Henry IV, Part 1 (Quarto 1, 1598)
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¶
Enter Falstalffe and Bardol.
¶Fal. Bardoll, am I not falne away vilely since this last action?
2005do I not bate? do I not dwindle? Why, my skinne hangs about
¶me like an old Ladies loose gowne. I am withered like an oulde
¶apple Iohn. Well, ile repent and that suddainly, while I am in
¶of a Church is made of, I am a Pepper corne, a brewers Horse,
¶the inside of a Church. Company, villainous company, hath been
¶the spoile of me.
¶merry. I was as vertuously giuen as a gentleman need to be, ver-
¶went to a baudy house not aboue once in a quarter of an houre,
2020paid money that I borrowed three or foure times, liued wel, and
¶Fal. Do thou amend thy face, and ile amend my life: thou art
¶our Admiral, thou bearest the lanterne in the poope, but tis in the
¶nose of thee: thou art the knight of the burning lampe.
¶but I thinke vpon hell fire, and Diues that liued in Purple: for
2035there he is in his robes burning, burning. If thou wert any waie
¶by this fire that Gods Angell. But thou art altogether giuen o-
¶uer: and wert indeede but for the light in thy face, the sonne of
¶tuus
or a ball of wildfire, theres no purchase in money. O thou
2045with thee in the night betwixt tauerne and tauerne: but the sacke
¶that thou hast drunke me, would haue bought me lights as good
¶cheape, at the dearest Chandlers in Europe. I haue maintained
¶that Sallamander of yours with fire any time this two and thirty
2050yeares, God reward me for it.
¶Bar. Zbloud, I would my face were in your belly.
¶How now dame Partlet the hen, haue you enquird
Enter host.
2055yet who pickt my pocket?
¶haire, and ile be sworne my pocket was pickt: go to, you are a
¶woman, go.
2065mine owne house before.
¶Fal. Go to. I know you well inough.
¶rell to beguile me of it, I bought you a douzen of shirts to your
2070backe.
¶Falst. Doulas, filthie Doulas. I haue giuen them away to Ba-
¶kers wiues, they haue made boulters of them.
¶Host. Now as I am a true woman, holland of viii s. an ell, you
¶and money lent you xxiiii. pound.
¶Falst. He had his part of it, let him pay.
¶Host. He, alas he is poore, he hath nothing.
¶Fal. How? poore? looke vpon his face. What call you rich? let
¶them coyne his nose, let them coyne his cheekes, ile not pay a
¶denyer: what will you make a yonker of mee? shall I not take
¶oft, that that ring was copper.
¶
Enter the prince marching, and Falstalffe meetes him
¶
playing vpon his trunchion like a fife.
¶all march?
¶Host. My Lord, I pray you heare me.
2100I loue him well, he is an honest man.
¶Host. Good my Lord heare me?
¶pockets.
¶Fal. Wilt thou beleeue me Hall, three or foure bonds of forty
2110pound a peece, and a seale ring of my grandfathers.
2115man as he is, and said he would cudgel you.
¶Prin. What he did not?
¶no more truth in thee then in a drawn fox, and for womandood
¶maid marion may be the deputies wife of the ward to thee. Go
¶you thing, go.
¶Host. Say what thing, what thing?
2125Fal. What thing? why a thing to thanke God on.
2130therwise.
2135where to haue her.
¶knowes where to haue me, thou knaue thou.
¶ought him a thousand pound.
¶million, thou owest me thy loue.
¶cudgel you.
¶Falst. Did I Bardol?
¶but as thou art prince, I feare thee as I feare the roaring of the
¶Lyons whelpe.
2155Prin. And why not as the Lyon?
¶thinke ile feare thee as I feare thy father? nay and I doo, I pray
¶God my girdle breake.
2160knees? but sirrha, theres no roome for faith, trueth, nor hone-
¶riffe. Charge an honest woman with picking thy pocket, why
¶in thy pocket but tauerne reckonings, memorandums of baudie
¶long winded, if thy pocket were inricht with any other iniuries
¶pocket vp wrong, art thou not ashamed?
¶Now Hal, to the newes at court for the robbery lad, how is that
2185answered?
¶the mony is paid backe againe.
¶Fal. O I do not like that paying backe, tis a double labor.
¶Prin. I am good friends with my father and may do any thing
¶it with vnwasht hands too.
2195Bar. Do my Lord.
¶Prin. I haue procured thee Iacke a charge of foot.
¶can steale well. O for a fine thiefe of the age of xxii. or therea-
¶bouts: I am hainously vnprouided. Well, God be thanked for
2200these rebels, they offende none but the vertuous; I laude them, I
¶praise them.
¶Prin. Bardoll.
Bar. My Lord._
¶Prin. Go beare this letter to Lord Iohn of Lancaster,
2205To my brother Iohn, this to my lord of Westmerland.
¶Haue thirty miles to ride yet ere dinner time,
¶Iacke, meete me to morrow in the temple haule
¶At two of clocke in the afternoone,
2210There shalt thou know thy charge, and there receiue
¶Money and order for their furniture,
¶The land is burning, Percy stands on high,
¶And either we or they must lower lie.
¶Oh I could wish this tauerne were my drum.
