Henry IV, Part 1 (Quarto 0, 1598)
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525By heauen me thinkes it were an easie leape,
¶To plucke bright honor from the palefac't moone,
¶Or diue into the bottome of the deepe,
¶Where fadome line could neuer touch the ground,
¶And plucke vp drowned honor by the locks,
530So he that doth redeeme her thence might weare
¶Without corriuall all her dignities,
¶But out vpon this halfe fac't fellowship.
¶Wor. He apprehends a world of figures here,
¶But not the forme of what he should attend,
535Good coosen giue me audience for a while.
¶Hot. I cry you mercy.
540Hot. Ile keepe them all;
¶By God he shal not haue a Scot of them,
¶Ile keepe them by this hand.
545And lend no eare vnto my purposes:
¶Hot. Nay I wil, thats flat:
¶Forbad my tongue to speake of Mortimer,
550But I wil find him when he lies asleepe,
¶And in his eare ile hollow Mortimer:
¶Nothing but Mortimer, and giue it him
¶To keepe his anger stil in motion.
¶Saue how to gall and pinch this Bullingbrooke,
¶But that I thinke his father loues him not,
¶I would haue him poisoned with a pot of ale.
¶when you are better temperd to attend.
565Art thou, to breake into this womans moode,
¶Tying thine eare to no tongue but thine owne.
¶Of this vile polititian Bullingbrooke,
570In Richards time, what do you cal the place?
¶Twas where the mad-cap duke his vnckle kept
¶His vncle Yorke, where I first bowed my knee
¶Vnto this king of smiles, this Bullingbrooke:
575Zbloud, when you and he came backe from Rauenspurgh.
¶Why what a candy deale of curtesie,
¶This fawning greyhound then did proffer me,
580Looke when his infant fortune came to age,
¶And gentle Harry Percy, and kind coosen:
¶Good vncle tel your tale, I haue done.
¶Wor. Nay, if you haue not, to it againe,
¶Hot. I haue done Ifaith.
¶And make the Douglas sonne your onely meane
590For Powers in Scotland, which for diuers reasons
¶Wil easely be granted you my Lord.
¶Your sonne in Scotland being thus emploied,
595Of that same noble Prelat wel belou'd,
¶The Archbishop.
¶Hot. Of Yorke, is it not?
¶Wor. True, who beares hard
¶His brothers death at Bristow the lord Scroop,
¶As what I thinke might be, but what I know
¶Is ruminated, plotted, and set downe,
¶And onely stayes but to behold the face
¶And then the power of Scotland, and of Yorke,
610To ioyne with Mortimer, ha.
¶Hot, In faith it is exceedingly well, aimd.
615[F]or beare our selues as euen as we can,
¶[T]he king will alwayes thinke him in our debt,
¶Till he hath found a time to pay vs home,
¶And see alreadie how he doth begin
620To make vs strangers to his lookes of loue.
¶Hot. He does, he does, weele be reuengd on him.
¶When time is ripe, which will be suddenly,
625Ile steale to Glendower, and Lo: Mortimer,
¶Where you and Douglas, and our powers at once,
¶To beare out fortunes in our owne strong armes,
¶Which now we hold at much vncertaintie.
¶Till fields, and blowes, and grones, applaud our sport.
Exeunt.
¶
Enter a Carrier with a lanterne in his hand.
6351 Car. Heigh ho. An it be not foure by the day ile be hangd,
¶Charles-waine is ouer the new Chimney, and yet our horse not
¶packt. What Ostler.
¶Ost. Anon, anon.
¶
Enter another Carier.
¶it was the death of him.
650don road for fleas, I am stung like a Tench.
¶2 Car. Why, they will allowe vs nere a Iordan, and then
655we leake in your Chimney, and your chamber-lie breedes fleas
¶like a loach.
¶heade? canst not heare, and twere not as good deed as drinke to
¶break the pate on thee, I am a verie villain, come and be hangd,
665hast no faith in thee?
¶
Enter Gadshill:
¶Gadshill. Good morrow Cariers, whats a clocke?
¶Car: I thinke it be two a clocke.
670stable.
¶I fayth.
¶Gad: I pray thee lend me thine.
¶Gad. Sirrha Carrier, what time do you meane to come to
¶London?
¶2 Car. Time enough to go to bed with a candle, I warrant
¶thee, come neighbour Mugs, weele call vp the Gentlemen,
680[t]hey will along with companie, for they haue great charge.
¶Gad. What ho: Chamberlaine.
685Gad. Thats euen as faire as at hand quoth the Chamberlaine:
¶rection doth from labouring: thou layest the plot how.
690I tolde you yesternight, ther's a Frankelin in the wild of Kent
¶hath brought three hundred Markes with him in golde, I heard
¶Auditor, one that hath abundance of charge too, God knowes
¶what, they are vp alreadie, and call for Egges and Butter, they
695will away presently.
¶Gad: Sirrha, if they meete not with Saint Nicholas clearkes,
¶[ile] giue thee this necke.
¶[a] man of falshood may.
¶a fat paire of Gallowes: for if I hang, olde sir Iohn hangs with
¶worms, but with nobilitie, & tranquilitie, Burgomasters & great
¶yet (zoundes) I lie, for they pray continually to their Saint the
715Common-wealth, or rather not pray to her, but pray on her, for
¶they ride vp and downe on her, and make her their bootes.
¶hold out water in foule way?
¶walke inuisible.
¶Cham: Nay by my faith, I thinke you are more beholding to
¶chase, as I am a true man.
¶ler bring my gelding out of the stable, farewell you muddye
¶knaue.
735
Enter Prince, Poynes, and Peto, &c.
¶and he frets like a gumd Veluet.
Enter Falstalffe._
740Fal. Poynes, Poynes, and be hangd Poynes.
¶thou keepe?
¶Fal. Wheres Poynes Hall?
¶hath remooued my horse, and tied him I knowe not where, if I
¶my winde. Well, I doubt not but to die a faire death for all
¶his companie hourly any time this xxii. yeares, and yet I am be-
¶uen me medicines to make mee loue him, ile be hangd. It could
755not be else, I haue drunke medicines. Poynes, Hall, a plague
¶vpon you both. Bardol, Peto, ile starue ere ile robbe a foote
¶further, and twere not as good a deed as drinke to turne true-
¶chewed with a tooth: Eight yeards of vneuen ground is three-
¶villiaines knowe it well enough, a plague vpon it when theeues
¶cannot be true one to another.
¶
They whistle,
¶Whew, a plague vpon you all, giue mee my horse you rogues,
765giue me my horse and be hangd:
¶lers.
¶Falst. Haue you any leauers to lift me vp againe being down,
¶all the coyne in thy fathers Exchequer: What a plague meane
¶ye to colt me thus?
775kings sonne.
¶if I be tane, ile peach for this: and I haue not Ballads made on
¶
Enter Gadshill.
¶of the kings comming downe the hill, tis going to the Kinges
¶Exchequer.
790Fal. You lie, ye rogue, [tis] going to the kings tauerne.
¶Gad. Theres enough to make vs all.
¶Fal. To be hangd.
795ter, then they light on vs.
¶Peto. How many be there of them?
¶Gad. Some eight or ten.
¶Fal. Zounds will they not rob vs?
800Fast. In deed I am not Iohn of Gaunt your grandfather, but
¶yet no coward, Hall.
¶Pr. Well, we leaue that to the proofe.
Enter the trauailers._
¶the hill, weele walke a foote a while and ease our legs.
¶Falst. Strike, downe with them, cut the villaines throates, a
¶horesone Caterpillers, bacon-fed knaues, they hate vs youth,
¶downe with them, fleece them.
820Tra. O we are vndone, both we and ours for euer.
¶Fal. Hang ye gorbellied knaues, are yee vndone, no ye fatte
¶chuffes I woulde your store were here: on bacons on, what yee
¶knaues yong men must liue, you are grand iurers, are ye, weele
¶iure ye faith.
825
Here they rob them and bind them.
Exeunt._
¶
Enter the Prince and Poynes.
¶Pr. The theeues haue bounde the true men, nowe coulde
¶thou and I rob the theeues, and go merrily to London, it woulde
¶be argument for a weeke, laughter for a month, and a good ieast
830for euer.
¶
Enter the theeues againe.
¶day, and the prince and Poynes bee not two arrant cowardes
835theres no equitie stirring, theres no more valour in that Poynes,
¶then in a wilde ducke.
¶
As they are sharing the prince & Poins
¶Pr. Your money.
set vpon them, they all runne away, and
840
too, leauing the bootie behind them._
¶not meete each other, each takes his fellowe for an officer, away
845as he walkes along, wert not for laughing I should pittie him.
¶Po. How the fat rogue roard.
Exeunt._
