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Henry the Fourth, Part Two (Folio 1 1623)

Author: William Shakespeare
Not Peer Reviewed
2785
Actus Quintus. Scœna Prima.
Enter Shallow, Silence, Falstaffe, Bardolfe,
Page, and Dauie.
Shal. By Cocke and Pye, you shall not away to night.
What Dauy, I say.
2790Fal. You must excuse me, M. Robert Shallow.
Shal. I will not excuse you: you shall not be excused.
Excuses shall not be admitted: there is no excuse shall
serue: you shall not be excus'd.
Why Dauie.
2795Dauie. Heere sir.
Shal. Dauy, Dauy, Dauy, let me see (Dauy) let me see:
William Cooke, bid him come hither. Sir Iohn, you shal
not be excus'd.
Dauy. Marry sir, thus: those Precepts cannot bee
2800seru'd: and againe sir, shall we sowe the head-land with
Wheate?
Shal. With red Wheate Dauy. But for William Cook:
are there no yong Pigeons?
Dauy. Yes Sir.
2805Heere is now the Smithes note, for Shooing,
And Plough-Irons.
Shal. Let it be cast, and payde: Sir Iohn, you shall
not be excus'd.
Dauy. Sir, a new linke to the Bucket must needes bee
2810had: And Sir, doe you meane to stoppe any of Williams
Wages, about the Sacke he lost the other day, at Hinckley
Fayre?
Shal. He shall answer it:
Some Pigeons Dauy, a couple of short-legg'd Hennes: a
2815ioynt of Mutton, and any pretty little tine Kickshawes,
tell William Cooke.
Dauy. Doth the man of Warre, stay all night sir?
Shal. Yes Dauy:
I will vse him well. A Friend i'th Court, is better then a
2820penny in purse. Vse his men well Dauy, for they are ar-
rant Knaues, and will backe-bite.
Dauy. No worse then they are bitten. sir: For they
haue maruellous fowle linnen.
Shallow. Well conceited Dauy: about thy Businesse,
2825Dauy.
Dauy. I beseech you sir,
To countenance William Visor of Woncot, against Cle-
ment Perkes of the hill.
Shal. There are many Complaints Dauy, against that
2830Visor, that Visor is an arrant Knaue, on my know-
ledge.
Dauy. I graunt your Worship, that he is a knaue Sir:)
But yet heauen forbid Sir, but a Knaue should haue some
Countenance, at his Friends request. An honest man sir,
2835is able to speake for himselfe, when a Knaue is not. I haue
seru'd your Worshippe truely sir, these eight yeares: and
if I cannot once or twice in a Quarter beare out a knaue,
against an honest man, I haue but a very litle credite with
your Worshippe. The Knaue is mine honest Friend Sir,
2840therefore I beseech your Worship, let him bee Counte-
nanc'd.
Shal. Go too,
I say he shall haue no wrong: Looke about Dauy.
Where are you Sir Iohn? Come, off with your Boots.
2845Giue me your hand M. Bardolfe.
Bard. I am glad to see your Worship.
Shal. I thanke thee, with all my heart, kinde Master
Bardolfe: and welcome my tall Fellow:
Come Sir Iohn.
2850Falstaffe. Ile follow you, good Master Robert Shallow.
Bardolfe, looke to our Horsses. If I were saw'de into
Quantities, I should make foure dozen of such bearded
Hermites staues, as Master Shallow. It is a wonderfull
thing to see the semblable Coherence of his mens spirits,
2855and his: They, by obseruing of him, do beare themselues
like foolish Iustices: Hee, by conuersing with them, is
turn'd into a Iustice-like Seruingman. Their spirits are
so married in Coniunction, with the participation of So-
ciety, that they flocke together in consent, like so ma-
2860ny Wilde-Geese. If I had a suite to Mayster Shallow, I
would humour his men, with the imputation of beeing
neere their Mayster. If to his Men, I would currie with
Maister Shallow, that no man could better command his
Seruants. It is certaine, that either wise bearing, or ig-
2865norant Carriage is caught, as men take diseases, one of
another: therefore, let men take heede of their Compa-
nie. I will deuise matter enough out of this Shallow, to
keepe Prince Harry in continuall Laughter, the wearing
out of sixe Fashions (which is foure Tearmes) or two Ac-
2870tions, and he shall laugh with Interuallums. O it is much
that a Lye (with a slight Oath) and a iest (with a sadde
brow) will doe, with a Fellow, that neuer had the Ache
in his shoulders. O you shall see him laugh, till his Face
be like a wet Cloake, ill laid vp.
2875Shal. Sir Iohn.
Falst. I come Master Shallow, I come Master Shallow.
Exeunt