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Henry IV, Part 1 (Quarto 1, 1598)

Author: William Shakespeare
Editor: Rosemary Gaby
Not Peer Reviewed
735
Enter Prince, Poines, and Peto, &c.
Po. Come shelter, shelter, I haue remoude Falstalffes horse,
and he frets like a gumd Veluet.
Prin. Stand close.
Enter Falstalffe.
740Falst. Poynes, Poynes, and be hangd Poynes.
Prin. Peace ye fat-kidneyd rascal, what a brawling dost thou
keepe?
Falst. Wheres Poynes Hall?
Prin. He is walkt vp to the top of the hill, Ile go seeke him.
Falst. I am accurst to rob in that theeues companie, the rascal
hath remooued my horse, and tied him I knowe not where, if I
trauell but foure foote by the squire further a foote, I shall breake
my winde. Well, I doubt not but to die a faire death for all
750this, if I scape hanging for killing that rogue. I haue forsworne
his companie hourly any time this xxii. yeares, and yet I am be-
witcht with the rogues companie. If the rascall haue not gi-
uen me medicines to make mee loue him, ile be hangd. It could
755not be else, I haue drunke medicines, Poynes, Hall, a plague
vpon you both. Bardoll, Peto, ile starue ere ile rob a foote
further, and twere not as good a deede as drinke to turne true-
man, and to leaue these rogues, I am the veriest varlet that euer
chewed with a tooth: eight yeardes of vneuen ground is three-
760score and ten myles a foote with mee, and the stonie hearted
villaines knowe it well inough, a plague vpon it when theeues
can not be true one to another:
They whistle,
Whew, a plague vpon you all, giue mee my horse you rogues,
765giue me my horse and be hangd:
Prin. Peace ye fat guts, lie downe, laie thine eare close to the
ground, and list if thou canst heare the treade of trauellers.
Falst. Haue you any leauers to lift me vp againe being down,
770zbloud ile not beare mine owne flesh so farre a foote againe for
all the coine in thy fathers Exchequer: What a plague meane
ye to colt me thus?
Prin. Thou liest, thou art not colted, thou art vncolted.
Falst. I preethe good prince, Hal, helpe me to my horse, good
775kings sonne.
Prin. Out ye rogue, shall I be your Ostler?
Falst. Hang thy selfe in thine owne heire apparant garters,
if I be tane, ile peach for this: and I haue not Ballads made on
you all, and sung to filthie tunes, let a cuppe of sacke bee my
780poyson, when a ieast is so forward, and a foote too I hate it.
Enter Gadshill.
Gad. Stand.
Falst. So I do against my will.
785Po. O tis our setter, I know his voice, Bardoll, what newes.
Bar. Case yee, case yee on with your vizards, theres money
of the kings comming downe the hill, tis going to the Kings
Exchequer.
790Falst. You lie ye rougue, tis going to the kings Tauerne.
Gad. Theres inough to make vs all:
Falst. To be hangd.
Prin. Sirs you foure shall front them in the narrowe lane: Ned
Poines, and I wil walke lower, if they scape from your encoun-
795ter, then they light on vs.
Peto. How many be there of them?
Gad. Some eight or ten.
Fal Zounds will they not rob vs?
Prin. What, a coward sir Iohn paunch.
800Fal. In deed I am not Iohn of Gaunt your grandfather, but
yet no coward, Hall.
Prin. Well, we leaue that to the proofe.
Po. Sirrha Iacke, thy horse standes behinde the hedge, when
thou needst him, there thou shalt find him: farewel & stand fast.
Fal. Now can not I strike him if I should be hangd.
Prin. Ned, where are our disguises?
Po. Here, hard by, stand close.
Fal. Now my maisters, happie man bee his dole, say I, euerie
810man to his businesse.
Enter the trauailers.
Trauel. Come neighbour, the boy shal lead our horses down
the hill, weele walke a foote a while and ease our legs.
815Theeues. Stand.
Trauel. Iesus blesse vs.
Falst. Strike, downe with them, cut the villaines throates, a
horeson Caterpillars, bacon-fed knaues, they hate vs youth,
downe with them, fleece them.
820Tra. O we are vndone, both we and ours for euer.
Fal. Hang ye gorbellied knaues, are ye vndone, no yee fatte
chuffes, I would your store were here: on bacons on, what yee
knaues yong men must liue, you are grand iurers, are ye, weele
iure ye faith.
825
Here they rob them and bind them.
Exeunt.
Enter the prince and Poynes.
Prin. The theeues haue bound the true men, nowe coulde
thou and I rob the theeues, and go merilie to London, it would
be argument for a week, laughter for a month, and a good iest
830for euer.
Po. Stand close, I heare them comming.
Enter the theeues againe.
Fal. Come my maisters, let vs share and then to horse before
day, and the Prince and Poines bee not two arrant cowardes
835theres no equitie stirring, theres no more valour in that Poynes,
then in a wilde ducke.
As they are sharing the Prince & Poins
Prin. Your money.
set vpon them, they all runne away, and
Poin. Villaines.
Falstaffe after a blow or two runs away
840
too, leauing the bootie behind them.
Prin. Got with much ease. Now merrily to horse: the theeues
are all scattered, and possest with feare so strongly, that they dare
not meete each other, each takes his fellow for an officer, awaie
good Ned, Falstalffe sweates to death, and lards the leane earth
845as he walkes along, wert not for laughing I should pittie him.
Poynes. How the rogue roard.
Exeunt.