Internet Shakespeare Editions

Author: William Shakespeare
Editor: Rosemary Gaby
Not Peer Reviewed

Henry IV, Part 2 (Quarto 1, 1598).


Enter Iustice Shallow, and Iustice
Silence.
Shallow Come on, come on, come on sir, giue me your
1535hand sir, giue me your hand sir, an early stirrer, by the Roode:
and how dooth my good cosin Silens?
Silence Good morrow good cosin Shallow.
Shallow And how dooth my coosin your bed-fellowe?
and your fayrest daughter and mine, my god-daughter El-
1540len?
Silens Alas, a blacke woosel, cosin Shallow.
Shallow By yea, and no sir: I dare saye my coosin Wil-
liam is become a good scholler, he is at Oxford still, is hee
not?
1545Silens Indeede sir to my cost.
Shallow A must then to the Innes a court shortly: I was
once of Clements Inne, where I thinke they will talke of mad
Shallow yet.
Silens You were cald Lusty Shallow then, cosin.
1550Shallow By the masse I was cald any thing, and I would
haue done any thing indeed too, and roundly too: there was
I, and little Iohn Doyt of Stafford-shire, and Blacke George
Barnes, and Francis Picke-bone, and Will Squele a Cotsole
man, you had not foure such swinge-bucklers in al the Innes
1555a court againe: and I may say to you, we knew where the bona
robes were, and had the best of them all at commaundement:
then was Iacke Falstaffe (now sir Iohn) a boy, and Page to
Thomas Mowbray duke of Norffolke.
1560Silens Coosin, this sir Iohn that comes hither anone about
souldiers?
Shall. The same (sir Iohn) the very same, I see him breake
Skoggins head at the Court gate, when a was a Cracke, not
thus high: and the very same day did I fight with one Samson
1565Stockefish a Fruiterer behinde Greyes Inne: Iesu, Iesu, the
mad dayes that I haue spent! and to see how many of my olde
acquaintance are dead.
Silens We shall all follow, coosin.
Shal. Certaine, tis certaine, very sure, very sure, death (as the
1570Psalmist saith) is certaine to all, all shall die. How a good yoke
of bullockes at Samforth faire?
Silens By my troth I was not there.
Shal. Death is certaine: Is olde Dooble of your towne li-
uing yet?
1575Silens Dead sir.
Shal. Iesu, Iesu, dead! a drew a good bow, and dead? a shot
a fine shoote: Iohn a Gaunt loued him well, and betted much
money on his head. Dead! a would haue clapt ith clowt at
twelue score, and caried you a forehand shaft a foureteene and
1580foureteene and a halfe, that it would haue doone a mans heart
good to see. How a score of Ewes now?
Silens Thereafter as they be, a score of good Ewes may be
worth tenne pounds.
1585Shal. And is olde Dooble dead?
Silens Heere come twoo of sir Iohn Falstaffes men, as I
thinke.
Enter Bardolfe, and one with him.
Good morrow honest gentlemen.
1590Bard. I beseech you, which is Iustice Shallow?
Shall. I am Robert Shallow sir, a poore Esquire of this
Countie, and one of the Kings Iustices of the Peace: what is
your pleasure with me?
Bard. My Captaine, sir, commends him to you, my Cap-
1595taine sir Iohn Falstaffe, a tall gentleman, by heauen, and a most
gallant Leader.
Shall. He greets me wel, sir, I knew him a good backsword
man: how doth the good knight? may I aske how my Ladie
his wife doth?
1600Bar. Sir, pardon, a souldiour is better accommodate than
with a wife.
Shallow It is well sayde in faith sir, and it is well sayde in-
deede too, better accommodated, it is good, yea in deede is
it, good phrases, are surely, and euer were, very commenda-
1605ble, accommodated: it comes of accommodo, very good, a
good phrase.
Bardolfe Pardon me sir, I haue heard the worde, phrase
call you it? by this good day, I knowe not the phrase, but
I will mayntayne the worde with my sworde, to bee a soul-
1610diour-like word, and a worde of exceeding good command,
by heauen: accommodated, that is, when a man is, as they
say, accommodated, or when a man is, beeing whereby, a
may be thought to be accommodated, which is an excellent
thing.
1615
Enter sir Iohn Falstaffe.
Iust. It is very iust: looke, here comes good sir Iohn, giue
me your good hand, giue mee your worshippes good hand,
by my troth you like well, and beare your yeeres very well,
welcome good sir Iohn.
1620Fal. I am glad to see you well, good maister Robert Shal-
low, maister Soccard (as I thinke.)
Shal. No sir Iohn, it is my coosin Silens, in commission with
me.
Falst. Good maister Silens, it well befits you should be of
1625the Peace.
Silens Your good worship is welcome.
Falst. Fie, this is hot weather (gentlemen) haue you proui-
ded me heere halfe a dozen sufficient men?
Shal. Mary haue we sir, will you sit?
1630Falst. Let me see them I beseech you.
Shall. Wheres the rowle? wheres the rowle? wheres the
rowle? let me see, let me see, so, so, so, so, so (so, so) yea mary sir,
Rafe Mouldy, let them appeere as I call, let them do so, let thēm
do so, let me see, where is Mouldy?
Mouldy Here and it please you.
Sha. What think you sir Iohn, a good limbd fellow, yong,
strong, and of good friends.
Fal. Is thy name Mouldie?
1640Moul. Yea, and't please you.
Fal. Tis the more time thou wert vsde.
Shal. Ha, ha, ha, most excellent yfaith, things that are moul-
dy lacke vse: very singular good, infaith well said sir Iohn, very
well said.
Iohn prickes him.
Moul. I was prickt wel enough before, and you could haue
let me alone, my old dame will be vndone now for one to doe
her husbandrie, and her drudgery, you need not to haue prickt
me, there are other men fitter to go out then I.
Fal. Go to, peace Mouldy, you shall go, Mouldy it is time
you were spent.
Moul. Spent?
Shal. Peace fellow, peace, stand aside, know you where you
1655are? for th'other sir Iohn: let me see Simon Shadow.
Fal. Yea mary, let me haue him to sit vnder, hees like to be
a cold soldiour.
Shal. Wheres Shadow?
1660Shad. Here sir.
Fal. Shadow, whose sonne art thou?
Shad. My mothers sonne sir.
Fal. Thy mothers sonne! like enough, and thy fathers sha-
dow, so the sonne of the female is the shadow of the male: it is
1665often so indeede, but much of the fathers substance.
Shal. Do you like him sir Iohn?
Fal. Shadow wil serue for summer, pricke him, for we haue
a number of shadowes, fill vp the muster booke.
Shal. Thomas Wart.
Fal. Wheres he?
Wart Here sir.
Fal. Is thy name Wart?
1675Wart Yea sir.
Fal. Thou art a very ragged wart.
Shal. Shall I pricke him sir Iohn?
Fal. It were superfluous, for apparell is built vpon his back,
1680and the whole frame stands vpon pins, pricke him no more.
Shal. Ha, ha, ha, you can do it sir, you can do it, I commend
you well: Francis Feeble.
1685Feeble Here sir.
Shal. What trade art thou Feeble?
Feeble A womans tailer sir.
Shal. Shall I pricke him sir?
Fal. You may, but if he had bin a mans tailer hee'd a prickt
you: wilt thou make as manie holes in an enemies battaile, as
thou hast done in a womans peticoate.
Feeble I will do my good will sir, you can haue no more.
1695Fal. Well saide good womans tailer, well saide couragious
Feeble, thou wilt be as valiant as the wrathfull doue, or most
magnanimous mouse, pricke the womans tailer: wel M. Shal-
low, deepe M. Shallow.
1700Feeble I would Wart might haue gone sir.
Fal. I would thou wert a mans tailer, that thou mightst
mend him and make him fit to goe, I cannot put him to a pri-
uate souldier, that is the leader of so many thousands, let that
suffice most forcible Feeble.
1705Feeble It shall suffice sir.
Fal. I am bound to thee reuerend Feeble, who is next?
Shal. Peter Bul-calfe o'th greene.
Fal. Yea mary, lets see Bul-calfe.
1710Bul. Here sir.
Eal. Fore God a likely fellow, come pricke Bul-calfe til hee
Bul. O Lord, good my lord captaine.
Falst. What, dost thou roare before thou art prickt?
1715Bul. O Lord sir, I am a diseased man.
Fal. What disease hast thou?
Bul. A horson cold sir, a cough sir, which I cought with
ringing in the Kings affaires vpon his coronation day sir.
1720Fal. Come, thou shalt go to the warres in a gowne, we wil
haue away thy cold, and I wil take such order that thy friendes
shal ring for thee. Is here all?
Shal. Here is two more cald then your number, you must
haue but foure here sir, and so I pray you goe in with mee to
1725dinner.
Fa. Come, I wil go drink with you, but I cānnot tary dinner:
I am glad to see you, by my troth master Shallow.
Shal. O sir Iohn, do you remember since we lay all night
1730in the windmil in saint Georges field?
Fal. No more of that master Shallow.
Shal. Ha, twas a merry night, and is Iane Night-worke a-
liue?
1735Falst. She liues master Shallow.
Shal. She neuer could away with me.
Fa. Neuer neuer, she wold alwaies say, she could not abide
master Shallow.
Sha. By the masse I conld anger her too'th heart, she was
1740then a bona roba, doth she hold her owne wel?
Fal. Old old master Shallow.
Shal. Nay she must be old, she cannot chuse but be old, cer-
tain shees old, & had Robin Night-work by old Night-work,
before I came to Clements inne.
1745Scilens Thats fiftie fiue yeare ago.
Shal. Ha cousen Scilens that thou hadst seene that that this
Knight and I haue seene, ha sir Iohn, said I wel?
Fal. We haue heard the chimes at midnight M. Shallow.
Sha. That we haue, that we haue, that we haue, in faith sir
Iohn we haue, our watch-worde was Hemboies, come lets to
dinner, come lets to dinner, Iesus the daies that wee haue seene,
come, come.
exeunt.
1755Bul. Good maister corporate Bardolfe, stand my friend,
& heres foure Harry tenshillings in french crowns for you, in
very truth sir, I had as liue be hangd sir as go, and yet for mine
owne part sir I do not care, but rather because I am vnwilling,
and for mine owne part haue a desire to stay with my friends,
1760else sir I did not care for mine owne part so much.
Bard. Go to, stand aside.
Moul. And good M. corporall captaine, for my old dames
sake stand my friend, she has no body to doe any thing about
1765her when I am gone, and she is old and cannot helpe her selfe,
you shall haue forty sir.
Bar. Go to, stand aside.
Feeble By my troth I care not, a man can die but once, we
owe God a death, ile nere beare a base mind, and't bee my
1770destny: so, and't be not, so, no man's too good to serue's prince,
and let it go which way it will, he that dies this yeere is quit for
the next.
Bar Well said, th'art a good fellow.
Feeble Faith ile beare no base mind.
1774.1
Enter Falstaffe and the Iustices.
1775Fal. Come sir, which men shall I haue?
Shal. Foure of which you please.
Bar Sir, a word with you, I haue three pound to free Moul-
dy and Bulcalfe.
Fal. Go to, well.
1780Shal. Come sir Iohn, which foure wil you haue?
Fal. Do you chuse for me.
Shal. Mary then, Mouldy, Bulcalfe, Feeble, and Sadow.
Fal. Mouldy and Bulcalfe, for you Mouldy stay at home, til
1785you are past seruice: and for your part Bulcalfe, grow til you
come vnto it, I will none of you.
Shal. Sir Iohn, sir Iohn, doe not your selfe wrong, they are
your likeliest men, and I would haue you serude with the
best.
1790Fal. Wil you tel me (master Shallow) how to chuse a man?
care I for the limbe, the thewes, the stature, bulke and big as-
semblance of a man: giue me the spirit M. Shalow: heres Wart,
you see what a ragged apparance it is, a shall charge you, and
1795discharge you with the motion of a pewterers hammer, come
off and on swifter then he that gibbets on the brewers bucket:
and this same halfe facde fellow Shadow, giue me this man, he
presents no marke to the enemy, the fo-man may with as great
aime leuel at the edge of a pen-knife, and for a retraite how
1800swiftly wil this Feeble the womans Tailer runne off? O giue
mee the spare men, and spare me the great ones, putte mee a
caliuer into Warts hand Bardolfe.
Bar. Hold Wart, trauers thas, thas, thas.
1805Fal. Come mannage me your caliuer: so, very wel, go to, very
good, exceeding good, O giue me alwaies a little leane, olde
chopt Ballde, shot: well said yfaith Wart, th'art a good scab,
hold, theres a tester for thee.
Shal. He is not his crafts-master, he doth not do it right; I
1810remember at Mile-end-greene, when I lay at Clements Inne,
I was then sir Dagonet in Arthurs show, there was a little
quiuer fellow, and a would mannage you his peece thus, and a
would about and about, and come you in, and come you in,
1815rah, tah, tah, would a say, bounce would a say, and away again
would a go, and againe would a come: I shall nere see such a
fellow.
Fal. These fellowes wooll doe well M. Shallow, God keep
you M. Scilens, I will not vse many words with you, fare you
1820wel gentlemen both, I thank you, I must a dosen mile to night:
Bardolfe, giue the souldiers coates.
Shal. Sir Iohn, the Lord blesse you, God prosper your af-
faires, God send vs peace at your returne, visit our house, let
1825our old acquaintance be renewed, peraduenture I will with ye
to the court.
Fal. Fore God would you would.
Shal. Go to, I haue spoke at a word, God keep you.
1830Fal. Fare you well gentle gentlemen.
exit
Shal. On Bardolfe, leade the men away, as I returne I will
fetch off these iustices, I do see the bottome of iustice Shallow,
Lord, Lord, how subiect we old men are to this vice of lying,
this same staru'd iustice hath done nothing but prate to me,
1835of the wildnesse of his youth, and the feates he hath done a-
bout Turne-bull street, and euery third word a lie, dewer paid
to the hearer then the Turkes tribute, I doe remember him
at Clements Inne, like a man made after supper of a cheese pa-
ring, when a was naked, he was for all the worlde like a forkt
reddish, with a head fantastically carued vpon it with a knife,
a was so forlorne, that his demensions to any thicke sight were
inuincible, a was the very genius of famine, yet lecherous as a
1843.1monkie, & the whores cald him mandrake, a came ouer in the
rereward of the fashion, and sung those tunes to the ouer-
1844.1schutcht huswiues, that he heard the Car-men whistle, and
sware they were his fancies or his good-nights, and nowe is
1845this vices dagger become a squire, and talkes as familiarly of
Iohn a Gaunt, as if he had bin sworne brother to him, and
ile be sworn a nere saw him but once in the tylt-yard, and then
he burst his head for crowding among the Marshalles men, I
1850saw it and told Iohn a Gaunt he beate his owne name, for you
might haue thrust him and all his aparell into an eele-skin, the
case of a treble hoboy was a mansion for him a Court, and
now has he land and beefes. Well, ile be acquainted with him
1855if I returne, and t'shal go hard, but ile make him a philosophers
two stones to me, if the yong Dase be a baite for the old Pike,
I see no reason in the law of nature but I may snap at him, till
Time shape, and there an end.