his party steeled,
Which once in him abated, al the rest
Turnd on themselues, like dull and heauy lead.
And as the thing thats heauy in it selfe,
180Vpon enforcement flies with greatest speed:
So did our men, heauy in Hot-spurs losse,
Lend to this weight such lightnesse with their feare,
That arrowes fled not swifter toward their ayme,
Than did our souldiers aiming at their safetie,
185Fly from the field: then was that noble Worcester,
So soone tane prisoner, and that furious Scot,
The bloudy Douglas whose well labouring sword,
Had three times slaine th'appearance of the King,
Gan vaile his stomacke, and did grace the shame
190Of those that turnd their backes, and in his flight,
Stumbling in feare, was tooke: the summe of all
Is, that the King hath wonne, and hath sent out,
A speedy power to incounter you my lord,
Vnder the conduct of yong Lancaster,
195And Westmerland: this is the news at ful.
Earle For this I shal haue time enough to mourne,
In poison there is phisicke, and these newes,
Hauing beene wel, that would haue made me sicke:
Being sicke, haue (in some measure) made me wel:
200And as the wretch whose feuer-weakned ioynts,
Like strengthlesse hinges buckle vnder life,
Impacient of his fit, breakes like a fire
Out of his keepers armes; euen so my limbes,
Weakened with griefe being now enragde with griefe,
205Are thrice themselues: hence therfore thou nice crutch,
A scaly gauntlet now with ioynts of steele
Must gloue this hand, and hence thou sickly coife,
Thou art a guard too wanton for the head,
Which princes, flesht with conquest, ayme to hit:
210Now bind my browes with yron, and approach
The raggedst houre that Time and Spight dare bring,
To frowne vpon th'inragde Northumberland,
Let heauen kisse earth, now let not Natures hand
Keepe the wild floud confind, let Order die,
215And let this world no longer be a stage,
To feed contention in a lingring act:
But let one spirite of the first borne Cain
Raigne in all bosomes, that ech heart being set
On bloudy courses, the rude sceane may end,
220And darknesse be the burier of the dead.
220.1Vmfr. This strained passion doth you wrong my lord.
Bard. Sweet earle, diuorce not wisedom from your honor,
Mour. The liues of all your louing complices,
Leaue on you health, the which if you giue ore,
To stormy passion must perforce decay.
Bard. We all that are ingaged to this losse,
240Knew that we ventured on such dangerous seas,
That if we wrought out life, twas ten to one,
And yet we venturd for the gaine proposde,
Choakt the respect of likely perill fear'd,
And since we are oreset, venture againe:
245Come, we will al put forth body and goods.
Mour. Tis more then time, and my most noble lord,
I heare for certaine, and dare speake the truth.
North. I knew of this before, but to speake truth,
270This present griefe had wipte it from my mind,
Go in with me and counsell euery man,
The aptest way for safety and reuenge,
Get postes and letters, and make friends with speed,
Neuer so few, and neuer yet more need.
exeunt.
Enter sir Iohn alone, with his page bearing his sword
276.1
and buckler.
Iohn Sirra, you giant, what saies the doctor to my water?
Page He said sir, the water it self was a good healthy water,
but for the party that owed it, he might haue moe diseases then
280he knew for.
Iohn Men of al sorts take a pride to gird at me: the braine
of this foolish compoūnded clay-man is not able to inuent any
thing that intends to laughter, more then I inuent, or is inuēnted
on me, I am not only witty in my selfe, but the cause that wit is
285in other men. I do here walk before thee, like a sow that hath
ouerwhelmd al her litter but one, if the prince put thee into my
seruice for any other reason then to sett me off, why then I
haue no iudgement thou horeson mandrake, thou art fitter to
290be worne in my cap, then to wait at my heels I was neuer man-
ned with an agot till now, but I wil in-set you, neither in golde
nor siluer, but in vile apparell, and send you backe againe to
your master for a iewell, the iuuenall the prince your master,
whose chin is not yet fledge, I will sooner haue a beard grow
295in the palme of my hand, then he shal get one off his cheek, &
yet he will not sticke to say his face is a face royal, God may fi-
nish it when he will, tis not a haire amisse yet, he may keepe it
still at a face royall, for a barber shall neuer earne sixpence out
300of it, and yet heele be crowing as if he had writte man euer
since his father was a batcheler, he may keepe his owne grace,
but hees almost out of mine I can assure him: what said master
Dommelton about the sattin for my short cloake and my
sloppes?
305Boy He saide sir, you should procure him better assurance
then Bardolfe, he would not take his band and yours, he liked
not the securitie.
sir Iohn Let him be damn'd like the glutton, pray God his
tongue be hotter, a horeson Achitophel! a rascall: yea forsooth
310knaue, to beare a gentle man in hand, and then stand vpon se-
curity, the horson smoothy-pates doe now weare nothing but
hie shooes and bunches of keyes at their girdles, and if a man is
through with them in honest taking vp, then they must stand
vppon security, I had as liue they would put ratsbane in my
315mouth as offer to stop it with security, I lookt a should haue
sent me two and twenty yards of sattin (as I am a true knight,)
and he sends me security: well he may sleepe in security, for he
hath the horne of aboundance, and the lightnesse of his wife
320shines through it: wheres Bardolf, & yet can not he see though
he haue his owne lanthorne to light him.
Boy Hees gone in Smithfield to buy your worship a horse.
325sir Iohn I bought him in Paules, and heele buy me a horse
in Smithfield, and I could get me but a wife in the stewes, I
were man'd, horsde, and wiu'd.
Enter Lord chiefe Iustice.
Boy Sir, here comes the noble man that committed the prince
330for striking him about Bardolfe.
sir Iohn Wait close, I will not see him.
Iustice Whats hee that goes there?
seru. Falstaffe, and't please your lordship.
Iust. He that was in question for the rob'ry?
335seru. He my Lord, but he hath since done good seruice at
Shrewsbury, & (as I heare,) is now going with some charge to
the lord Iohn of Lancaster.
Iust. What to Yorke? call him backe againe.
seru. Sir Iohn Falstaffe.
340Iohn Boy, tell him I am deafe.
Boy You must speake lowder, my master is deafe.
Iust. I am sure he is to the hearing of any thing good, goe
plucke him by the elbow, I must speake with him.
seru. Sir Iohn?
345Falst. What? a yong knaue and begging? is there not wars?
is there not employment? doth not the King lacke subiects? do
not the rebels need souldiers, though it be a shame to be on any
side but one, it is worse shame to beg then to be on the worst
side, were it worse then the name of Rebellion can tell how to
350make it.
seru. You mistake me sir.
Iohn Why sir, did I say you were an honest man, setting my
knighthood and my souldiership aside, I had lied in my throat
if I had said so.
355seru. I pray you sir then set your knighthood, and your sol-
diership aside, and giue me leaue to tell you, you lie in your
throate, if you say I am any other then an honest man.
Iohn I giue thee leaue to tell me, so I lay aside that which
360growes to me, if thou getst any leaue of me, hang me, if thou
takst leaue, thou wert better be hangd, you hunt coūnter, hence,
auaunt.
seru. Sir, my Lord would speake with you.
Iust. Sir Iohn Falstaffe, a word with you.
365Falst. My good Lord, God giue your lordship good time
of day, I am glad to see your lordship abroade, I heard say your
lordship was sicke, I hope your lordship goes abroade by ad-
uise, your lordship, though not clean past your youth, haue yet
some smack of an ague in you, some relish of the saltnes of time
in you, and I most humbly beseech your lordship to haue a re-
uerend care of your health.
Iustice Sir Iohn, I sent for you before your expedition to
Shrewsbury.
sir Iohn Andt please your lorship, I heare his maiesty is re-
375turnd with some discomfort from Wales.
Iust. I talke not of his maiesty, you would not come when I
sent for you.
Falst. And I heare moreouer, his highnes is falne into this
same horson apoplexi.
380Iust. Well, God mend him, I pray you let me speake with
you.
Falst. This appoplexi as I take it? is a kind of lethergie, and't
please your lordship, a kind of sleeping in the bloud, a horson
tingling.
Iust. What tell you me of it, be it as it is.
Falst. It hath it originall from much griefe, from study, and
385perturbation of the braine, I haue read the cause of his effects
in Galen, it is a kind of deafenes.
Iust. I think you are falne into the disease, for you heare not
what I say to you.
Old. Very wel my lord, very wel, rather and't please you it is
390the disease of not listning, the maladie of not marking that I
am troubled withall.
Iust. To punish you by the heeles, would amend the atten-
tion of your eares, and I care not if I doe become your
phisitian.
Falst. I am as poore as Iob my lord, but not so pacient,
395your Lordship may minister the potion of imprisonment to
me, in respect of pouerty, but how I should be your pacient to
follow your prescriptions, the wise may make som dramme of
a scruple, or indeede a scruple it selfe.
Iust. I sent for you when there were matters against you for
400your life to come speake with me.
Falst. As I was then aduisde by my learned counsail in the
lawes of this land seruice, I did not come.
Iust. Wel, the truth is sir Iohn, you liue in great infamy.
Falst. He that buckles himselfe in my belt cannot liue in
lesse.
405Iust. Your meanes are very slender, and your waste is great.
Falst. I would it were otherwise, I would my meanes were
greater and my waste slender.
Iust. You haue misled the youthfull prince.
Falst. The yong prince hath misled me, I am the felow with
410the great belly, and he my dogge.
Iust. Wel, I am loth to gall a new heald wound, your daies
seruice at Shrewsbury, hath a little guilded ouer your nights
exploit on Gadshill, you may thanke th'vnquiet time, for your
quiet oreposting that action.
415Falst. My lord.
Iust. But since all is well, keepe it so, wake not a sleeping
wolfe.
Falst. To wake a wolfe, is as bad as smell a fox.
Iust. VVhat you are as a candle, the better part, burnt out.
Falst. A wassel candle my lord, al tallow, if I did say of wax,
420my growth would approue the truth.
Iust. There is not a white haire in your face, but should
haue his effect of grauity.
Falst. His effect of grauy, grauie, grauie.
Iust. You follow the yong prince vp and downe, like his
425ill angell.
Falst. Not so my lord, your ill angell is light, but I hope he
that lookes vpon me will take me without weighing, and yet
in some respects I grant I cannot go. I cannot tell, vertue is of
so little regard in these costar-mongers times, that true valour
430is turnd Berod, Pregnancie is made a Tapster, & his quick wit
wasted in giuing reckonings, all the other giftes appertinent
to man, as the malice of his age shapes the one not worth a
goosbery, you that are old consider not the capacities of vs that
435are yong, you doe measure the heate of our liuers with the bit-
ternesse of your galles, and we that are in the vaward of our
youth, I must confesse are wagges too.
Lo. Do you set downe your name in the scroule of youth,
that are written downe, old with all the characters of age? haue
440you not a moist eie, a dry hand, a yelow cheeke, a white beard,
a decreasing leg, an increasing belly? is not your voice broken,
your winde short, your chinne double, your wit single, and e-
uery part about you blasted with antiquitie, and will you yet
call your selfe yong? fie, fie, fie, sir Iohn.
445Iohn My Lorde, I was borne about three of the clocke in
the afternoone, with a white head, and something a round bel-
lie, for my voyce, I haue lost it with hallowing, and singing of
Anthems: to approoue my youth further, I will not: the truth
is, I am onely olde in iudgement and vnderstanding: and hee
that wil caper with me for a thousand markes, let him lend me
450the money, and haue at him for the boxe of the yeere that the
Prince gaue you, he gaue it like a rude Prince, and you tooke
it like a sensible Lord: I haue checkt him for it, and the yong
lion repents, mary not in ashes and sackcloth, but in new silke,
455and olde sacke.
Lord Well, God send the prince a better companion.
Iohn God send the companion a better prince, I cannot
ridde my hands of him.
Lord Well, the King hath seuerd you: I heare you are go-
460ing with lord Iohn of Lancaster, against the Archbishop and
the Earle of Northumberland.
Iohn Yea, I thanke your prety sweet witte for it: but looke
you pray, all you that kisse my lady Peace at home, that our
armies ioyne not in a hote day, for, by the Lord, I take but two
465shirts out with me, and I meane not to sweate extraordinarily:
if it be a hot day, & I brandish any thing but a bottle. I would
I might neuer spit white again: there is not a dangerous action
can peepe out his head, but I am thrust vpon it. Wel, I cannot
last euer, but it was alway yet the tricke of our English nation,
469.1if they haue a good thing, to make it too common. If yee will
needs say I am an olde man, you should giue me rest: I would
to God my name were not so terrible to the enemy as it is, I
were better to be eaten to death with a rust, than to be scoured
.5to nothing with perpetuall motion.
470Lord Well, be honest, be honest, and God blesse your ex-
pedition.
Iohn Will your lordship lend me a thousand pound to fur-
nish me forth?
Lord Not a penny, not a penny, you are too impatient to
475beare crosses: fare you well: commend mee to my coosine
Westmerland.
Iohn If I do, fillip me with a three man beetle: A man can
no more separate age and couetousnesse, than a can part yong
limbs and lechery, but the gowt galles the one, and the pox
480pinches the other, and so both the degrees preuent my curses,
Boy Sir.
Iohn What money is in my purse?
Boy Seuen groates and two pence.
485Iohn I can get no remedy against this consumption of the
purse, borrowing onely lingers and lingers it out, but the dis-
ease is incurable: Go beare this letter to my lord of Lancaster,
this to the Prince, this to the Earle of Westmerland, and this to
olde mistris Vrsula, whome I haue weekely sworne to marry
490since I perceiud the first white haire of my chin: about it, you
know where to finde me: a pox of this gowt, or a gowt of this
pox, for the one or the other playes the rogue with my great
toe. Tis no matter if I doe hault, I haue the warres for my
495color, and my pension shal seeme the more reasonable: a good
wit will make vse of any thing; I will turne diseases to commo-
ditie.
Enter th'Archbishop, Thomas Mowbray (Earle Marshall) the
Lord Hastings, Fauconbridge, and Bardolfe.
Bishop Thus haue you heard our cause, and knowne our
And my most noble friends, I pray you al
Speake plainely your opinions of our hopes,
And first Lord Marshall, what say you to it?
505Marsh. I well allow the occasion of our armes,
But gladly would be better satisfied,
How in our meanes we should aduance ourselues,
To looke with forehead, bold, and big enough,
Vpon the power and puissance of the King.
510Hast. Our present musters grow vpon the file,
To fiue and twenty thousand men of choise,
And our supplies liue largely in the hope
Of great Northumberland, whose bosome burnes
With an incensed fire of iniuries.
515Bard. The question then Lord Hastings standeth thus,
Whether our present fiue and twentie thousand,
May hold vp head without Northumberland.
Hast. With him we may.
Bard. Yea mary, theres the point,
520But if without him we be thought too feeble,
My iudgement is we should not step too far.
Bish. Tis very true lord Bardolfe, for indeede
It was yong Hot-spurs cause at Shrewsbury.
Bard. It was my Lord, who lined himselfe with hope,
Eating the ayre, and promise of supplie,
530Flattring himselfe in proiect of a power,
Much smaller then the smallest of his thoughts,
And so with great imagination,
Proper to mad-men, led his powers to death,
And winking, leapt into destruction.
535Hast. But by your leaue it neuer yet did hurt,
To lay downe likelihoods and formes of hope.
Bard. We fortifie in paper, and in figures,
Vsing the names of men in steed of men,
Like on that drawes the model of an house,
560Beyond his power to build it, who (halfe thorough)
Giues o're, and leaues his part-created cost,
A naked subiect to the weeping clowdes,
And waste for churlish winters tyrannie.
Hast. Grant that our hopes (yet likely of faire birth)
565Should be stil-borne, and that we now possest
The vtmost man of expectation,
I thinke we are so, body strong enough,
Euen as we are to equal with the King.
Bard. What, is the King but fiue and twenty thousand?
570Hast. To vs no more, nay not so much, Lord Bardolfe,
For his diuisions, as the times do brawle,
And in three heads, one power against the French,
And one against Glendower perforce a third
Must take vp vs, so is the vnfirme King
575In three diuided, and his coffers sound
With hollow pouertie and emptinesse.
Bish. That he should draw his seuerall strengths togither,
And come against vs in full puissance,
Need not to be dreaded.
580Hast. If he should do so, French and Welch he leaues his
back vnarmde, they baying him at the heeles, neuer feare that.
Bar. Who is it like should leade his forces hither?
Hast. The Duke of Lancaster and Westmerland:
585Against the Welsh, himself and Harry Monmouth:
But who is substituted against the French
I haue no certaine notice.
Bish. Shall we go draw our numbers, and set on?
Hast. We are Times subiects, and Time bids be gone.
ex.
615
Enter Hostesse of the Tauerne, and an Officer or two.
Hostesse Master Phang, haue you entred the action?
Phang It is entred.
Host. Wheres your yeoman? ist a lusty yeoman? wil a stand
too't?
620Phang Sirra, wheres Snare?
Host. O Lord I, good master Snare.
Snare Here, here.
Phang Snare, we must arest sir Iohn Falstaffe.
Host. Yea good master Snare, I haue entred him and all.
625Snare It may chaunce cost some of vs our liues, for he will
stabbe.
Host. Alas the day, take heed of him, he stabd me in mine
owne house, most beastly in good faith, a cares not what mis-
chiefe he does, if his weapon be out, he will foyne like any di-
uell, he will spare neither man, woman, nor child.
Phang If I can close with him, I care not for his thrust.
Host. No nor I neither, Ile be at your elbow.
Phang And I but fist him once, and a come but within my
view.
635Host. I am vndone by his going, I warrant you, hees an in-
finitiue thing vppon my score, good maister Phang holde him
sure, good master Snare let him not scape, a comes continually
to Pie corner (sauing your manhoods) to buy a saddle, and he
is indited to dinner to the Lubbers head in Lumbert streete to
640master Smooths the silk man, I pray you since my exion is en-
tred, and my case so openly knowne to the worlde, let him be
brought in to his answer, a hundred marke is a long one, for a
poore lone woman to beare, and I haue borne, and borne, and
borne, and haue bin fubd off, and fubd off, and fubd off, from
645this day to that day, that it is a shame to be thought on, there is
no honesty in such dealing, vnlesse a woman should be made
an asse, and a beast, to beare euery knaues wrong: yonder he
comes, and that arrant malmsie-nose knaue Bardolfe with him,
650do your offices do your offices master Phāng, & master Snare,
do me, do me, do me your offices.
651.1
Enter sir Iohn, and Bardolfe, and the boy.
Falst. How now, whose mare's dead? whats the matter?
Phang I arrest you at the sute of mistris Quickly.
Falst. Away varlets, draw Bardolfe, cut me off the villaines
655head, throw the queane in the channell.
Host. Throw me in the channell? Ile throw thee in the chan-
nel, wilt thou, wilt thou, thou bastardly rogue, murder murder,
a thou honisuckle villaine, wilt thou kill Gods officers and the
Kings? a thou honiseed rogue, thou art a honiseed, a man quel-
660ler, and a woman queller.
Falst. Keepe them off Bardolfe.
661.1Offic. A reskew, a reskew.
Host. Good people bring a reskew or two, thou wot, wot
thou, thou wot, wot ta, do do thou rogue, do thou hempseed.
Boy Away you scullian, you rampallian, you fustilarian, ile
665tickle your catastrophe.
Enter Lord chiefe iustice and his men.
Lord What is the matter? keepe the peace here, ho.
Hostesse Good my lord be good to me, I beseech you stand
to me.
Lord How now sir Iohn, what are you brawling here?
670Doth this become your place, your time, and businesse?
You should haue bin well on your way to Yorke:
Stand from him fellow, wherefore hang'st thou vpon him.
Host. O my most worshipful Lord, and't please your grace
I am a poore widdow of Eastcheape, and he is arrested at my
675sute.
Lord For what summe?
Host. It is more then for some my Lord, it is for al I haue, he
hath eaten me out of house and home, he hath put all my sub-
stance into that fat belly of his, but I wil haue some of it out a-
gaine, or I wil ride thee a nights like the mare.
Falst. I think I am as like to ride the mare if I haue any van-
tage of ground to get vp.
Lord How comes this sir Iohn? what man of good temper
would endure this tempest of exclamation; are you not asha-
685med to inforce a poore widdow, to so rough a course to come
by her owne.
Falst. What is the grosse summe that I owe thee?
Host. Mary if thou wert an honest man, thy selfe and the
mony too: thou didst sweare to me vpon a parcell guilt goblet,
690sitting in my dolphin chamber, at the round table by a sea cole
fire, vpon wednesday in Wheeson weeke, when the prince
broke thy head, for liking his father to a singing man of Win-
sor, thou didst sweare to me thēn, as I was washing thy wound,
to marry me, and make me my lady thy wife, canst thou deny
695it, did not goodwife Keech the butchers wife come in then and
cal me gossip Quickly, comming in to borow a messe of vine-
gar, telling vs she had a good dish of prawnes, whereby thou
didst desire to eate some, whereby I told thee they were ill
for a greene wound, and didst thou not, when she was gone
700down stayers, desire me, to be no more so familiarity, with such
poore people, saying that ere long they should cal me madam,
and didst thou not kisse me, and bid me fetch thee thirtie shil-
lings, I put thee now to thy booke oath, denie it if thon canst.
705Falst. My lord this is a poore made soule, and she saies vp
and downe the towne, that her eldest sonne is like you, she
hath bin in good case, and the trueth is pouerty hath distracted
her, but for these foolish officers, I beseech you I may haue re-
dresse against them.
710Lo. Sir Iohn, sir Iohn, I am wel acquainted with your maner
of wrenching the true cause, the false way: it is not a confident
brow, nor the throng of words that come with such more then
impudent sawcines from you, can thrust me from a leuel con-
sideration: you haue as it appeares to me practisde vpon the
715easie yeelding spirite of this woman, and made her serue your
715.1vses both in purse and in person.
Host. Yea in truth my Lord.
Lo. Pray thee peace, pay her the debt you owe her, and vn-
pay the villany you haue done with her, the one you may doe
with sterling mony, and the other with currant repentance.
720Falst. My Lord I will not vndergoe this snepe without re-
ply, you cal honorable boldnes impudent sawcinesse, if a man
wil make curtsie and say nothing, he is vertuous, no my Lord
my humble duty remembred, I will not bee your suter, I say
to you I do desire deliuerance from these officers, being vpon
725hasty imployment in the Kings affayres.
Lord You speake as hauing power to do wrong, but an-
swer in th'effect of your reputation, and satisfie the poore wo-
man.
Falst. Come hither hostesse.
730Lord Now master Gower, what newes.
enter a messenger.
Gower The King my Lord, and Harry prince of Wales,
Are neare at hand, the rest the paper tells.
Falst. As I am a gentleman!
733.1Host. Faith you said so before.
735Falst. As I am a gentleman, come, no more words of it.
Host. By this heaunly ground I tread on, I must be faine to
pawne both my plate, & the tapestry of my dining chambers-
Falst. Glasses glasses is the onely drinking, and for thy wals
740a pretty sleight drollery, or the storie of the prodigal, or the
Iarman hunting in waterworke, is worth a thousand of these
bed-hangers, and these flie bitten tapestrie, let it be x. l if thou
canst: come, and twere not for thy humors, theres not a better
745wench in England, goe wash thy face and draw the action,
come thou must not be in this humor with me, dost not know
me, come, come, I know thou wast set on to this.
Host. Pray thee sir Iohn let it be but twentie nobles, ifaith
I am loath to pawne my plate so God saue me law.
750Falst. Let it alone, ile make other shift, youle be a foole stil.
Host. Well, you shall haue it, though I pawne my gowne,
I hope youle come to supper, youle pay me al together.
755Falst. Wil I liue? goe with her, with her, hooke on, hooke
on.
exit hostesse and sergeant.
Host. Will you haue Doll Tere-sheet meete you at supper.
Falst. No more words, lets haue her.
760Lord I haue heard better newes.
Falst. Whats the newes my lord?
Lord Where lay the King to night?
Mess. At Billingsgate my Lord.
Falst. I hope my Lord al's wel, what is the newes my lord?
Lord Come all his forces backe?
Mess. No, fifteen hundred foot, fiue hundred horse
Are marcht vp to my lord of Lancaster,
Against Northumberland, and the Archbishop.
770Falst. Comes the King back from Wales, my noble lord?
Lord You shall haue letters of me presently,
Come, go along with me, good master Gower.
Falst. My lord.
Lord Whats the matter?
775Falstaffe Maister Gower, shall I intreate you with mee to
dinner?
Gower I must waite vpon my good lord here, I thank you
good sir Iohn.
Lord Sir Iohn, you loyter heere too long,
780Being you are to take souldiers vp
In Counties as you go.
Falstaffe Will you suppe with mee maister Gower?
Lord. What foolish maister taught you these manners, sir
Iohn?
Falstaffe Maister Gower, if they become me not, hee was a
785foole that taught them mee: this is the right fencing grace, my
Lord, tap for tap, and so part faire.
Lord Now the Lord lighten thee, thou art a great foole.
790
Enter the Prince, Poynes, sir Iohn Russel, with other.
Prince Before God, I am exceeding weary.
Poynes Ist come to that? I had thought wearines durst not
haue attacht one of so hie bloud.
795Prince Faith it does me, though it discolors the complexi-
on of my greatnes to acknowledge it: doth it not shew vildly
in me, to desire small beere?
Poynes Why a Prince should not be so loosely studied, as
to remember so weake a composition.
800Prince Belike then my appetite was not princely gote, for
by my troth, I do now remember the poor creature smal beere.
But indeed these humble considerations make me out of loue
with my greatnesse. What a disgrace is it to mee to remember
thy name? or to know thy face to morow? or to take note how
805many paire of silke stockings thou hast with these, and those
that were thy peach colourd once, or to beare the inuentorie of
thy shirts, as one for superfluitie, and another for vse. But that
the Tennis court keeper knows better than I, for it is a low eb
810of linnen with thee when thou keepest not racket there, as thou
hast not done a great while, because the rest of the low Coun-
tries haue eate vp thy holland: and God knows whether those
812.1that bal out the ruines of thy linnen shal inherite his kingdom:
but the Midwiues say, the children are not in the fault where-
vpon the world increases, and kinreds are mightily strengthe-
ned.
Poynes How ill it followes, after you haue labored so hard,
815you should talke so ydlely! tell me how many good yong prin-
ces woulde doe so, their fathers being so sicke, as yours at this
816.1time is.
Prince Shall I tel thee one thing Poynes?
Poynes Yes faith, and let it be an excellent good thing.
820Prince It shall serue among wittes of no higher breeding
then thine.
Poynes Go to, I stand the push of your one thing that you
will tell.
Prince Mary I tell thee it is not meete that I should bee sad
825now my father is sicke, albeit I could tell to thee, as to one it
pleases me for fault of a better to call my friend, I could be sad,
and sad indeede too.
Poynes Very hardly, vpon such a subiect.
Prince By this hand, thou thinkest me as farre in the diuels
830booke, as thou and Falstaffe, for obduracie and persistancie,
let the end trie the man, but I tel thee, my heart bleeds inward-
ly that my father is so sick, and keeping such vile company as
thou arte, hath in reason taken from me all ostentation of sor-
rowe.
835Poynes The reason.
Prince What wouldst thou thinke of me if I should weep?
Poynes I woulde thincke thee a most princely hypocrite.
Prince It would bee euery mans thought, and thou arte
a blessed felow, to thinke as euery man thinkes, neuer a mans
840thought in the world, keepes the rode way better then thine,
euerie man would thinke me an hypocrite indeede, and what
accites your most worshipfull thought to thinke so?
Poynes Why because you haue been so lewd and so much
845engraffed to Falstaffe.
Prince And to thee.
Poyne By this light I am well spoke on, I can heare it with
mine owne eares, the worst that they can say of me is that I am
a second brother, and that I am a proper fellow of my hands,
850and those two things I confesse I cannot helpe: by the masse
here comes Bardolfe.
851.1
Enter Bardolfe and boy.
Prince And the boy that I gaue Falstaffe, a had him from
me Christian, and looke if the fat villaine haue not transformd
him Ape.
Bard. God saue your grace.
Prince And yours most noble Bardolfe.
Poynes Come you vertuous asse, you bashfull foole, must
you be blushing, wherefore blush you now? what a maidenly
860man at armes are you become? ist such a matter to get a pottle-
pots maidenhead?
Boy A calls me enow my Lord, through a red lattice, and I
could discerne no part of his face from the window, at last I
spied his eies, and me thought he had made two holes in the ale
865wiues peticote and so peept through.
Prince Has not the boy profited?
Bard. Away you horson vpright rabble, away.
Boy Away you rascally Altheas dreame, away.
870Prince Instruct vs boy, what dreame boy?
Boy Mary my lord, Althear dreampt she was deliuered of
a firebrand, and therefore I call him her dreame.
Prince A crownes worth of good interpretation there tis boy.
875Poines O that this blossome could be kept from cankers!
well, there is sixpence to preserue thee.
Bard. And you do not make him hangd among you, the gal-
lowes shall haue wrong.
Prince And how doth thy master Bardolfe?
880Bard. Well my Lord, he heard of your graces comming to
towne, theres a letter for you.
Poynes Deliuerd with good respect, and how doth the mar-
tlemasse your master?
Bard. In bodily health sir.
885Poynes Mary the immortall part needes a phisitian, but that
moues not him, though that be sicke, it dies not.
Prince I do allow this Wen to be as familiar with me, as my
dogge, and he holds his place, for looke you how he writes.
Poynes
Iohn Falstaffe Knight,
euery man must know that
as oft as he has occasion to name himselfe: euen like those that
are kin to the King for they neuer pricke their finger, but they
saye, theres some of the Kings bloud spilt: how comes that
895(saies he) that takes vppon him not to conceiue the answer is as
ready as a borowed cap: I am the Kings poore cosin, sir.
Prince Nay they will be kin to vs, or they will fetch it from
Iaphet, but the letter,
Sir Iohn Falstaffe knight, to the sonne of
900the king, nearest his father, Harry prince of Wales, greeting.
Poynes Why this is a certificate.
Prince Peace.
I will imitate the honourable Romanes in breuitie.
905Poynes He sure meanes breuity in breath, short winded,
I commend mee to thee, I commend thee, and, I leaue
thee, be not too familiar with Poynes, for he misuses thy fa-
uours so much, that he sweares thou art to mary his sister Nel,
repent at idle times as thou maist, and so farwel.
910
Thine by yea, and no, which is as much as to say, as
thou vsest him, Iacke Falstaffe with my family,
Iohn with my brothers and sisters, and sir Iohn
with all Europe.
Poynes My Lord, Ile steep this letter in sacke and make him
915eate it.
Prince Thats to make him eate twenty of his words, but do
you vse me, thus Ned? must I marrie your sister?
Poynes God send the wench no worse fortune, but I neuer
said so.
920Prince Wel, thus we play the fooles with the time, and the
spirits of the wise sit in the clowdes and mocke vs, is your ma-
ster here in London?
Bard. Yea my Lord.
Prince Where sups he? doth the old boare feede in the old
925Franke?
Bard. At the old place, my lord, in Eastcheape.
Prince VVhat companie?
Boy Ephesians, my lord, of the old church.
Prince Sup any women with him?
930Boy None my lord, but old mistris Quickly, and mistris Dol
Tere-sheet.
Prince VVhat Pagan may that be?
Boy A proper gentlewoman sir, and a kinswoman of my
masters.
935Prince Euen such kinne as the parish Heicfors are to the
towne bull, shall we steale vpon them Ned at supper?
Poynes I am your shadow my Lord, ile follow you.
Prince Sirra, you boy and Bardolfe, no worde to your ma-
ster that I am yet come to towne; theres for your silence.
Bar. I haue no tongue sir.
Boy And for mine sir, I will gouerne it.
Prince Fare you well: go, this Doll Tere-sheete should be
945some rode.
Poyns I warrant you, as common as the way between S. Al-
bons and London.
Prince How might we see Falstaffe bestow himself to night
in his true colours, and not our selues be seene?
950Poynes Put on two letherne ierkins and aprons, and waite
vpon him at his table as drawers.
Prince From a god to a bul, a heauy descension, it was Ioues
case, from a pince to a prentise, a low transformation, that shal
be mine, for in enery thing the purpose must weigh with the
955folly, follow me Ned.
exeunt.
Enter Northumberland his wife, and the wife to Harry Percie.
North. I pray thee louing wife and gentle daughter,
960Giue euen way vnto my rough affaires,
Put not you on the visage of the times,
And be like them to Percy troublesome.
Wife I haue giuen ouer, I will speake no more,
Do what you wil, your wisedome be your guide.
965North. Alas sweete wife, my honor is at pawne,
And but my going, nothing can redeeme it.
Kate O yet for Gods sake, go not to these wars,
The time was father, that you broke your word,
When you were more endeere to it then now,
970When your owne Percie, when my hearts deere Harry,
Threw many a Northward looke, to see his father
Bring vp his powers, but he did long in vaine.
Who then perswaded you to stay at home?
There were two honors lost, yours, and your sonnes,
975For yours, the God of heauen brighten it,
For his, it stucke vpon him as the sunne
In the grey vault of heauen, and by his light
Did all the Cheualry of England moue
To do braue acts, he was indeede the glasse
980Wherein the noble youth did dresse themselues.
North. Beshrew your heart,
1005Faire daughter, you do draw my spirites from me,
With new lamenting ancient ouersights,
But I must go and meete with danger there,
Or it will seeke me in an other place,
And find me worse prouided.
1010Wife O flie to Scotland,
Till that the nobles and the armed commons,
Haue of their puissance made a little taste.
Kate If they get ground and vantage of the King,
Then ioyne you with them like a ribbe of steele,
1015To make strength stronger: but for al our loues,
First let them trie themselues, so did your sonne,
He was so suffred, so came I a widow,
And neuer shall haue length of life enough,
To raine vpon remembrance with mine eies,
1020That it may grow and sprout as high as heauen,
For recordation to my noble husband.
North. Come, come, go in with me, tis with my mind,
As with the tide, sweld vp vnto his height,
That makes a stil stand, running neither way,
1025Faine would I go to meete the Archbishop,
But many thousand reasons hold me backe,
I will resolue for Scotland, there am I,
Till time and vantage craue my company.
exeunt.
1030
Enter a Drawer or two.
Francis What the diuel hast thou brought there apple
Iohns? thou knowest sir Iohn cannot indure an apple Iohn.
Draw. Mas thou saist true, the prince once set a dish of ap-
1035ple Iohns before him, and tolde him there were fiue more sir
Iohns, and putting off his hat, said, I will now take my leaue of
these six drie, round, old, withered Knights, it angred him to
the heart, but he hath forgot that.
1040Fran. Why then couer and set them downe, and see if
thou canst find out Sneakes Noise, mistris Tere-sheet would
faine heare some musique.
1042.1Dra. Dispatch, the roome where they supt is too hot, theile
come in straight.
Francis Sirra, here wil be the prince and master Poynes a-
non, and they will put on two of our ierkins and aprons, and sir
1045Iohn must not know of it, Bardolfe hath brought word.
1045.1
Enter Will.
Dra. By the mas here will be old vtis, it wil be an excellent
stratagem.
Francis Ile see if I can find out Sneake.
exit
1050
Enter mistris Quickly, and Doll Tere-sheet.
Quickly Yfaith sweet heart, me thinkes now you are in an
excellent good temperalitie. Your pulsidge beates as extraor-
dinarily as heart would desire, and your colour I warrant you
is as red as any rose, in good truth law: but yfaith you haue
1055drunke too much cannaries, and thats a maruelous searching
wine, and it perfumes the bloud ere one can say, whats this,
how do you now?
Tere. Better then I was: hem.
Qui. Why thats well said, a good heart's worth gold: loe
1060here comes sir Iohn.
enter sir Iohn.
sir Iohn
When Arthur first in court,
empty the iourdan
and
was a worthy King
: how now mistris Doll?
host. Sicke of a calme, yea good faith.
1065Falst. So is all her sect, and they be once in a calme they are
sicke.
Tere. A pox damne you, you muddie rascall, is that all the
comfort you giue me?
Falst. You make fat rascals mistris Dol.
1070Tere. I make them? gluttonie, and diseases make, I make
them not.
Falst. If the cooke help to make the gluttonie, you helpe to
make the diseases Doll, we catch of you Doll, we catch of you
graunt that my poore vertue, grant that.
1075Doll Yea ioy, our chaines and our iewels.
Fa. Your brooches, pearles, & ouches for to serue brauely,
is to come halting off, you know to come off the breach, with
his pike bent brauely, and to surgerie brauely, to venture vpon
the chargde chambers brauely.
1079.1Doll Hang your selfe, you muddie Cunger, hang your
self.
host By my troth this is the old fashion, you two neuer meet
but you fall to some discord, you are both ygood truth as rew
matique as two dry tosts, you cannot one beare with anothers
cōnfirmities, what the goodyere one must beare, & that must be
you, you are the weaker vessell, as they say, the emptier vessel.
Dorothy Can a weake empty vessell beare such a huge full
hogshead? theres a whole marchānts venture of Burdeux stuffe
1090in him, you haue not seene a hulke better stuft in the hold.
Come, ile be friends with thee iacke, thou art going to the
wars, and whether I shall euer see thee againe or no there is no
body cares.
1095
Enter drawer.
Dra. Sir, Antient pistol's belowe, and would speake with
you.
Dol Hang him swaggering rascal, let him not come hither
it is the foule-mouthd'st rogue in England.
host. If he swagger, let him not come here, no by my faith I
must liue among my neighbours, Ile no swaggerers, I am in
good name, and fame with the very best: shut the doore, there
comes no swaggerers here, I haue not liu'd al this while to haue
1105swaggering now, shut the doore I pray you.
Fal. Dost thou heare hostesse?
Host. Pray ye pacifie your selfe sir Iohn, there comes no
swaggerers here.
1110Fal. Dost thou heare? it is mine Ancient.
Ho. Tilly fally, sir Iohn, nere tel me: & your ancient swag-
grer comes not in my doores: I was before maister Tisicke
the debuty tother day, & (as he said to me) twas no longer ago
than wedsday last, I good faith, neighbor Quickely, sayes he,
1115maister Dumbe our minister was by then, neighbor Quickly
(saies he) receiue those that are ciuil, for (saide he) you are in an
ill name: now a saide so, I can tell whereupon. For (saies he)
you are an honest woman, and well thought on, therefore take
heede what ghests you receiue, receiue (saies he) no swagge-
ring companions: there comes none here: you would blesse
you to heare what he said: no, Ile no swaggrers.
Falst. Hees no swaggrer hostesse, a tame cheter yfaith, you
1125may stroke him as gently as a puppy grey-hound, heele not
swagger with a Barbary hen, if her feathers turne backe in any
shew of resistance, call him vp Drawer.
Host. Cheter call you him? I will barre no honest man my
1130house, nor no cheter, but I do not loue swagering by my troth,
I am the worse when one saies swagger: feele maisters, how I
shake, looke you, I warrant you.
Teresh. So you do hostesse.
Host. Doe I? yea in very trueth doe I, and twere an aspen
1135leafe, I cannot abide swaggrers.
Enter antient Pistol, and Bardolfes boy.
Pistol God saue you sir Iohn.
Fal. Welcome ancient Pistoll, heere Pistoll, I charge you
with a cuppe of sacke, do you discharge vpon mine hostesse.
Pist. I will discharge vpon her sir Iohn, with two bullets.
Fal. shhe is pistoll proofe: sir, you shall not hardely offend
her.
1145Host. Come, Ile drink no proofes, nor no bullets, Ile drink
no more than will do me good, for no mans pleasure, I.
Pist. Then, to you mistris Dorothy, I will charge you.
1150Doro. Charge me? I scorne you, scuruy companion: what
you poore base rascally cheting lacke-linnen mate? away you
mouldie rogue, away, I am meate for your maister.
Pist. I know you mistris Dorothy.
1155Doro. Away you cutpurse rascall, you filthy boung, away,
by this wine Ile thrust my knife in your mouldie chappes, and
you play the sawcie cuttle with me. Away you bottle ale ras-
call, you basket hilt stale iuggler, you. Since when, I pray
you sir: Gods light, with two points on your shoulder? much.
Pist. God let me not liue, but I will murther your ruffe for
this.
1161.1sir Iohn No more Pistol, I would not haue you go off here,
discharge your selfe of our company, Pistoll.
Host. No, good captaine Pistoll, not here, sweete captaine.
Doro. Captain, thou abhominable damnd cheter, art thou
1165not ashamed to be called Captaine? and Captaines were of my
mind, they would trunchion you out, for taking their names
vpon you, before you haue earnd them: you a captaine? you
slaue, for what? for teareing a poore whoores ruffe in a bawdy
house: hee a captaine! hang him rogue, he liues vpon mowldy
1170stewd pruins, and dried cakes: a captaine? Gods light these vil-
laines wil make the word as odious as the word occupy, which
1171.1was an excellent good worde before it was il sorted, therefore
captains had neede look too't.
Bard. Pray thee go downe good Ancient.
1175Falst. Hearke thee hither mistris Dol.
Pist. Not I, I tell thee what corporall Bardolfe, I could
teare her, Ile be reuengde of her.
Boy Pray thee go downe.
Pist. Ile see her damnd first, to Plutoes damnd lake by this
1180hānd to th'infernal deep, with erebus & tortures vile also: holde
hooke and line, say I: downe, downe dogges, downe faters haue
we not Hiren here?
Host. Good captaine Peesell be quiet, tis very late yfaith, I
beseeke you now aggrauate your choller.
1185Pist These be good humors indeede, shal pack-horses, and
hollow pamperd iades of Asia which cannot goe but thirtie
mile a day, compare with Cæsars and with Canibals, and tro-
iant Greekes? nay rather damne them with King Cerberus, and
let the Welkin roare, shall we fall foule for toies?
Host. By my troth captaine, these are very bitter words.
Bard. Be gone good Ancient, this will grow to a brawle
anon.
1195Pist. Men like dogges giue crownes like pins, haue we not
Hiren here?
Host. A my word Captaine, theres none such here, what
the goodyeare do you thinke I would denie her? for Gods sake
be quiet.
1200Pist. Then feed and be fat, my faire Calipolis, come giues
some sacke, si fortune me tormente sperato me contento, feare we
brode sides? no, let the fiend giue fire, giue me some sacke, and
sweet hart, lie thou there, come we to ful points here? and are &
cæteraes, no things?
Falst. Pistol, I would be quiet.
Pist. Sweet Knight, I kisse thy neaffe, what, we haue seene
the seuen starres.
Dol. For Gods sake thrust him down staires, I cannot indure
1210such a fustian rascall.
Pist Thrust him downe staires, know we not Galloway
nagges?
Falst. Quaite him downe Bardolfe like a shoue-groat shil-
ling, nay, and a doe nothing but speake nothing, a shall be no-
1215thing here.
Bard. Come, get you downe staires.
Pist. What shall we haue incision? shall we imbrew? then
death rocke me a sleepe, abridge my dolefull daies: why then
let grieuons gastly gaping wounds vntwinde the sisters three,
1220come Atropose I say.
Host. Heres goodly stuffe toward.
Falst. Giue me my rapier, boy.
Dol I pray thee Iacke, I pray thee do not drawe.
Fal. Get you downe staires.
1225Host. Heres a goodly tumult, ile forsweare keeping house a-
fore ile be in these tirrits and frights, so, murder I warant now,
alas, alas, put vp your naked weapons, put vp your naked wea-
pons.
Dol. I pray thee Iack be quiet, the rascal's gone, ah you hor-
1230son little vliaunt villaine you.
Host. Are you not hurte i'th groyne? me thought a made a
shrewd thrust at your belly.
Fal. Haue you turnd him out a doores?
Bar. Yea sir, the rascal's drunke, you haue hurt him sir i'th
1235shoulder.
Fal. A rascall to braue me?
Dol A you sweet little rogue you, alas poore ape how thou
sweatst, come let me wipe thy face, come on you horsone
chops: a rogue, yfaith I loue thee, thou art as valorous as He-
1240ctor of Troy, woorth fiue of Agamemnon, & ten times better
then the nine Worthies, a villaine!
Fal. Ah rascally slaue! I will tosse the rogue in a blanket.
1245Dol Do and thou darst for thy heart, and thou dost, ile can-
uas thee betweene a payre of sheetes.
Boy The musique is come sir.
enter musicke.
Fal. Let them play, play sirs, sit on my knee Doll, a rascall
1250bragging slaue! the rogue fled from me like quicksiluer.
Dol Yfaith and thou followdst him like a church, thou
horson little tydee Bartholemew borepigge, when wilt thou
leaue fighting a daies and foyning a nights, and begin to patch
1255vp thine old body for heauen.
Enter Prince and Poynes.
Fal Peace good Doll, do not speake like a deathes head, do
not bid me remember mine end.
Dol Sirra, what humour's the prince of?
1260Fal. A good shallow yong fellow, a would haue made a
good pantler, a would a chipt bread wel.
Dol They say Poines has a good wit.
Fal. He a good wit? hang him baboon, his wit's as thicke
1265as Tewksbury mustard, theres no more conceit in him then is
in a mallet.
Dol Why does the prince loue him so then?
Fal. Because their legges are both of a bignesse, and a plaies
at quoites well, and eates cunger and fennel, and drinkes off
1270candles endes for flappe-dragons, and rides the wilde mare
with the boyes, and iumpes vpon ioynd-stooles, and sweares
with a good grace, and weares his bootes very smoothe like
vnto the signe of the Legge, and breedes no bate with tel-
ling of discreet stories, and such other gambole faculties a has
1275that show a weake minde, and an able bodie for the which the
prince admits him: for the prince himself is such another, the
weight of a haire wil turne scales between their haber de poiz.
1280Prince Would not this naue of a wheele haue his eares cut
off?
Poynes Lets beate him before his whore.
Prince Looke where the witherd elder hath not his poule
clawd like a parrot.
1285Poynes Is it not strange that desire should so many yeeres
out liue performance.
Falst. Kisse me Doll.
Prince Saturne and Venus this yeere in coniunction? what
saies th'Almanacke to that?
1290Poyns And look whether the fierie Trigon his man be not
lisping to his master, old tables, his note booke, his counsel kee-
per?
Falst. Thou dost giue me flattering busses.
Dol By my troth I kisse thee with a most constant heart.
Falst. I am old, I am old.
Dol. I loue thee better then I loue, ere a scuruy yong boy of
them all.
Fal. What stuffe wilt haue a kirtle of? I shall receiue mony
1300a thursday, shalt haue a cap to morrow: a merry song, come it
growes late, weele to bed, thou't forget me when I am gone.
Dol By my troth thou't set me a weeping and thou saist so,
1305proue that euer I dresse my selfe handsome til thy returne, wel
hearken a'th end.
Fal. Some sacke Francis.
Prince, Poynes Anon anon sir.
Falst. Ha? a bastard sonne of the Kings? and arte not thou
1310Poynes his brother?
Prince Why thou globe of sinfull continents, what a life
dost thou leade?
Falst. A better then thou, I am a gentleman, thou art a
drawer.
1315Prince Very true sir, and I come to drawe you out by the
eares.
Host. O the Lord preserue thy grace: by my troth welcom
to London, now the Lord blesse that sweete face of thine, O
Iesu, are you come from Wales?
1320Falst. Thou horson madde compound of maiestie, by this
light, flesh, and corrupt bloud, thou art welcome.
Doll How? you fat foole I scorne you.
Poynes My lorde, he will driue you out of your reuenge,
and turne all to a meriment if you take not the heate.
Prince You horson candlemine you, how vildly did you
speake of me now, before this honest, vertuous, ciuill gentle-
woman?
Host. Gods blessing of your good heart, and so she is by my
1330troth.
Falst. Didst thou heare me?
Prince Yea and you knew me as you did, when you ranne
away by Gadshil, you knew I was at your backe, and spoke it,
on purpose to trie my patience.
1335Falst. No, no, no, not so, I did not thinke thou wast within
hearing.
Prince I shall driue you then to confesse the wilfull abuse,
and then I know how to handle you.
Falst. No abuse Hall a mine honour, no abuse.
1340Prince Not to dispraise me, and cal me pantler and bread-
chipper, and I know not what?
Fal. No abuse Hall.
Poynes No abuse?
Falst No abuse Ned i'th worlde, honest Ned, none, I dis-
1345praisde him before the wicked, that the wicked might not fall
in loue with thee: in which doing, I haue done the part of a
carefull friend and a true subiect, and thy father is to giue me
thankes for it, no abuse Hall, none Ned, none, no faith boyes
none.
1350Prince See now whether pure feare and intire cowardize,
doth not make thee wrong this virtuous gentlewoman to close
with vs: is she of the wicked, is thine hostesse here of the wic-
ked, or is thy boy of the wicked, or honest Bardolfe whose zeal
burnes in his nose of the wicked?
Poynes Answer thou dead elme, answer.
Falst. The fiend hath prickt down Bardolfe irrecouerable,
and his face is Lucifers priuy kitchin, where he doth nothing
but rost mault-worms, for the boy there is a good angel about
1360him, but the diuel blinds him too.
Prince For the weomen.
Falst. For one of them shees in hell already, and burnes
poore soules: for th'other I owe her mony, and whether she be
1365damnd for that I know not.
Host. No I warrant you.
Falst. No I thinke thou art not, I thinke thou art quit for
that, mary there is another inditement vpon thee, for suffering
1370flesh to be eaten in thy house, contrary to the law, for the which
I thinke thou wilt howle.
Host. Al vitlars do so, whats a ioynt of mutton or two in a
whole Lent?
Prince You gentlewoman.
1375Dol. What saies your grace?
Fal. His grace saies that which his flesh rebels against.
1376.1
Peyto knockes at doore.
Host. Who knockes so lowd at doore? looke too'th doore
there Francis.
Prince Peyto, how now, what newes?
Peyto The King your father is at Weminster,
And there are twenty weake and wearied postes,
Come from the North, and as I came along
1385I met and ouertooke a dozen captaines,
Bareheaded, sweating, knocking at the Tauernes,
And asking euery one for sir Iohn Falstaffe.
Prince By heauen Poines, I feele me much too blame,
So idely to prophane the precious time,
1390When tempest of commotion like the south,
Borne with blacke vapour, doth begin to melt,
And drop vpon our bare vnarmed heads,
Giue me my sword and cloke: Falstaffe, good night.
Exeunt Prince and Poynes.
1395Fal. Now comes in the sweetest morsell of the night, & we
must hence and leaue it vnpickt: more knocking at the doore?
how now, whats the matter?
Bar. You must away to court sir presently,
1400A dozen captaines stay at doore for you.
Fal. Pay the musitians sirra, farewel hostesse, farewel Dol,
you see (my good wenches) how men of merit are sought af-
ter, the vndeseruer may sleepe, when the man of action is calld
on, farewell good wenches, if I bee not sent away poste, I will
1405see you againe ere I goe.
Dol. I cannot speake: if my heart be not ready to burst: wel
sweete Iacke haue a care of thy selfe.
1410Fal. Farewell, farewell.
exit.
Host. Well, fare thee well, I haue knowne thee these twenty
nine yeares, come pease-cod time, but an honester, and truer
hearted man: wel, fare thee wel.
1415Bard. Mistris Tere-sheete.
Host. Whats the matter?
Bard. Bid mistris Tere-sheete come to my master.
Host. O runne Doll, runne, runne good Doll, come, she
1418.1comes blubberd, yea! will you come Doll?
exeunt.
Enter the King in his night-gowne
1421.1
alone.
King Go call the Earles of Surrey and of War.
But ere they come, bid them o're-reade these letters,
And well consider of them, make good speed.
1425How many thousand of my poorest subiects,
Are at this howre asleepe? ô sleepe! ô gentle sleep!
Natures soft nurse, how haue I frighted thee,
That thou no more wilt weigh my eye-liddes downe,
And steep my sences in forgetfulnesse,
1430Why rather sleepe liest thou in smoaky cribbes,
Vpon vneasie pallets stretching thee,
And husht with buzzing night-flies to thy slumber,
Then in the perfumde chambers of the great,
Vnder the canopies of costly state,
1435And lulld with sound of sweetest melody?
O thou dull god, why li'ste thou with the vile
In lothsome beds, and leauest the kingly couch,
A watch-case, or a common larum bell?
Wilt thou vpon the high and giddy masse,
1440Seale vp the ship-boies eies, and rocke his braines,
In cradle of the rude imperious surge,
And in the visitation of the winds,
Who take the ruffian pillowes by the top,
Curling their monstrous heads, and hanging them
1445VVith deaffing clamour in the slippery clouds,
That with the hurly death it selfe awakes?
Canst thou, ô partiall sleepe, giue them repose,
To the wet season in an howre so rude,
And in the calmest, and most stillest night,
1450VVith al appliances and meanes to boote,
Deny it to a King? then (happy) low lie downe,
Vneasie lies the head that weares a crowne.
Enter Warwike, Surry, and sir Iohn
1453.1
Blunt.
War. Many good morrowes to your maiestie.
1455King Is it good morrow lords?
War. Tis one a clocke, and past.
King VVhy then good morrow to you all my lords.
Haue you read ore the letter that I sent you?
War. VVe haue my liege.
1460King Then you perceiue the body of our kingdome,
How foule it is, what rancke diseases grow,
And with what danger neare the heart of it.
War. It is but as a body yet distempered,
VVhich to his former strength may be restored,
1465VVith good aduise and little medicine,
My Lord Northumberland wil soone be coold.
King O God that one might reade the booke of fate,
And see the reuolution of the times,
Make mountaines leuell, and the continent
1470Weary of solide firmenesse melt it selfe
Into the sea, and other times to see,
The beachie girdle of the ocean,
Too wide for Neptunes hips, how chances mockes,
And changes fill the cup of alteration,
1475With diuers liquors! O if this were seene,
1475.1The happiest youth viewing his progresse through,
What perills past, what crosses to ensue?
Would shut the booke and sit him downe and die:
Tis not ten yeeres gone,
Since Richard and Northumberland great friends,
Did feast togither, and in two yeare after,
Were they at warres: it is but eight yeares since,
This Percie was the man neerest my soule,
1480Who like a brother toyld in my affaires;
And laied his loue and life vnder my foote,
Yea for my sake, euen to the eyes of Richard,
Gaue him defyance: but which of you was by?
You cousen Neuel, (as I may remember)
1485When Richard with his eye-brimme full of teares,
Then checkt and rated by Northumberland,
Did speake these wordes now proou'd a prophecie:
Northumberland, thou ladder by the which
My cousen Bolingbrooke ascends my throne,
1490(Though then (God knowes) I had no such intent,
But that necessitie so bowed the state,
That I and greatnesse were compeld to kisse.)
The time shall come, thus did he follow it,
The time wil come, that foule sin gathering head,
1495Shall breake into corruption: so went on,
Fortelling this same times condition,
And the deuision of our amitie.
War. There is a historie in all mens liues,
Figuring the natures of the times deceast:
1500The which obseru'd, a man may prophecie,
With a neere ayme of the maine chance of things,
As yet not come to life, who in their seedes,
And weake beginning lie intreasured:
Such thinges become the hatch and broode of time,
1505And by the necessary forme of this,
King Richard might create a perfect guesse,
That great Northumberland then false to him,
Would of that seede growe to a greater falsenesse,
Which should not find a ground to roote vpon
1510Vnlesse on you.
King. Are these thinges then necessities,
Then let vs meet them like necessities,
And that same word euen now cries out on vs:
They say the Bishop and Northumberland,
1515Are fiftie thousand strong.
War. It cannot be my Lord,
Rumour doth double like the voice, and eccho
The numbers of the feared, please it your grace,
To go to bedde: vpon my soule, my Lord,
1520The Powers that you alreadie haue sent foorth,
Shall bring this prise in very easily:
To comfort you the more, I haue receiued,
A certain instance that Glendour is dead:
Your Maiestie hath beene this fortnight ill,
1525And these vnseasoned howers perforce must adde
Vnto your sicknesse.
King. I will take your counsaile,
And were these inward warres once out of hand,
We would (deare Lords) vnto the holy land.
exeunt
Enter Iustice Shallow, and Iustice
Silence.
Shallow Come on, come on, come on sir, giue me your
1535hand sir, giue me your hand sir, an early stirrer, by the Roode:
and how dooth my good cosin Silens?
Silence Good morrow good cosin Shallow.
Shallow And how dooth my coosin your bed-fellowe?
and your fayrest daughter and mine, my god-daughter El-
1540len?
Silens Alas, a blacke woosel, cosin Shallow.
Shallow By yea, and no sir: I dare saye my coosin Wil-
liam is become a good scholler, he is at Oxford still, is hee
not?
1545Silens Indeede sir to my cost.
Shallow A must then to the Innes a court shortly: I was
once of Clements Inne, where I thinke they will talke of mad
Shallow yet.
Silens You were cald Lusty Shallow then, cosin.
1550Shallow By the masse I was cald any thing, and I would
haue done any thing indeed too, and roundly too: there was
I, and little Iohn Doyt of Stafford-shire, and Blacke George
Barnes, and Francis Picke-bone, and Will Squele a Cotsole
man, you had not foure such swinge-bucklers in al the Innes
1555a court againe: and I may say to you, we knew where the bona
robes were, and had the best of them all at commaundement:
then was Iacke Falstaffe (now sir Iohn) a boy, and Page to
Thomas Mowbray duke of Norffolke.
1560Silens Coosin, this sir Iohn that comes hither anone about
souldiers?
Shall. The same (sir Iohn) the very same, I see him breake
Skoggins head at the Court gate, when a was a Cracke, not
thus high: and the very same day did I fight with one Samson
1565Stockefish a Fruiterer behinde Greyes Inne: Iesu, Iesu, the
mad dayes that I haue spent! and to see how many of my olde
acquaintance are dead.
Silens We shall all follow, coosin.
Shal. Certaine, tis certaine, very sure, very sure, death (as the
1570Psalmist saith) is certaine to all, all shall die. How a good yoke
of bullockes at Samforth faire?
Silens By my troth I was not there.
Shal. Death is certaine: Is olde Dooble of your towne li-
uing yet?
1575Silens Dead sir.
Shal. Iesu, Iesu, dead! a drew a good bow, and dead? a shot
a fine shoote: Iohn a Gaunt loued him well, and betted much
money on his head. Dead! a would haue clapt ith clowt at
twelue score, and caried you a forehand shaft a foureteene and
1580foureteene and a halfe, that it would haue doone a mans heart
good to see. How a score of Ewes now?
Silens Thereafter as they be, a score of good Ewes may be
worth tenne pounds.
1585Shal. And is olde Dooble dead?
Silens Heere come twoo of sir Iohn Falstaffes men, as I
thinke.
Enter Bardolfe, and one with him.
Good morrow honest gentlemen.
1590Bard. I beseech you, which is Iustice Shallow?
Shall. I am Robert Shallow sir, a poore Esquire of this
Countie, and one of the Kings Iustices of the Peace: what is
your pleasure with me?
Bard. My Captaine, sir, commends him to you, my Cap-
1595taine sir Iohn Falstaffe, a tall gentleman, by heauen, and a most
gallant Leader.
Shall. He greets me wel, sir, I knew him a good backsword
man: how doth the good knight? may I aske how my Ladie
his wife doth?
1600Bar. Sir, pardon, a souldiour is better accommodate than
with a wife.
Shallow It is well sayde in faith sir, and it is well sayde in-
deede too, better accommodated, it is good, yea in deede is
it, good phrases, are surely, and euer were, very commenda-
1605ble, accommodated: it comes of accommodo, very good, a
good phrase.
Bardolfe Pardon me sir, I haue heard the worde, phrase
call you it? by this good day, I knowe not the phrase, but
I will mayntayne the worde with my sworde, to bee a soul-
1610diour-like word, and a worde of exceeding good command,
by heauen: accommodated, that is, when a man is, as they
say, accommodated, or when a man is, beeing whereby, a
may be thought to be accommodated, which is an excellent
thing.
1615
Enter sir Iohn Falstaffe.
Iust. It is very iust: looke, here comes good sir Iohn, giue
me your good hand, giue mee your worshippes good hand,
by my troth you like well, and beare your yeeres very well,
welcome good sir Iohn.
1620Fal. I am glad to see you well, good maister Robert Shal-
low, maister Soccard (as I thinke.)
Shal. No sir Iohn, it is my coosin Silens, in commission with
me.
Falst. Good maister Silens, it well befits you should be of
1625the Peace.
Silens Your good worship is welcome.
Falst. Fie, this is hot weather (gentlemen) haue you proui-
ded me heere halfe a dozen sufficient men?
Shal. Mary haue we sir, will you sit?
1630Falst. Let me see them I beseech you.
Shall. Wheres the rowle? wheres the rowle? wheres the
rowle? let me see, let me see, so, so, so, so, so (so, so) yea mary sir,
Rafe Mouldy, let them appeere as I call, let them do so, let thēm
do so, let me see, where is Mouldy?
Mouldy Here and it please you.
Sha. What think you sir Iohn, a good limbd fellow, yong,
strong, and of good friends.
Fal. Is thy name Mouldie?
1640Moul. Yea, and't please you.
Fal. Tis the more time thou wert vsde.
Shal. Ha, ha, ha, most excellent yfaith, things that are moul-
dy lacke vse: very singular good, infaith well said sir Iohn, very
well said.
Iohn prickes him.
Moul. I was prickt wel enough before, and you could haue
let me alone, my old dame will be vndone now for one to doe
her husbandrie, and her drudgery, you need not to haue prickt
me, there are other men fitter to go out then I.
Fal. Go to, peace Mouldy, you shall go, Mouldy it is time
you were spent.
Moul. Spent?
Shal. Peace fellow, peace, stand aside, know you where you
1655are? for th'other sir Iohn: let me see Simon Shadow.
Fal. Yea mary, let me haue him to sit vnder, hees like to be
a cold soldiour.
Shal. Wheres Shadow?
1660Shad. Here sir.
Fal. Shadow, whose sonne art thou?
Shad. My mothers sonne sir.
Fal. Thy mothers sonne! like enough, and thy fathers sha-
dow, so the sonne of the female is the shadow of the male: it is
1665often so indeede, but much of the fathers substance.
Shal. Do you like him sir Iohn?
Fal. Shadow wil serue for summer, pricke him, for we haue
a number of shadowes, fill vp the muster booke.
Shal. Thomas Wart.
Fal. Wheres he?
Wart Here sir.
Fal. Is thy name Wart?
1675Wart Yea sir.
Fal. Thou art a very ragged wart.
Shal. Shall I pricke him sir Iohn?
Fal. It were superfluous, for apparell is built vpon his back,
1680and the whole frame stands vpon pins, pricke him no more.
Shal. Ha, ha, ha, you can do it sir, you can do it, I commend
you well: Francis Feeble.
1685Feeble Here sir.
Shal. What trade art thou Feeble?
Feeble A womans tailer sir.
Shal. Shall I pricke him sir?
Fal. You may, but if he had bin a mans tailer hee'd a prickt
you: wilt thou make as manie holes in an enemies battaile, as
thou hast done in a womans peticoate.
Feeble I will do my good will sir, you can haue no more.
1695Fal. Well saide good womans tailer, well saide couragious
Feeble, thou wilt be as valiant as the wrathfull doue, or most
magnanimous mouse, pricke the womans tailer: wel M. Shal-
low, deepe M. Shallow.
1700Feeble I would Wart might haue gone sir.
Fal. I would thou wert a mans tailer, that thou mightst
mend him and make him fit to goe, I cannot put him to a pri-
uate souldier, that is the leader of so many thousands, let that
suffice most forcible Feeble.
1705Feeble It shall suffice sir.
Fal. I am bound to thee reuerend Feeble, who is next?
Shal. Peter Bul-calfe o'th greene.
Fal. Yea mary, lets see Bul-calfe.
1710Bul. Here sir.
Eal. Fore God a likely fellow, come pricke Bul-calfe til hee
Bul. O Lord, good my lord captaine.
Falst. What, dost thou roare before thou art prickt?
1715Bul. O Lord sir, I am a diseased man.
Fal. What disease hast thou?
Bul. A horson cold sir, a cough sir, which I cought with
ringing in the Kings affaires vpon his coronation day sir.
1720Fal. Come, thou shalt go to the warres in a gowne, we wil
haue away thy cold, and I wil take such order that thy friendes
shal ring for thee. Is here all?
Shal. Here is two more cald then your number, you must
haue but foure here sir, and so I pray you goe in with mee to
1725dinner.
Fa. Come, I wil go drink with you, but I cānnot tary dinner:
I am glad to see you, by my troth master Shallow.
Shal. O sir Iohn, do you remember since we lay all night
1730in the windmil in saint Georges field?
Fal. No more of that master Shallow.
Shal. Ha, twas a merry night, and is Iane Night-worke a-
liue?
1735Falst. She liues master Shallow.
Shal. She neuer could away with me.
Fa. Neuer neuer, she wold alwaies say, she could not abide
master Shallow.
Sha. By the masse I conld anger her too'th heart, she was
1740then a bona roba, doth she hold her owne wel?
Fal. Old old master Shallow.
Shal. Nay she must be old, she cannot chuse but be old, cer-
tain shees old, & had Robin Night-work by old Night-work,
before I came to Clements inne.
1745Scilens Thats fiftie fiue yeare ago.
Shal. Ha cousen Scilens that thou hadst seene that that this
Knight and I haue seene, ha sir Iohn, said I wel?
Fal. We haue heard the chimes at midnight M. Shallow.
Sha. That we haue, that we haue, that we haue, in faith sir
Iohn we haue, our watch-worde was Hemboies, come lets to
dinner, come lets to dinner, Iesus the daies that wee haue seene,
come, come.
exeunt.
1755Bul. Good maister corporate Bardolfe, stand my friend,
& heres foure Harry tenshillings in french crowns for you, in
very truth sir, I had as liue be hangd sir as go, and yet for mine
owne part sir I do not care, but rather because I am vnwilling,
and for mine owne part haue a desire to stay with my friends,
1760else sir I did not care for mine owne part so much.
Bard. Go to, stand aside.
Moul. And good M. corporall captaine, for my old dames
sake stand my friend, she has no body to doe any thing about
1765her when I am gone, and she is old and cannot helpe her selfe,
you shall haue forty sir.
Bar. Go to, stand aside.
Feeble By my troth I care not, a man can die but once, we
owe God a death, ile nere beare a base mind, and't bee my
1770destny: so, and't be not, so, no man's too good to serue's prince,
and let it go which way it will, he that dies this yeere is quit for
the next.
Bar Well said, th'art a good fellow.
Feeble Faith ile beare no base mind.
1774.1
Enter Falstaffe and the Iustices.
1775Fal. Come sir, which men shall I haue?
Shal. Foure of which you please.
Bar Sir, a word with you, I haue three pound to free Moul-
dy and Bulcalfe.
Fal. Go to, well.
1780Shal. Come sir Iohn, which foure wil you haue?
Fal. Do you chuse for me.
Shal. Mary then, Mouldy, Bulcalfe, Feeble, and Sadow.
Fal. Mouldy and Bulcalfe, for you Mouldy stay at home, til
1785you are past seruice: and for your part Bulcalfe, grow til you
come vnto it, I will none of you.
Shal. Sir Iohn, sir Iohn, doe not your selfe wrong, they are
your likeliest men, and I would haue you serude with the
best.
1790Fal. Wil you tel me (master Shallow) how to chuse a man?
care I for the limbe, the thewes, the stature, bulke and big as-
semblance of a man: giue me the spirit M. Shalow: heres Wart,
you see what a ragged apparance it is, a shall charge you, and
1795discharge you with the motion of a pewterers hammer, come
off and on swifter then he that gibbets on the brewers bucket:
and this same halfe facde fellow Shadow, giue me this man, he
presents no marke to the enemy, the fo-man may with as great
aime leuel at the edge of a pen-knife, and for a retraite how
1800swiftly wil this Feeble the womans Tailer runne off? O giue
mee the spare men, and spare me the great ones, putte mee a
caliuer into Warts hand Bardolfe.
Bar. Hold Wart, trauers thas, thas, thas.
1805Fal. Come mannage me your caliuer: so, very wel, go to, very
good, exceeding good, O giue me alwaies a little leane, olde
chopt Ballde, shot: well said yfaith Wart, th'art a good scab,
hold, theres a tester for thee.
Shal. He is not his crafts-master, he doth not do it right; I
1810remember at Mile-end-greene, when I lay at Clements Inne,
I was then sir Dagonet in Arthurs show, there was a little
quiuer fellow, and a would mannage you his peece thus, and a
would about and about, and come you in, and come you in,
1815rah, tah, tah, would a say, bounce would a say, and away again
would a go, and againe would a come: I shall nere see such a
fellow.
Fal. These fellowes wooll doe well M. Shallow, God keep
you M. Scilens, I will not vse many words with you, fare you
1820wel gentlemen both, I thank you, I must a dosen mile to night:
Bardolfe, giue the souldiers coates.
Shal. Sir Iohn, the Lord blesse you, God prosper your af-
faires, God send vs peace at your returne, visit our house, let
1825our old acquaintance be renewed, peraduenture I will with ye
to the court.
Fal. Fore God would you would.
Shal. Go to, I haue spoke at a word, God keep you.
1830Fal. Fare you well gentle gentlemen.
exit
Shal. On Bardolfe, leade the men away, as I returne I will
fetch off these iustices, I do see the bottome of iustice Shallow,
Lord, Lord, how subiect we old men are to this vice of lying,
this same staru'd iustice hath done nothing but prate to me,
1835of the wildnesse of his youth, and the feates he hath done a-
bout Turne-bull street, and euery third word a lie, dewer paid
to the hearer then the Turkes tribute, I doe remember him
at Clements Inne, like a man made after supper of a cheese pa-
ring, when a was naked, he was for all the worlde like a forkt
reddish, with a head fantastically carued vpon it with a knife,
a was so forlorne, that his demensions to any thicke sight were
inuincible, a was the very genius of famine, yet lecherous as a
1843.1monkie, & the whores cald him mandrake, a came ouer in the
rereward of the fashion, and sung those tunes to the ouer-
1844.1schutcht huswiues, that he heard the Car-men whistle, and
sware they were his fancies or his good-nights, and nowe is
1845this vices dagger become a squire, and talkes as familiarly of
Iohn a Gaunt, as if he had bin sworne brother to him, and
ile be sworn a nere saw him but once in the tylt-yard, and then
he burst his head for crowding among the Marshalles men, I
1850saw it and told Iohn a Gaunt he beate his owne name, for you
might haue thrust him and all his aparell into an eele-skin, the
case of a treble hoboy was a mansion for him a Court, and
now has he land and beefes. Well, ile be acquainted with him
1855if I returne, and t'shal go hard, but ile make him a philosophers
two stones to me, if the yong Dase be a baite for the old Pike,
I see no reason in the law of nature but I may snap at him, till
Time shape, and there an end.
Enter the Archbishop, Mowbray, Bardolfe, Hastings, within
1861.1
the forrest of Gaultree.
Bish. What is this forrest calld?
Hast. Tis Gaultree forrest, and't shal please your grace.
Bishop Here stand, my lords, and send discouerers forth,
To know the numbers of our enemies:
Hastings We haue sent forth already.
Bishop Tis well done,
1870My friends and brethren (in these great affaires)
I must acquaint you, that I haue receiu'd
New dated letters from Northumberland,
Their cold intent, tenure, and substance thus:
Here doth he wish his person, with such powers,
1875As might hold sortance with his quallitie,
The which he could not leuy: whereupon
He is retirde to ripe his growing fortunes,
To Scotland, and concludes in hearty prayers,
That your attempts may ouer-liue the hazard
1880And fearefull meeting of their opposite.
Mowb. Thus do the hopes we haue in him, touch ground,
And dash themselues to peeces.
Enter messenger
Hastings Now, what newes?
1885Messenger West of this forrest, scarcely off a mile,
In goodly forme comes on the enemy,
And by the ground they hide, I iudge their number
Vpon, or neere the rate of thirty thousand.
Mowbray The iust proportion that we gaue them out,
1890Let vs sway on, and face them in the field.
Bishop What wel appointed Leader fronts vs heere?
Enter Westmerland
Mowbray I thinke it is my lord of Westmerland.
West. Health and faire greeting from our Generall,
1895The prince lord Iohn and duke of Lancaster.
Bishop Say on my lord of VVestmerland in peace,
VVhat doth concerne your comming?
We. Then my L. vnto your Grace do I in chiefe addresse
1900The substance of my speech: if that rebellion
Came like it selfe, in base and abiect rowtes,
Led on by bloody youth, guarded with rage,
And countenaunst by boyes and beggary.
I say, if damnd commotion so appeare,
1905In his true, natiue, and most proper shape,
You, reuerend father, and these noble Lordes,
Had not beene heere to dresse the owgly forme
Of base and bloody Insurrection
With your faire Honours. You (lord Archbishop)
1910Whose Sea is by a ciuile peace maintainde,
Whose beard the siluer hand of Peace hath toucht,
Whose learning and good letters Peace hath tutord,
Whose white inuestments figure innocence,
The Doue, and very blessed spirite of peace.
1915Wherefore do you so ill translate your selfe
Out of the speech of peace that beares such grace,
Into the harsh and boystrous tongue of warre?
Turning your bookes to graues, your incke to bloud,
Your pennes to launces, and your tongue diuine,
1920To a lowd trumpet, and a point of warre?
Bish. Wherefore do I this? so the question stands:
Briefly, to this end we are all diseasde:
The dangers of the daie's but newly gone,
VVhose memorie is written on the earth,
1950VVith yet appearing blood, and the examples
Of euery minutes instance (present now,)
Hath put vs in these ill-beseeming armes,
Not to breake peace, or any braunch of it,
But to establish heere a peace indeede,
1955Concurring both in name and quallitie.
West. VVhen euer yet was your appeale denied
VVherein haue you beene galled by the King?
What peere hath beene subornde to grate on you?
That you should seale this lawlesse bloody booke
1960Of forgde rebellion with a seale diuine,
1960.1And consecrate commotions bitter edge.
Bishop My brother Generall, the common wealth
1961.1To brother borne an houshold cruelty,
I make my quarrell in particular.
West. There is no neede of any such redresse,
Or if there were, it not belongs to you.
1965Mowbray why not to him in part, and to vs all
That feele the bruises of the daies before?
And suffer the condition of these times,
To lay a heauy and vnequall hand
Vpon our honors.
West. But this is meere digression from my purpose.
Here come I from our princely generall,
To know your griefes, to tell you from his Grace,
That he will giue you audience, and wherein
2010It shall appeere that your demaunds are iust,
You shall enioy them, euery thing set off
That might so much as thinke you enemies.
Mowbray But he hath forcde vs to compel this offer,
And it proceedes from policie, not loue.
2015West. Mowbray, you ouerweene to take it so:
This offer comes from mercy, not from feare:
For loe, within a ken our army lies:
Vpon mine honour, all too confident
To giue admittance to a thought of feare:
2020Our battell is more full of names than yours,
Our men more perfect in the vse of armes,
Our armour all as strong, our cause the best:
Then Reason will our hearts should be as good:
Say you not then, our offer is compelld.
2025Mow. Well, by my will, we shall admit no parlee.
West. That argues but the shame of your offence,
A rotten case abides no handling.
Hastings Hath the prince Iohn a full commission,
In very ample vertue of his father,
2030To heare, and absolutely to determine
Of what conditions we shall stand vpon?
West. That is intended in the Generalles name,
I muse you make so slight a question.
Bishop Then take, my lord of Westmerland, this scedule,
2035For this containes our generall grieuances,
Each seuerall article herein redrest.
All members of our cause both here and hence,
That are ensinewed to this action,
Acquitted by a true substantiall forme,
2040And present execution of our willes,
To vs and our purposes confinde,
We come within our awefull bancks againe,
And knit our powers to the arme of peace.
West. This will I shew the Generall, please you Lords,
2045In sight of both our battells we may meete,
At either end in peace, which God so frame,
Or to the place of diffrence call the swords,
Which must decide it.
Exit Westmerland
Bishop My lord, we will doe so.
2050Mou There is a thing within my bosome tells me
That no conditions of our peace can stand.
Hastings Feare you not, that if we can make our peace,
Vpon such large termes, and so absolute,
As our conditions shall consist vpon,
2055Our peace shall stand as firme as rockie mountaines.
Moub. Yea but our valuation shal be such,
That euery slight, and false deriued cause,
Yea euery idle, nice, and wanton reason,
Shall to the King taste of this action,
2060That were our royal faiths martires in loue,
We shall be winow'd with so rough a wind,
That euen our corne shal seeme as light as chaffe,
And good from bad find no partition.
Bish. No, no, my lord, note this, the King is weary
2065Of daintie and such picking greeuances,
For he hath found, to end one doubt by death,
Reuiues two greater in the heires of life:
And therefore will he wipe his tables cleane,
And keepe no tel-tale to his memorie,
2070That may repeate, and history his losse,
To new remembrance: for full wel he knowes,
He cannot so precisely weed this land,
As his misdoubts present occasion,
His foes are so enrooted with his friends,
2075That plucking to vnfix an enemy,
He doth vnfasten so, and shake a friend,
So that this land, like an offensiue wife,
That hath enragde him on to offer strokes,
As he is striking, holdes his infant vp,
2080And hangs resolu'd correction in the arme,
That was vpreard to execution.
Hast. Besides, the King hath wasted al his rods,
On late offendors, that he now doth lacke
The very instruments of chasticement,
2085So that his power, like to a phanglesse lion,
May offer, but not hold.
Bishop Tis very true,
And therefore be assurde, my good Lord Marshall,
If we do now make our attonement well,
2090Our peace wil like a broken limbe vnited,
Grow stronger for the breaking.
Mow. Be it so, here is returnd my lord of Westmerland.
Enter Westmerland.
2095West. The prince is here at hand, pleaseth your Lordship
To meet his grace iust distance tweene our armies.
2100
Enter Prince Iohn and his armie.
Mow. Your grace of York, in Gods name then set forward.
Bishop. Before, and greete his grace (my lord) we come.
Iohn You are well incountred here, my cousen Mowbray,
Good day to you, gentle Lord Archbishop,
And so to you Lord Hastings, and to all.
My Lord of Yorke, it better shewed with you,
2105When that your flocke assembled by the bell,
Encircled you, to heare with reuerence,
Your exposition on the holy text,
That now to see you here, an yron man talking,
Cheering a rowt of rebells with your drumme,
2110Turning the word to sword, and life to death.
That man that sits within a monarches heart,
And ripens in the sun-shine of his fauor,
Would he abuse the countenance of the King:
Alacke what mischeefes might he set abroach,
2115In shadow of such greatnesse? with you Lord bishop
It is euen so, who hath not heard it spoken,
How deepe you were within the bookes of God,
To vs the speaker in his parliament,
To vs th'imagine voice of God himselfe,
2120The very opener and intelligencer,
Betweene the grace, the sanctities of heauen,
And our dull workings? O who shal beleeue,
But you misuse the reuerence of your place,
Imply the countenance and grace of heau'n,
2125As a false fauorite doth his princes name:
In deedes dishonorable you haue tane vp,
Vnder the counterfeited zeale of God,
The subiects of his substitute my father,
And both against the peace of heauen and him,
2130Haue here vpswarmd them.
Bishop Good my Lord of Lancaster,
I am not here against your fathers peace,
But as I told my lord of Westmerland,
The time misordred doth in common sense,
2135Crowd vs and crush vs to this monstrous forme,
To hold our safety vp: I sent your grace,
The parcells and particulars of our griefe,
The which hath beene with scorne shoued from the court,
Whereon this Hidra, sonne of warre is borne,
2140Whose dangerous eies may well be charmd asleepe,
With graunt of our most iust, and right desires,
And true obedience of this madnes cured,
Stoope tamely to the foote of maiestie.
Mow. If not, we ready are to trie our fortunes,
2145To the last man.
Hast. And though we here fal downe,
We haue supplies to second our attempt,
If they miscarry, theirs shal second them,
And so successe of mischiefe shall be borne,
2150And heire from heire shall hold his quarrell vp,
Whiles England shall haue generation.
Prince You are too shallow Hastings, much too shallow,
To sound the bottome of the after times.
2155West. Pleaseth your grace to answere them directly,
How far forth you do like their articles.
Prince I like them all, and do allow them well,
And sweare here by the honour of my bloud,
My fathers purposes haue beene mistooke,
2160And some about him haue too lauishly,
Wrested his meaning and authority.
My Lord, these griefes shall be with speed redrest,
Vppon my soule they shal, if this may please you,
Discharge your powers vnto their seuerall counties,
2165As we will ours, and here betweene the armies,
Lets drinke together friendly and embrace,
That all their eies may beare those tokens home,
Of our restored loue and amitie.
Bishop I take your princely word for these redresses,
2170I giue it you, and will maintaine my word,
And therevpon I drinke vnto your grace.
Prince Go Captaine, and deliuer to the armie
This newes of peace, let them haue pay, and part.
I know it will well please them, hie thee captaine.
Bishop To you my noble lord of Westmerland.
West. I pledge your grace, and if you knew what paines,
I haue bestowed to breed this present peace,
2180You would drinke freely, but my loue to ye
Shall shew it selfe more openly hereafter.
Bishop I do not doubt you.
West. I am glad of it,
Health to my Lord, and gentle cosin Mowbray.
2185Mow. You wish me health in very happy season,
For I am on the sodaine something ill.
Bishop Against ill chaunces men are euer mery,
But heauinesse fore-runnes the good euent.
West. Therefore be mery coze, since sodaine sorrow
2190Serues to say thus, some good thing comes to morow.
Bishop Beleeue me I am passing light in spirit.
Mow. So much the worse if your owne rule be true.
shout.
Prin. The word of peace is rendred, heark how they showt.
2195Mow. This had bin cheerefull after victory.
Bishop A peace is of the nature of a conquest,
For then both parties nobly are subdued,
And neither party looser.
Prince Go my lord,
2200And let our army be discharged too,
And, good my lord, so please you, let our traines
March by vs, that we may peruse the men,
VVe should haue coap't withall.
Bishop Go, good Lord Hastings,
2205And ere they be dismist, let them march by.
enter Westmerland.
Prince I trust Lords we shal lie to night togither:
Now coosin, wherefore stands our army stil?
West. The Leaders hauing charge from you to stand,
2210Wil not goe off vntil they heare you speake.
Prince They know their dueties.
enter Hastings
Hastings My lord, our army is disperst already,
Like youthfull steeres vnyoakt they take their courses,
East, weast, north, south, or like a schoole broke vp,
2215Each hurries toward his home, and sporting place.
West. Good tidings my lord Hastings, for the which
I do arest thee traitor of high treason,
And you lord Archbishop, and you lord Mowbray,
Of capitall treason I attach you both.
2220Mowbray Is this proceeding iust and honorable?
West. Is your assembly so?
Bishop will you thus breake your faith?
Prince I pawnde thee none,
I promist you redresse of these same grieuances
2225Whereof you did complaine, which by mine honour
I will performe, with a most christian care.
But for you rebels, looke to taste the due
Meete for rebellion:
Most shallowly did you these armes commence,
2230Fondly brought heere, and foolishly sent hence.
Strike vp our drummes, pursue the scattred stray:
God, and not we, hath safely fought to day:
Some guard this traitour to the blocke of death,
Treasons true bed, and yeelder vp of breath.
2235Alarum
Enter Falstaffe
excursions
Fal. whats your name sir, of what condition are you, and
of what place?
Cole. I am a Knight sir, and my name is Coleuile of the
Dale.
2240Fal. well then, Colleuile is your name, a Knight is your de-
gree, and your place the dale: Coleuile shalbe still your name,
a traitor your degree, & the dungeon your place, a place deep
enough, so shall you be stil Colleuile of the Dale.
2245Colle. Are not you sir Iohn Falstaffe?
Fal. As good a man as he sir, who ere I am: doe ye yeelde
sir, or shall I sweat for you? if I doe sweate, they are the drops
of thy louers, and they weepe for thy death, therefore rowze
vp feare and trembling, and do obseruance to my mercie.
Colle. I think you are sir Iohn Falstaffe, and in that thought
yeelde me.
Fal. I haue a whole school of tongues in this belly of mine,
and not a tongue of them all speakes any other word but my
2255name, and I had but a belly of any indifferencie, I were simply
the most actiue fellow in Europe: my womb, my wombe, my
womb vndoes me, heere comes our Generall.
Enter Iohn Westmerland, and the rest.
Retraite
2260Iohn The heate is past, follow no further now,
Call in the powers good coosin Westmerland.
Now Falstaffe, where haue you beene all this while?
VVhen euery thing is ended, then you come:
These tardy trickes of yours wil on my life
2265One time or other breake some gallowes backe.
Fal. I would bee sory my lord, but it shoulde bee thus: I
neuer knew yet but Rebuke and Checke, was the rewarde of
Valor: do you thinke me a swallow, an arrow, or a bullet? haue
I in my poore and old motion the expedition of thought? I
2270haue speeded hither with the very extreamest inch of possibi-
lity, I haue foundred ninescore and od postes, and here trauell
tainted as I am, haue in my pure and immaculate valour, ta-
ken sir Iohn Colleuile of the Dale, a most furious Knight and
2275valorous enemy,: but what of that? he sawe me, and yeelded,
that I may iustly say with the hooke-nosde fellow of Rome,
there cosin, I came, saw, and ouercame.
Iohn It was more of his curtesie then your deseruing.
2280Falst. I know not, here he is, and here I yeeld him, and I
beseech your grace let it be bookte with the rest of this daies
deedes, or by the Lord, I wil haue it in a particular ballad else,
with mine owne picture on the top on't, (Coleuile kissing my
foote) to the which course, if I bee enforst, if you doe not all
2285shew like guilt twoo pences to mee, and I in the cleere skie of
Fame, ore-shine you as much as the full moone doth the cin-
dars of the element, (which shew like pinnes heads to her) be-
leeue not the worde of the noble: therefore let me haue right,
2290and let Desert mount.
Prince Thine's too heauy to mount.
Falst. Let it shine then.
Prince Thines too thicke to shine.
Falst. Let it do some thing, my good lord, that may doe me
2295good, and call it what you will.
Prince Is thy name Colleuile?
Col. It is my Lord.
Prince A famous rebell art thou Colleuile.
Falst. And a famous true subiect tooke him.
2300Col. I am my lord but as my betters are,
That led me hither, had they bin rulde by me,
You should haue wonne them deerer then you haue.
Fal. I know not how they sold themselues, but thou like a
kind fellow gauest thy selfe away gratis, and I thanke thee for
2305thee.
enter Westmerland.
Prince Now, haue you left pursuit?
West. Retraite is made, and execution stayd.
Prince Send Colleuile with his confederates
2310To Yorke to present execution,
Blunt leade him hence, and see you guard him sure.
And now dispatch we toward the court my lordes,
I heare the King my father is sore sick,
2315Our newes shall go before vs to his maiestie,
Which cosin you shall beare to comfort him,
And we with sober speede will follow you.
Falst. My Lord, I beseech you giue me leaue to go through
Glostershire, and when you come to court, stand my good lord
2320in your good report.
Prince Fare you wel Falstaffe, I, in my condition, shal better
speake of you then you deserue.
Fal. I would you had the wit, twere better than your duke-
dome, good faith this same yong sober blouded boy doth not
2325loue me, nor a mān cānnot make him laugh, but thats no maruel,
he drinkes no wine, theres neuer none of these demure boyes
come to any proofe, for thin drinke doth so ouer-coole theyr
blood, and making many fish meales, that they fall into a kind
2330of male greene sicknes, and then when they marry, they gette
wenches, they are generally fooles and cowards, which some
of vs should be too, but for inflammation: a good sherris sacke
hath a two fold operation in it, it ascendes mee into the braine,
dries me there all the foolish, and dull, and crudy vapors which
enuirone it, makes it apprehensiue, quicke, forgetiue, full of
nimble, fiery, and delectable shapes, which deliuered ore to
the voyce, the tongue, which is the birth, becomes excellent
wit. The second property of your excellent sherris, is the war-
2340ming of the blood, which before (cold & setled,) left the lyuer
white & pale, which is the badge of pusilanimitie and cowar-
dize: but the sherris warmes it, and makes it course from the
inwards to the partes extreames, it illumineth the face, which
2345as a beakon, giues warning to al the rest of this little kingdom
man to arme, and then the vitall commoners, and inland petty
spirits, muster me all to their captaine, the heart: who great, and
pufft vp with this retinew, doth any deed of courage: and this
2350valour comes of sherris, so that skill in the weapon is nothing
without sacke (for that sets it aworke) and learning a meere
whoord of gold kept by a diuell, till sacke commences it, and
sets it in act and vse. Hereof comes it, that Prince Harry is
valiant, for the cold blood he did naturally inherite of his fa-
2355ther, he hath like leane, sterile, and bare land, manured, hus-
banded and tilld, with excellent endeuour of drinking good
and good store of fertile sherris, that he is become very hote
and valiant. If I had a thousand sonnes, the first humane prin-
2360ciple I would teach them, should be, to forsweare thin potati-
ons, and to addict themselues to sacke. How now Bardolfe?
2361.1
Enter Bardolfe.
Bar. The army is discharged all, and gone.
Fal. Let them goe, ile through Glostershire, and there will
2365I visit M. Robert Shallow Esquire, I haue him already tem-
pring betweene my finger and my thumb, and shortly will I
seale with him, come away.
2370
Enter the King, Warwike, Kent, Thomas duke of Clarence,
Humphrey of Gloucester.
King Now lords, if God doth giue successefull end,
To this debate that bleedeth at our doores,
We will our youth leade on to higher fields,
And draw no swords but what are sanctified:
2375Our nauie is addrest, our power collected,
Our substitutes in absence wel inuested,
And euery thing lies leuell to our wish,
Only we want a little personal strength:
And pawse vs til these rebels now afoote,
2380Come vnderneath the yoke of gouernment.
War. Both which we doubt not, but your maiesty
Shal soone enioy.
King Humphrey my sonne of Gloster, where is the prince
your brother?
2385Glo. I thinke hees gone to hunt, my lord, at Winsor.
King And how accompanied?
Glo. I do not know, my lord.
King Is not his brother Thomas of Clarence with him?
Glo. No, my good lord, he is in presence here.
Clar. What would my lord and father?
Kin Nothing but well to thee Thomas of Clarence,
How chance thou art not with the prince thy brother?
2395He loues thee, and thou dost neglect him, Thomas,
Thou hast a better place in his affection
Then all thy brothers, cherrish it my boy:
And noble offices thou maist effect
Of mediation after I am dead,
2400Betweene his greatnesse and thy other brethren:
Therefore omit him not, blunt not his loue,
Nor loose the good aduantage of his grace,
By seeming cold, or carelesse of his will,
For he is gracious if he be obseru'de,
2405He hath a teare for pittie, and a hand,
Open as day for meeting charitie,
Yet notwithstanding being incenst, he is flint,
As humorous as winter, and as sodaine
As flawes congealed in the spring of day:
2410His temper therefore must be well obseru'd,
Chide him for faults, and do it reuerently,
When you perceiue his bloud inclind to mirth:
But being moody, giue him time and scope,
Till that his passions, like a whale on ground
2415Confound themselues with working, learne this Thomas,
And thou shalt proue a shelter to thy friends,
A hoope of gold to binde thy brothers in,
That the vnited vessell of their bloud,
(Mingled with venome of suggestion,
2420As force perforce, the age will powre it in,)
Shall neuer leake, though it doe worke as strong,
As Aconitum, or rash gunpowder.
Cla. I shall obserue him with all care and loue.
King Why art thou not at Winsore with him Thomas?
Tho. He is not there to day, he dines in London.
King And how accompanied?
2430Tho. With Poines, and other his continuall followers.
King Most subiect is the fattest soyle to weeds,
And he, the noble image of my youth,
Is ouerspread with them, therefore my griefe
2435Stretches it selfe beyond the howre of death:
The bloud weepes from my heart when I do shape,
In formes imaginary, th'unguyded daies,
And rotten times that you shall looke vpon,
When I am sleeping with my auncestors:
2440For when his head-strong riot hath no curbe,
VVhen rage and hot bloud are his counsellors,
VVhen meanes and lauish manners meete together,
Oh with what wings shal his affections flie,
Towards fronting peril and opposde decay?
2445War. My gracious Lord, you looke beyond him quite,
The prince but studies his companions,
Like a strange tongue wherein to gaine the language:
Tis needfnll that the most immodest word,
Be lookt vpon and learnt, which once attaind,
2450Your highnesse knowes comes to no further vse,
But to be knowne and hated: so, like grosse termes,
The prince will in the perfectnesse of time,
Cast off his followers, and their memory
Shall as a pattern, or a measure liue,
2455By which his grace must mete the liues of other,
Turning past-euils to aduantages.
King Tis seldome when the bee doth leaue her comb,
In the dead carion: who's here, Westmerland?
Enter Westmerland.
West. Health to my soueraigne, and new happinesse
Added to that that I am to deliuer,
Prince Iohn your sonne doth kisse your graces hand.
Mowbray, the Bishop, Scroope, Hastings, and al,
2465Are brought to the correction of your law:
There is not now a rebels sword vnsheathd,
But Peace puts forth her oliue euery where,
The manner how this action hath bin borne,
Here at more leisure may your highnesse reade,
2470With euery course in his particular.
King O Westmerland, thou art a summer bird,
VVhich euer in the haunch of winter sings
The lifting vp of day: looke heres more newes.
enter Harcor.
Harc. From enemies, heauens keep your maiesty,
And when they stand against you, may they fall
As those that I am come to tell you of:
The Earle Northumberland, and the Lord Bardolfe,
2480With a great power of English, and of Scots,
Are by the shrieue of Yorkshire ouerthrowne,
The manner, and true order of the fight,
This packet, please it you, containes at large,
Ki. And wherfore should these good news make me sicke?
Will Fortune neuer come with both hands full.
But wet her faire words stil in foulest termes?
She either giues a stomach, and no foode,
Such are the poore in health: or else a feast,
2490And takes away the stomach, such are the rich
That haue aboundance, and enioy it not:
I should reioyce now at this happy newes,
And now my sight failes, and my braine is giddy,
O me, come neare me, now I am much ill.
2495Hum. Comfort your maiesty.
Clar. O my royall father!
West. My soueraigne Lord, cheere vp your selfe, look vp.
War. Be patient princes, you do know these fits
2500Are with his highnesse very ordinary.
Stand from him, giue him ayre, heel straight be wel.
Clar. No, no, he cannot long hold out these pangs,
Th'incessant care and labour of his mind,
2505Hath wrought the Mure that should confine it in,
So thin that life lookes through.
Hum. The people feare me, for they do obserue
Vnfather'd heires, and lothly births of nature,
The seasons change their manners, as the yeere
2510Had found some moneths a sleepe, and leapt them ouer.
Clar. The riuer hath thrice flowed, no ebbe between,
And the old folk, (Times doting chronicles,)
Say, it did so a little time before
That our great grandsire Edward, sickt and died.
2515War. Speake lower, princes, for the King recouers.
Hum. This apoplexi wil certaine be his end.
King I pray you take me vp, and beare me hence,
Into some other chamber.
2520Let there be no noyse made, my gentle friends,
Vnlesse some dull and fauourable hand
Will whisper musique to my weary spirite.
War. Call for the musique in the other roome.
King Set me the crowne vpon my pillow here.
2525Clar. His eie is hollow, and he changes much.
War. Lesse noyse, lesse noyse.
Enter Harry
Prince Who saw the duke of Clarence?
Clar. I am here brother, ful of heauinesse.
2530Prince How now, raine within doores, and none abroad?
How doth the King?
Hum. Exceeding ill.
Prince Heard he the good newes yet? tell it him.
2535Hum. He altred much vpon the hearing it,
Prince If he be sicke with ioy, heele recouer without phi-
sicke.
War. Not so much noyse my Lords, sweete prince, speake
lowe, the King your father is disposde to sleepe.
Cla. Let vs withdraw into the other roome.
War. Wilt please your Grace to go along with vs?
Prince No, I wil sit and watch heere by the King.
Why doth the Crowne lie there vpon his pillow,
2545Being so troublesome a bedfellow?
O polisht perturbation! golden care!
That keepst the ports of Slumber open wide
To many a watchfull night, sleepe with it now!
Yet not so sound, and halfe so deeply sweete,
2550As he whose brow (with homely biggen bound)
Snores out the watch of night. O maiestie!
When thou dost pinch thy bearer, thou dost sit
Like a rich armour worne in heate of day,
That scaldst with safty (by his gates of breath)
2555There lies a dowlny feather which stirs not,
Did he suspire, that light and weightlesse dowlne
Perforce must moue my gracious lord my father:
This sleepe is sound indeede, this is a sleepe,
That from this golden Rigoll hath diuorst
2560So many English Kings, thy deaw from me,
Is teares and heauy sorowes of the blood,
Which nature, loue, and filiall tendernesse
Shall (O deare father) pay thee plenteously:
My due from thee is this imperiall Crowne,
2565Which as immediate from thy place and blood,
Deriues it selfe to me: loe where it sits,
Which God shal guard, and put the worlds whole strength
Into one giant arme, it shal not force,
This lineal honor from me, this from thee
2570Will I to mine leaue, as tis left to me.
exit.
Enter Warwicke, Gloucester, Clarence.
King Warwicke, Gloucester, Clarence.
Clar. Doth the King cal?
2575War. What would your Maiestie?
King Why did you leaue me here alone, my lords?
Cla. We left the prince my brother here my liege, who vn-
dertooke to sit and watch by you.
2580King The prince of Wales, where is he? let me see him: he
2580.1is not here.
War. This doore is open, he is gone this way.
Hum. He came not through the chamber where we staide.
2585King Where is the Crowne? who took it from my pillow?
War. When we withdrew, my liege, we left it here.
King The Prince hath tane it hence, go seeke him out:
Is he so hastie, that he doth suppose my sleepe my death?
Finde him, my lord of Warwicke, chide him hither.
This part of his conioynes with my disease,
And helps to end me: see, sonnes, what things you are,
How quickly nature falls into reuolt,
When gold becomes her obiect?
For this, the foolish ouer-carefull fathers
Haue broke their sleepe with thoughts,
2600Their braines with care, their bones with industry:
For this they haue ingrossed and pilld vp,
The cankred heapes of strange atcheeued gold:
For this they haue beene thoughtfull to inuest
Their sonnes with arts and martiall exercises,
2605When like the bee toling from euery flower,
Our thigh, packt with waxe, our mouthes with hony,
We bring it to the hiue: and like the bees,
Are murdred for our paines, this bitter taste
Yeelds his engrossements to the ending father,
Now where is he that will not stay so long,
Till his friend sicknesse hands determind me.
Enter Warwicke.
War. My Lord, I found the prince in the next roome,
2615Washing with kindly teares, his gentle cheekes,
VVith such a deepe demeanour in great sorrow,
That tyranny, which neuer quaft but bloud,
VVould by beholding him, haue washt his knife,
VVith gentle eie-drops, hee is comming hither.
Enter Harry.
2620King But wherefore did he take away the crowne?
Loe where he comes, come hither to me Harry,
Depart the chamber, leaue vs here alone.
exeunt.
Harry I neuer thought to heare you speake againe.
2625King Thy wish was father (Harry,) to that thought
I stay too long by thee, I weary thee,
Dost thou so hunger for mine emptie chaire,
That thou wilt needes inuest thee with my honors,
Before thy howre be ripe! O foolish youth,
2630Thou seekst the greatnesse that will ouerwhelme thee,
Stay but a little, for my clowd of dignity
Is held from falling with so weake a wind,
That it will quickly drop: my day is dim,
Thou hast stolne that, which after some few houres,
2635VVere thine, without offence, and at my death,
Thou hast seald vp my expectation,
Thy life did manifest thou lou'dst me not,
And thou wilt haue me die, assurde of it,
Thou hidst a thousand daggers in thy thoughts,
2640VVhom thou hast whetted on thy stony heart,
To stab at halfe an hower of my life.
VVhat, canst thou not forbeare me halfe an hower?
Then get thee gone, and digge my graue thy selfe,
And bid the mery bells ring to thine eare,
2645That thou art crowned, not that I am dead:
Let all the teares that should bedew my hearse
Be drops of Balme, to sanctifie thy head,
Only compound me with forgotten dust.
Giue that which gaue thee life, vnto the wormes,
2650Plucke downe my officers, breake my decrees,
For now a time is come to mocke at Forme:
Harry the fift is crownd, vp vanitie,
Downe royall state, all you sage counsailers, hence,
And to the English Court assemble now
2655From euery region, apes of idlenesse:
Now neighbour confines, purge you of your scumme
Haue you a ruffin that will sweare, drinke, daunce,
Reuell the night, rob, murder, and commit
The oldest sinnes, the newest kind of waies?
2660Be happy, he will trouble you no more.
England shal double gild his trebble gilt,
England shall giue him office, honour, might:
For the fift Harry, from curbd licence, plucks
The mussel of restraint, and the wild dogge
2665Shal flesh his tooth on euery innocent.
O my poore kingdome! sicke with ciuill blowes:
VVhen that my care could not withhold thy riots,
VVhat wilt thou do when riot is thy care?
O thou wilt be a wildernesse againe,
2670Peopled with woolues, thy old inhabitants.
Prince O pardon me, my liege, but for my teares,
The moist impediments vnto my speech,
I had forestald this deere and deep rebuke,
2675Ere you with griefe had spoke, and I had heard
The course of it so far: there is your crowne:
And he that weares the crowne immortally,
Long gard it yours: if I affect it more,
Then as your honour, and as your renowne,
2680Let me no more from this obedience rise,
VVhich my most inward true and duteous spirit,
Teacheth this prostrate and exterior bending,
God witnesse with me. When I here came in,
And found no course of breath within your maiesty,
2685How cold it strooke my heart! if I do faine,
O let me in my present wildnesse die,
And neuer liue to shew th'incredulous world,
The noble change that I haue purposed.
Comming to looke on you, thinking you dead,
2690And dead almost, my liege, to thinke you were,
I spake vnto this crowne as hauing sence,
And thus vpbraided it: the care on thee depending,
Hath fed vpon the body of my father,
Therefore thou best of gold, art worse then gold,
2695Other lesse fine, in karrat more precious,
Preseruing life in medcine potable:
But thou, most fine, most honourd, most renown'd,
Hast eate thy bearer vp: thus my most royall liege,
2700Accusing it, I put it on my head,
To trie with it as with an enemy,
That had before my face murdered my father,
The quarrell of a true inheritour,
But if it did infect my bloud with ioy,
2705Or swell my thoughts to any straine of pride,
If any rebel or vaine spirit of mine,
Did with the least affection of a welcome,
Giue entertainement to the might of it,
Let God for euer keep it from my head,
2710And make me as the poorest vassaile is,
That doth with aw and terror kneele to it.
King God put in thy mind to take it hence,
That thou mightst win the more thy fathers loue,
2715Pleading so wisely in excuse of it:
Come hither Harry, sit thou by my bed,
And heare (I thinke) the very latest counsaile
That euer I shal breathe. God knowes (my sonne)
By what by-paths, and indirect crookt waies,
2720I met this crowne, and I my selfe know well,
How troublesome it sate vpon my head:
To thee it shall descend with better quiet,
Better opinion, better confirmation,
For al the soyle of the atchieuement goes,
2725With me into the earth, it seemd in me,
But as an honor snatcht with boistrous hand,
And I had many liuing to vpbraide
My gaine of it, by their assistances,
Which daily grew to quarrell and to bloudshed,
2730Wounding supposed peace: all these bold feares
Thou seest with perill I haue answerd:
For all my raigne hath beene but as a Scene,
Acting that argument: and now my death
2735Changes the mood, for what in me was purchast,
Fals vpon thee in a more fairer sort.
So thou the garland wearst successiuely,
Yet though thou standst more sure then I could do,
Thou art not firme enough, since griefes are greene,
2740And all thy friends which thou must make thy friends,
Haue but their stings and teeth newly tane out:
By whose fell working I was first aduaunst,
And by whose power I well might lodge a feare
To be againe displacde: which to auoyde,
2745I cut them off, and had a purpose, now
To leade out manie to the Holy Land,
Lest rest, and lying stil, might make them looke,
Too neare vnto my state: therefore, my Harry,
2750Be it thy course to busie giddie mindes
With forraine quarrells, that action hence borne out,
May waste the memory of the former dayes.
More would I, but my lungs are wasted so,
That strength of speech is vtterly denied me:
2755How I came by the crowne, O God forgiue,
And grant it may with thee in true peace liue.
Prince You won it, wore it, kept it, gaue it me,
Then plaine and right must my possession be,
2760Which I with more then with a common paine,
Gainst all the world will rightfully maintaine.
enter Lancaster.
King Looke, looke, here comes my Iohn of Lancaster.
Lanc. Health, peace, and happinesse to my royall father.
King Thou bringst me happinesse and peace sonne Iohn,
2770But health (alacke) with youthfull wings is flowne
From this bare witherd trunke: vpon thy sight,
My worldly busines makes a period:
Where is my lord of Warwicke?
Prince My Lord of Warwicke.
2775King Doth any name perticular belong
Vnto the lodging where I first did swound?
War. Tis cald Ierusalem, my noble Lord.
King Laud be to God, euen there my life must end.
2780It hath bin prophecide to me many yeares,
I should not die, but in Ierusalem,
Which vainely I supposde the Holy Land:
But beare me to that chamber, there ile lie,
Enter Shallow,
In that Ierusalem shall Harry die.
Shal. By cock and pie sir, you shal not away to night, what
Dauy I say?
2790Falst. You must excuse me master Robert Shallow.
Shal. I will not excuse you, you shall not be excusde, ex-
cuses shall not be admitted, there is no excuse shall serue, you
shall not be excusde: why Dauy.
2795Dauy Here sir.
Shal. Dauy, Dauy, Dauy, Dauy, let me see Dauy, let me see
Dauy, let me see, yea mary VVilliam Cooke, bid him come
hither, sir Iohn, you shal not be excused.
Dauy Mary sir thus, those precepts can not be serued, and
2800againe sir, shal we sow the hade land with wheate?
Shal. VVith red wheat Dauy, but for VVilliam Cooke
are there no yong pigeons?
Dauy Yes sir, here is now the Smiths note for shooing and
plow-yrons.
Shal. Let it be cast and payed: sir Iohn, you shal not be ex-
cused.
Dauy Now sir, a new lincke to the bucket must needes be
2810had: and sir, do you meane to stop any of VVVilliams wages, a-
bout the sacke he lost at Hunkly Faire?
Shal. A shall answer it: some pigeons Dauy, a couple of
short legg'd hens, a ioynt of mutton, and any pretty little tinie
2815Kick-shawes, tell william Cooke.
Dauy Doth the man of warre stay all night sir?
Shal. Yea Dauy, I will vse him well, a friend i'th court is
better then a penie in purse: vse his men wel Dauy, for they are
2820arrant knaues, and will backbite.
Dauy No worse then they are back-bitten sir, for they haue
maruailes foule linnen.
Shal. VVell conceited Dauy, about thy businesse Dauy.
Dauy I beseech you sir to countenance VVilliam Visor
of Woncote against Clement Perkes a'th hill.
Sha. There is many complaints Dauy against that Visor,
2830that Visor is an arrant knaue on my knowledge.
Dauy I graunt your worship that he is a knaue sir: but yet
God forbid sir, but a knaue should haue some countenance at
his friends request, an honest man sir is able to speake for him-
2835selfe, when a knaue is not: I haue seru'de your worship truly sir
this eight yeares and I cannot once, or twice in a quarter beare
out a knaue against an honest man, I haue litle credit with your
worship: the knaue is mine honest friend sir, therfore I beseech
2840you let him be countenaunst.
Shal. Go to I say, he shal haue no wrong, look about Dauy:
where are you sir Iohn? come, come, come, off with your boots,
2845giue me your hand master Bardolfe.
Bard. I am glad to see your worship.
Shal I thank thee with my heart kind master Bardolfe, and
welcome my tall fellow, come sir Iohn.
2850Falst. Ile follow you good maister Robert Shallow: Bar-
dolfe, looke to our horses: if I were sawed into quantities, I
should make foure dozen of such berded hermites staues as
maister Shallow: it is a wonderfull thing to see the semblable
coherence of his mens spirits, and his, they, by obseruing him,
2855do beare themselues like foolish Iustices: hee, by conuersing
with them, is turned into a Iustice-like seruingman, their spirits
are so married in coniunction, with the participation of society,
that they flocke together in consent, like so many wild-geese.
2860If I had a suite to master Shallow, I would humour his men
with the imputation, of beeing neere their maister: if to his
men, I would curry with maister Shallow, that no man could
better commaund his seruants. It is certaine, that eyther wise
bearing, or ignorant cariage is caught, as men take diseases one
of another: therefore let men take heede of their company. I
will deuise matter enough out of this Shallow, to keepe prince
Harry in continuall laughter, the wearing out of sixe fashions,
which is foure termes, or two actions, and a shal laugh without
2870interuallums. O it is much that a lie, with a slight oathe, and
a iest, with a sad browe, will doe with a fellow that neuer had
the ach in his shoulders: O you shall see him laugh til his face
be like a wet cloake ill laide vp.
2875Shal. Sir Iohn.
Falst. I come maister Shallow, I come master Shallow.
Enter Warwike, duke Humphrey,L. chiefe Iustice, Thomas
2879.1
Clarence, Prince, Iohn Westmerland.
War. How now, my lord chiefe Iustice, whither away?
Iust. How doth the King?
War. Exceeding well, his cares are now all ended.
Iust. I hope not dead.
War. Hees walkt the way of nature,
And to our purposes he liues no more.
Iust. I would his Maiestie had calld me with him:
2890The seruice that I truely did his life,
Hath left me open to all iniuries.
War. Indeede I thinke the yong King loues you not.
Iust. I know he doth not, and do arme my selfe
To welcome the condition of the time,
2895Which cannot looke more hideously vpon me,
Than I haue drawne it in my fantasie.
Enter Iohn, Thomas, and Humphrey.
War. Heere come the heauy issue of dead Harry:
2900O that the liuing Harry had the temper
Of he, the worst of these three gentlemen!
How many Nobles then should holde their places,
That must strike saile to spirites of vile sort?
Iust. O God, I feare all will be ouer-turnd.
2905Iohn Good morrow coosin Warwicke, good morrow.
Prin. ambo Good morrow coosin.
Iohn We meete like men that had forgot to speake.
War. We do remember, but our argument
Is all too heauy to admit much talke.
2910Iohn Well, peace be with him that hath made vs heauy.
Iust. Peace be with vs, lest we be heauier.
Humph. O good my lord, you haue lost a friend indeede,
And I dare sweare you borrow not that face
Of seeming sorrow, it is sure your owne.
2915Iohn Though no man be assurde what grace to finde,
You stand in coldest expectation,
I am the sorier, would twere otherwise.
Cla. Well, you must now speake sir Iohn Falstaffe faire,
Which swimmes against your streame of quallitie.
2920Iust. Sweet princes, what I did, I did in honor,
Led by th'impartiall conduct of my soule.
And neuer shall you see that I will begge
A ragged and forestald remission,
If truth and vpright innocencie faile me.
2925Ile to the King my maister that is dead,
And tell him who hath sent me after him.
Enter the Prince
War. Here comes the Prince.
Iust. Good morrow, and God saue your maiestie.
2930King Henry This new and gorgeous garment Maiesty
Sits not so easie on me, as you thinke:
Brothers, you mixt your sadnesse with some feare,
This is the English, not the Turkish court,
Not Amurath an Amurath succeedes,
2935But Harry Harry: yet be sad, good brothers,
For by my faith it very well becomes you:
Sorrow so royally in you appeares,
That I will deeply put the fashion on,
And weare it in my heart: why then be sad,
2940But entertaine no more of it, good brothers,
Then a ioynt burden layd vpon vs all,
For me, by heauen (I bid you be assurde)
Ile be your father, and your brother too,
Let me but beare your loue, Ile beare your cares:
2945Yet weepe that Harries dead, and so will I,
But Harry liues, that shal conuert those teares
By number into howres of happinesse.
Bro. We hope no otherwise from your maiesty.
King Henry You al looke strangely on me, and you most,
2950You are I thinke assurde I loue you not.
Iust. I am assurde, if I be measurde rightly,
Your maiesty hath no iust cause to hate me.
King Henry No? how might a prince of my great hopes forget,
So great indignities you laid vpon me?
2955What, rate, rebuke, and roughly send to prison,
Th'immediate heire of England? was this easie?
May this be washt in lethy and forgotten?
Iust. I then did vse the person of your father,
The image of his power lay then in me,
2960And in th'administration of his law,
Whiles I was busie for the common wealth,
Your Highnesse pleased to forget my place,
The maiestie and power of law and iustice,
The image of the King whom I presented,
2965And strooke me in my very seate of iudgement,
Whereon, (as an offendor to your father,)
I gaue bold way to my authority,
And did commit you: if the deed were ill,
Be you contented, wearing now the garland,
2970To haue a sonne set your decrees at naught?
To plucke downe Iustice from your awful bench?
To trip the course of law, and blunt the sword,
That guards the peace and safetie of your person?
Nay more, to spurne at your most royall image,
2975And mocke your workings in a second body?
Question your royall thoughts, make the case yours,
Be now the father, and propose a sonne,
Heare your owne dignity so much prophan'd,
See your most dreadfull lawes so loosely slighted,
2980Behold your selfe so by a sonne disdained:
And then imagine me taking your part,
And in your power soft silencing your sonne,
After this cold considerance sentence me,
And as you are a King, speake in your state,
2985What I haue done that misbecame my place,
My person, or my lieges soueraigntie.
King Henry You are right Iustice, and you weigh this well,
Therefore still beare the Ballance and the Sword,
And I do wish your honors may encrease,
2990Til you do liue to see a sonne of mine
Offend you, and obey you as I did:
So shall I liue to speake my fathers words,
Happie am I that haue a man so bold,
That dares do iustice on my proper sonne:
2995And not lesse happie, hauing such a sonne,
That would deliuer vp his greatnesse so,
Into the hands of Iustice you did commit me:
For which I do commit into your hand,
Th'vnstained sword that you haue vsde to beare,
3000With this remembrance, that you vse the same
With the like bold, iust, and impartial spirit,
As you haue done gainst me: there is my hand,
You shall be as a father to my youth,
My voice shall sound as you do prompt mine eare,
3005And I wil stoope and humble my intents,
To your well practizde wise directions.
And princes all, beleeue me I beseech you,
My father is gone wild into his graue:
For in his toomb lie my affections,
3010And with his spirites sadly I suruiue,
To mocke the expectation of the world,
To frustrate prophecies, and to race out,
Rotten opinion, who hath writ me downe
After my seeming, the tide of bloud in me
3015Hath prowdely flowd in vanitie till now:
Now doth it turne, and ebbe backe to the sea,
Where it shall mingle with the state of flouds,
And flow henceforth in formall maiestie.
Now call we our high court of parliament,
3020And let vs chuse such limbs of noble counsaile,
That the great bodie of our state may goe,
In equall ranke with the best gouernd Nation,
That warre, or peace, or both at once, may be,
As things acquainted and familiar to vs,
3025In which your father shall haue formost hand:
Our coronation done, we wil accite,
(As I before remembred) all our state,
And (God consigning to my good intents,)
No prince nor peere shall haue iust cause to say,
3030God shorten Harries happy life one day.
exit.
Enter sir Iohn, Shallow, Scilens, Dauy, Bardolfe, page.
Shal. Nay you shall see my orchard, where, in an arbour we
3035will eate a last yeeres pippen of mine owne graffing, with a
dish of carrawaies and so forth: come coosin Scilens, and then
to bed.
Falst. Fore God you haue here goodly dwelling, and rich.
Shal. Barraine, barraine, barraine, beggars all, beggars all sir
3040Iohn, mary good ayre: spread Dauy, spread Dauy, well saide
Dauy.
Fal. This Dauy serues you for good vses, hee is your ser-
uing-man, and your husband.
Shal. A good varlet, a good varlet, a very good varlet sir
3045Iohn: by the mas I haue drunke too much sacke at supper: a
good varlet: now sit downe, now sit downe, come cosin.
Scilens A sirra quoth a, we shall do nothing but eate and
make good cheere, and praise God for the merry yeere, when
3050flesh is cheape and females deare, and lusty laddes roame here
and there so merely, and euer among so merily.
sir Iohn Theres a merry heart, good M. Silens, ile giue you a
health for that anon.
3055Shal. Giue master Bardolfe some wine, Dauy.
Dauy Sweet sir sit, ile be with you anon, most sweet sir sit,
master Page, good master Page sit: proface, what you want in
meate, weele haue in drink, but you must beare, the heart's al.
3060Shal. Be mery master Bardolfe, and my litle souldier there,
be merry.
Scilens Be merry, be mery, my wife has all, for women are
shrowes both short and tall, tis merry in hal when beards wags
all, and welcome mery shrouetide, be mery, be mery.
Falst. I did not thinke master Scilens had bin a man of this
mettall.
Scilens Who I? I haue beene mery twice and once ere now.
3068.1
Enter Dauy.
3070Dauy Theres a dish of Lether-coates for you.
Shal. Dauy?
Dauy Your worship: Ile be with you straight, a cup of wine
sir.
Scilens A cup of wine thats briske and fine, and drinke vnto
3075the leman mine, and a mery heart liues long a.
Falst. Well said master Scilens.
Scilens And we shall be mery, now comes in the sweete a'th
night.
Falst Health and long life to you master Scilens.
3080Scilens Fill the cuppe, and let it come, ile pledge you a mile
too'th bottome.
Shal. Honest Bardolfe, welcome, if thou wantst any thing,
and wilt not call, beshrew thy heart, welcome my little tiny
theefe, and welcome indeede too, Ile drink to master Bardolfe,
3085and to all the cabileros about London.
Dauy I hope to see London once ere I die.
Bar. And I might see you there Dauy!
Shal. By the mas youle crack a quarte together, ha will you
not master Bardolfe?
3090Bar. Yea sir, in a pottle pot.
Sha. By Gods liggens I thanke thee, the knaue will sticke by
thee, I can assure thee that a wil not out, a tis true bred!
Bar. And ile stick by him sir.
One knockes at doore.
Sha. Why there spoke a King: lacke nothing, be mery,
3095looke who's at doore there ho, who knockes?
Falst. Why now you haue done me right.
Silens Do me right, and dub me Knight, samingo: ist not so?
Falst. Tis so.
3100Silens Ist so, why then say an olde man can do somewhat.
Dauy And't please your worship, theres one Pistoll come
from the court with newes.
enter Pistol.
Falst. From the Court? let him come in, how now Pistol?
Pistol Sir Iohn, God saue you.
Falst. What wind blew you hither Pistol?
Pistol Not the ill winde which blowes no man to good:
sweete Knight, thou art now one of the greatest men in this
3110Realme.
Silens Birlady I think a be, but goodman Puffe of Barson.
Pisto Puffe? Puffe ith thy teeth, most recreant coward, base,
sir Iohn, I am thy Pistol and thy frend, and helter skelter, haue
3115I rode to thee, and tidings do I bring, and luckie ioyes, and gol-
den times, and happy news of price.
Iohn I pray thee now deliuer them like a man of this
world.
3120Pistol A footre for the world and worldlings base, I speake
of Affrica and golden ioyes.
Iohn O base Assirian Knight! what is thy newes? let King
Couetua know the truth thereof.
Scilens And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and Iohn.
3125Pistol Shal dunghill curs confront the Helicons? and shall
good newes be baffled? then Pistoll lay thy head in Furies lap.
Shal. Honest gentleman, I know not your breeding.
3130Pistol Why then lament therefore.
Shal. Giue me pardon sir, if sir you come with newes from
the court, I take it theres but two waies, either to vtter them, or
conceale them, I am sir vnder the King in some authoritie.
3135Pistol Vnder which King, Besonian? speake, or die.
Shal. Vnder King Harry.
Pistol Harry the fourth, or fift?
Shal. Harry the fourth.
3140Pist A fowtre for thine office: sir Iohn, thy tender lambkin
now is King: Harry the fifts the man: I speake the truth: when
Pistol lies, do this, and fig me, like the bragging spaniard.
3145Falst What is the old King dead?
Pistol As nayle in doore, the things I speake are iust.
Fal. Away Bardolfe, saddle my horse, M. Robert Shallow,
choose what office thou wilt in the land, tis thine: Pistol, I will
3150double charge thee with dignities.
Bard. O ioyful day! I would not take a Knight for my for-
tune.
Pistol What? I do bring good newes.
3155Falst. Carry master Scilens to bed: master Shallow, my
lord Shalow, be what thou wilt, I am fortunes steward, get on
thy boots, weel ride al night: ô sweet Pistol, away Bardolf, com
Pistol, vtter more to me, and withall, deuise something to doe
thy selfe good, boote, boote master Shallow, I know the yong
3160King is sicke for me: let vs take any mans horses, the lawes of
England are at my commandement, blessed are they that haue
bin my friends, and woe to my Lord chiefe Iustice.
3165Pist. Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also: where is the
life that late I led, say they, why here it is, welcome these ple-
sant dayes.
exit.
3167.1
Enter Sincklo and three or foure officers.
Host. No, thou arrant knaue, I would to God that I might
die, that I might haue thee hangd, thou hast drawn my shoul-
der out of ioynt.
Sincklo The Constables haue deliuered her ouer to mee,
3175and shee shal haue whipping cheere I warrant her, there hath
beene a man or two kild about her.
Whoore Nut-hooke, Nut-hooke, you lie, come on, Ile tell
thee what, thou damnd tripe visagde rascall, and the child I go
3180with, do miscarry, thou wert better thou hadst strook thy mo-
ther, thou paper-facde villaine.
Host. O the Lord, that sir Iohn were come! I would make
this a bloody day to some body: but I pray God the fruite of
3185her wombe miscarry.
Sincklo. If it doe, you shall haue a dozzen of cushions
againe, you haue but eleuen nowe: come, I charge you both
goe with mee, for the man is dead that you and Pistoll beat a-
mongst you.
3190Whoore Ile tell you what, you thin man in a censor, I will
haue you as soundly swingde for this, you blewbottle rogue,
you filthy famisht correctioner, if you be not swingde, Ile for-
sweare halfe kirtles.
Sinck. Come, come, you shee-Knight-arrant, come.
3195Host. O God, that right should thus ouercom might! wel,
of sufferance comes ease.
Whoore Come you rogue, come bring me to a iustice.
Host. I come, you starude blood-hound.
3200Whoore Goodman death, goodman bones.
Host. Thou Atomy, thou.
Whoore Come you thinne thing, come you rascall.
Sinck. Very well.
Enter strewers of rushes.
1 More rushes, more rushes.
2 The trumpets haue sounded twice.
3 Twill be two a clocke ere they come from the coronati-
3209.1on, dispatch, dispatch.
Trumpets sound, and the King, and his traine passe ouer the
stage: after them enter Falstaffe, Shallow, Pistol,
Bardolfe, and the Boy.
Falst. Stand heere by me maister Shallow, I will make the
King doe you grace, I will leere vpon him as a comes by, and
do but marke the countenaunce that he will giue me.
Pist. God blesse thy lungs good Knight.
Falst. Come heere Pistoll, stand behinde mee. O if I had
had time to haue made new liueries: I woulde haue bestowed
the thousand pound I borrowed of you, but tis no matter, this
3220poore shew doth better, this doth inferre the zeale I had to see
him.
Pist. It doth so.
Falst. It shewes my earnestnesse of affection.
Pist. It doth so.
3225Falst. My deuotion.
Pist. It doth, it doth, it doth.
Fal. As it were to ride day & night, and not to deliberate,
not to remember, not to haue pacience to shift me.
3230Shal It is best certain: but to stand stained with trauaile, and
sweating with desire to see him, thinking of nothing els, putting
all affaires else in obliuion, as if there were nothing els to bee
done, but to see him.
3235Pist. Tis semper idem, for, obsque hoc nihil est, tis in euery
part.
Shal. Tis so indeede.
Pist. My Knight, I will inflame thy noble liuer, and make
thee rage, thy Dol, and Helen of thy noble thoughts, is in base
3240durance, and contagious prison, halde thither by most mecha-
nical, and durtie hand: rowze vp reuenge from Ebon den, with
fell Alectoes snake, for Doll is in: Pistoll speakes nought but
truth.
Falst. I will deliuer her.
3245Pist. There roared the sea, and trumpet Clangor sounds.
Enter the King and his traine.
3250Falst. God saue thy grace King Hall, my royall Hall.
Pist. The heauens thee gard and keep, most royal impe of
fame.
Falst. God saue thee, my sweet boy.
King My Lord chiefe iustice, speake to that vaine man.
Iust. Haue you your wits? know you what tis you speake?
Falst. My King, my Ioue, I speake to thee, my heart.
King I know thee not old man, fall to thy praiers,
3260How ill white heires becomes a foole and iester,
I haue long dreampt of such a kind of man,
So surfet-sweld, so old, and so prophane:
But being awakt, I do despise my dreame,
Make lesse thy body (hence) and more thy grace,
3265Leaue gourmandizing, know the graue doth gape
For thee, thrice wider then for other men,
Reply not to me with a foole-borne iest,
Presume not that I am the thing I was,
For God doth know, so shall the world perceiue,
3270That I haue turnd away my former selfe,
So will I those that kept me company:
When thou dost heare I am as I haue bin,
Approch me, and thou shalt be as thou wast,
The tutor and the feeder of my riots:
3275Till then I banish thee, on paine of death,
As I haue done the rest of my misleaders,
Not to come neare our person by ten mile:
For competence of life, I wil allow you,
That lacke of meanes enforce you not to euills,
3280And as we heare you do reforme your selues,
We will according to your strengths and qualities,
Giue you aduauncement. Be it your charge, my lord,
To see performd the tenure of my word: set on.
3285Iohn Master Shallow I ow you a thousand pound.
Shal. Yea mary sir Iohn, which I beseech you to let me haue
home with me.
Iohn That can hardly be, master Shalow: do not you grieue
at this, I shall be sent for in priuate to him, looke you, hee must
3290seeme thus to the world: feare not your aduauncements, I will
be the man yet that shal make you great.
Shal. I cannot perceiue how, vnlesse you giue me your
dublet, and stuffe me out with straw: I beseech you good sir
Iohn let me haue fiue hundred of my thousand.
Iohn Sir I will be as good as my worde, this that you heard
was but a collour.
Shall. A collor that I feare you will die in sir Iohn.
Iohn Feare no colours, go with me to dinner:
3300Come lieftenant Pistol, come Bardolfe,
Enter Iustice
I shall be sent for soone at night.
Iustice Go cary sir Iohn Falstalfe to the Fleet,
Take all his company along with him.
Fal. My lord, my lord.
3305Iust. I cannot now speake, I will heare you soone, take them
away.
exeunt.
Pist. Si fortuna me tormenta spero contenta.
Iohn I like this faire proceeding of the Kings,
3310He hath intent his wonted followers
Shall all be very well prouided for,
But all are banisht till their conuersations
Appeare more wise and modest to the worlde.
Iust. And so they are.
3315Iohn The King hath cald his parlament my lord.
Iust. He hath.
Iohn I wil lay ods, that ere this yeere expire,
We beare our ciuil swords and natiue fier,
3320As farre as France, I heard a bird so sing,
Whose musique, to my thinking, pleasde the King:
Come, will you hence?
Epilogue.
3325First my feare then my cursie, last my speech.
My feare, is your displeasure, my cursy, my duty, & my speech,
to beg your pardons: if you looke for a good speech now, you
vndo me, for what I haue to say is of mine owne making, and
what indeed (I should say) wil (I doubt) proue mine own mar-
3330ring: but to the purpose, and so to the venture. Be it knowne to
you, as it is very well, I was lately here in the end of a displea-
sing play, to pray your patience for it, and to promise you a bet-
ter: I meant indeed to pay you with this, which if like an il ven-
ture it come vnluckily home, I breake, and you my gentle cre-
3335ditors loose, here I promisde you I would be, and here I com-
mit my body to your mercies, bate me some, and I will pay you
some, and (as most debtors do) promise you infinitely: and so I
3336.1kneele downe before you; but indeed, to pray for the Queene.
If my tongue cannot intreate you to acquit mee, will you
commaund me to vse my legges? And yet that were but light
payment, to daunce out of your debt, but a good consci-
3340ence will make any possible satisfaction, and so woulde I: all
the Gentlewomen heere haue forgiuen me, if the Gentlemen
will not, then the Gentlemen doe not agree with the Gentle-
women, which was neuer seene in such an assemblie.
One word more I beseech you, if you bee not too much
cloyd with fatte meate, our humble Author will continue the
3345storie, with sir Iohn in it, and make you merry with faire Ka-
tharine of Fraunce, where (for any thing I knowe) Falstaffe
shall die of a sweat, vnlesse already a be killd with your harde
opinions; for Olde-castle died Martyre, and this is not the
man: my tongue is weary, when my legges are too, I wil bid
you, good night.
3350
FINIS.