Internet Shakespeare Editions

Author: William Shakespeare
Editor: Rosemary Gaby
Not Peer Reviewed

Henry IV, Part 2 (Quarto 1, 1598).


2235Alarum
Enter Falstaffe
excursions
Fal. whats your name sir, of what condition are you, and
of what place?
Cole. I am a Knight sir, and my name is Coleuile of the
Dale.
2240Fal. well then, Colleuile is your name, a Knight is your de-
gree, and your place the dale: Coleuile shalbe still your name,
a traitor your degree, & the dungeon your place, a place deep
enough, so shall you be stil Colleuile of the Dale.
2245Colle. Are not you sir Iohn Falstaffe?
Fal. As good a man as he sir, who ere I am: doe ye yeelde
sir, or shall I sweat for you? if I doe sweate, they are the drops
of thy louers, and they weepe for thy death, therefore rowze
vp feare and trembling, and do obseruance to my mercie.
Colle. I think you are sir Iohn Falstaffe, and in that thought
yeelde me.
Fal. I haue a whole school of tongues in this belly of mine,
and not a tongue of them all speakes any other word but my
2255name, and I had but a belly of any indifferencie, I were simply
the most actiue fellow in Europe: my womb, my wombe, my
womb vndoes me, heere comes our Generall.
Enter Iohn Westmerland, and the rest.
Retraite
2260Iohn The heate is past, follow no further now,
Call in the powers good coosin Westmerland.
Now Falstaffe, where haue you beene all this while?
VVhen euery thing is ended, then you come:
These tardy trickes of yours wil on my life
2265One time or other breake some gallowes backe.
Fal. I would bee sory my lord, but it shoulde bee thus: I
neuer knew yet but Rebuke and Checke, was the rewarde of
Valor: do you thinke me a swallow, an arrow, or a bullet? haue
I in my poore and old motion the expedition of thought? I
2270haue speeded hither with the very extreamest inch of possibi-
lity, I haue foundred ninescore and od postes, and here trauell
tainted as I am, haue in my pure and immaculate valour, ta-
ken sir Iohn Colleuile of the Dale, a most furious Knight and
2275valorous enemy,: but what of that? he sawe me, and yeelded,
that I may iustly say with the hooke-nosde fellow of Rome,
there cosin, I came, saw, and ouercame.
Iohn It was more of his curtesie then your deseruing.
2280Falst. I know not, here he is, and here I yeeld him, and I
beseech your grace let it be bookte with the rest of this daies
deedes, or by the Lord, I wil haue it in a particular ballad else,
with mine owne picture on the top on't, (Coleuile kissing my
foote) to the which course, if I bee enforst, if you doe not all
2285shew like guilt twoo pences to mee, and I in the cleere skie of
Fame, ore-shine you as much as the full moone doth the cin-
dars of the element, (which shew like pinnes heads to her) be-
leeue not the worde of the noble: therefore let me haue right,
2290and let Desert mount.
Prince Thine's too heauy to mount.
Falst. Let it shine then.
Prince Thines too thicke to shine.
Falst. Let it do some thing, my good lord, that may doe me
2295good, and call it what you will.
Prince Is thy name Colleuile?
Col. It is my Lord.
Prince A famous rebell art thou Colleuile.
Falst. And a famous true subiect tooke him.
2300Col. I am my lord but as my betters are,
That led me hither, had they bin rulde by me,
You should haue wonne them deerer then you haue.
Fal. I know not how they sold themselues, but thou like a
kind fellow gauest thy selfe away gratis, and I thanke thee for
2305thee.
enter Westmerland.
Prince Now, haue you left pursuit?
West. Retraite is made, and execution stayd.
Prince Send Colleuile with his confederates
2310To Yorke to present execution,
Blunt leade him hence, and see you guard him sure.
And now dispatch we toward the court my lordes,
I heare the King my father is sore sick,
2315Our newes shall go before vs to his maiestie,
Which cosin you shall beare to comfort him,
And we with sober speede will follow you.
Falst. My Lord, I beseech you giue me leaue to go through
Glostershire, and when you come to court, stand my good lord
2320in your good report.
Prince Fare you wel Falstaffe, I, in my condition, shal better
speake of you then you deserue.
Fal. I would you had the wit, twere better than your duke-
dome, good faith this same yong sober blouded boy doth not
2325loue me, nor a mān cānnot make him laugh, but thats no maruel,
he drinkes no wine, theres neuer none of these demure boyes
come to any proofe, for thin drinke doth so ouer-coole theyr
blood, and making many fish meales, that they fall into a kind
2330of male greene sicknes, and then when they marry, they gette
wenches, they are generally fooles and cowards, which some
of vs should be too, but for inflammation: a good sherris sacke
hath a two fold operation in it, it ascendes mee into the braine,
dries me there all the foolish, and dull, and crudy vapors which
enuirone it, makes it apprehensiue, quicke, forgetiue, full of
nimble, fiery, and delectable shapes, which deliuered ore to
the voyce, the tongue, which is the birth, becomes excellent
wit. The second property of your excellent sherris, is the war-
2340ming of the blood, which before (cold & setled,) left the lyuer
white & pale, which is the badge of pusilanimitie and cowar-
dize: but the sherris warmes it, and makes it course from the
inwards to the partes extreames, it illumineth the face, which
2345as a beakon, giues warning to al the rest of this little kingdom
man to arme, and then the vitall commoners, and inland petty
spirits, muster me all to their captaine, the heart: who great, and
pufft vp with this retinew, doth any deed of courage: and this
2350valour comes of sherris, so that skill in the weapon is nothing
without sacke (for that sets it aworke) and learning a meere
whoord of gold kept by a diuell, till sacke commences it, and
sets it in act and vse. Hereof comes it, that Prince Harry is
valiant, for the cold blood he did naturally inherite of his fa-
2355ther, he hath like leane, sterile, and bare land, manured, hus-
banded and tilld, with excellent endeuour of drinking good
and good store of fertile sherris, that he is become very hote
and valiant. If I had a thousand sonnes, the first humane prin-
2360ciple I would teach them, should be, to forsweare thin potati-
ons, and to addict themselues to sacke. How now Bardolfe?
2361.1
Enter Bardolfe.
Bar. The army is discharged all, and gone.
Fal. Let them goe, ile through Glostershire, and there will
2365I visit M. Robert Shallow Esquire, I haue him already tem-
pring betweene my finger and my thumb, and shortly will I
seale with him, come away.