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Henry IV, Part 1 (Quarto 0, 1598)

Author: William Shakespeare
Editor: Rosemary Gaby
Not Peer Reviewed
525By heauen me thinkes it were an easie leape,
To plucke bright honor from the palefac't moone,
Or diue into the bottome of the deepe,
Where fadome line could neuer touch the ground,
And plucke vp drowned honor by the locks,
530So he that doth redeeme her thence might weare
Without corriuall all her dignities,
But out vpon this halfe fac't fellowship.
Wor. He apprehends a world of figures here,
But not the forme of what he should attend,
535Good coosen giue me audience for a while.
Hot. I cry you mercy.
Wor. Those same noble Scots that are your prisoners.
540Hot. Ile keepe them all;
By God he shal not haue a Scot of them,
No, if a Scot would saue his soule he shal not,
Ile keepe them by this hand.
Wor. You, start away,
545And lend no eare vnto my purposes:
Those prisoners you shal keepe.
Hot. Nay I wil, thats flat:
He said he would not ransome Mortimer,
Forbad my tongue to speake of Mortimer,
550But I wil find him when he lies asleepe,
And in his eare ile hollow Mortimer:
Nay, ile haue a starling shalbe taught to speake
Nothing but Mortimer, and giue it him
To keepe his anger stil in motion.
555Wor. Heare you cosen a word.
Hot. All studies here I sollemnly defie,
Saue how to gall and pinch this Bullingbrooke,
And that same sword and buckler prince of Wales,
But that I thinke his father loues him not,
560And would be glad he met with some mischance:
I would haue him poisoned with a pot of ale.
Wor. Farewel kinsman, ile talke to you
when you are better temperd to attend.
North. Why what a waspe-stung and impatient foole
565Art thou, to breake into this womans moode,
Tying thine eare to no tongue but thine owne.
Hot. Why looke you? I am whip and scourgd with rods,
Netled, and stung with pismires, when I heare
Of this vile polititian Bullingbrooke,
570In Richards time, what do you cal the place?
A plague vpon it, it is in Glocestershire;
Twas where the mad-cap duke his vnckle kept
His vncle Yorke, where I first bowed my knee
Vnto this king of smiles, this Bullingbrooke:
575Zbloud, when you and he came backe from Rauenspurgh.
North. At Barkly castle.
Hot. You say true.
Why what a candy deale of curtesie,
This fawning greyhound then did proffer me,
580Looke when his infant fortune came to age,
And gentle Harry Percy, and kind coosen:
O the diuel take such coosoners, god forgiue me,
Good vncle tel your tale, I haue done.
Wor. Nay, if you haue not, to it againe,
585We wil stay your leisure.
Hot. I haue done Ifaith.
Wor. Then once more to your Scottish prisoners,
Deliuer them vp without their ransome straight,
And make the Douglas sonne your onely meane
590For Powers in Scotland, which for diuers reasons
Which I shall send you written, be assur'd
Wil easely be granted you my Lord.
Your sonne in Scotland being thus emploied,
Shal secretly into the bosome creepe
595Of that same noble Prelat wel belou'd,
The Archbishop.
Hot. Of Yorke, is it not?
Wor. True, who beares hard
His brothers death at Bristow the lord Scroop,
600I speake not this in estimation,
As what I thinke might be, but what I know
Is ruminated, plotted, and set downe,
And onely stayes but to behold the face
Of that occasion that shal bring it on.
605Hot. I smell it. Vpon my life it will do well:
Nort. Before the game is afoote thou still letst slip.
Hot. Why, it cannot chuse but be a noble plot,
And then the power of Scotland, and of Yorke,
610To ioyne with Mortimer, ha.
Wor. And so they shall.
Hot, In faith it is exceedingly well, aimd.
Wor. And tis no little reason bids vs speed,
To saue our heades by raising of a head,
615[F]or beare our selues as euen as we can,
[T]he king will alwayes thinke him in our debt,
And thinke we thinke our selues vnsatisfied,
Till he hath found a time to pay vs home,
And see alreadie how he doth begin
620To make vs strangers to his lookes of loue.
Hot. He does, he does, weele be reuengd on him.
Wor. Coosen farewell. No further go in this,
Then I by letters shall direct your course
When time is ripe, which will be suddenly,
625Ile steale to Glendower, and Lo: Mortimer,
Where you and Douglas, and our powers at once,
As I will fashion it shall happily meete,
To beare out fortunes in our owne strong armes,
Which now we hold at much vncertaintie.
630Nor. Farewell good brother, we shall thriue I trust.
Hot. Vncle adieu: O let the houres be short,
Till fields, and blowes, and grones, applaud our sport.
Exeunt.
Enter a Carrier with a lanterne in his hand.
6351 Car. Heigh ho. An it be not foure by the day ile be hangd,
Charles-waine is ouer the new Chimney, and yet our horse not
packt. What Ostler.
Ost. Anon, anon.
1 Car. I preethe Tom beat Cuts saddle, put a few flockes in
640the point, poore iade is wroong in the withers, out of all cesse.
Enter another Carier.
2 Car. Pease and beanes are as danke here as a dog, and that
is the next way to giue poore iades the bottes: this house is tur-
645ned vpside downe since Robin Ostler died.
1 Car. Poore fellow neuer ioyed since the prise of Oates rose,
it was the death of him.
2 Car. I thinke this bee the most villainous house in all Lon-
650don road for fleas, I am stung like a Tench.
1 Car. Like a Tench, by the Masse there is nere a King chri-
sten could be better bit then I haue bin since the first cocke.
2 Car. Why, they will allowe vs nere a Iordan, and then
655we leake in your Chimney, and your chamber-lie breedes fleas
like a loach.
1 Car. What Ostler, come away and be hangd, come away.
2 Car. I haue a gammon of bacon, and two razes of Gin-
660ger, to be deliuered as far as Charing Crosse.
1 Car. Gods bodie, the Turkies in my Panier are quite star-
ued: what Ostler? a plague on thee, hast thou neuer an eie in thy
heade? canst not heare, and twere not as good deed as drinke to
break the pate on thee, I am a verie villain, come and be hangd,
665hast no faith in thee?
Enter Gadshill:
Gadshill. Good morrow Cariers, whats a clocke?
Car: I thinke it be two a clocke.
Gad: I preethe lend me thy lanterne, to see my gelding in the
670stable.
1 Car: Nay by God soft, I knowe a trike worth two of that
I fayth.
Gad: I pray thee lend me thine.
2 Car. I when canst tell? lend mee thy lanterne (quoth he)
675marry ile see thee hangd first.
Gad. Sirrha Carrier, what time do you meane to come to
London?
2 Car. Time enough to go to bed with a candle, I warrant
thee, come neighbour Mugs, weele call vp the Gentlemen,
680[t]hey will along with companie, for they haue great charge.
Enter Chamberlaine,
Exeunt.
Gad. What ho: Chamberlaine.
Cham. At hand quoth pickepurse.
685Gad. Thats euen as faire as at hand quoth the Chamberlaine:
for thou variest no more from picking of purses, then giuing di-
rection doth from labouring: thou layest the plot how.
Cham: Good morrow maister Gadshil, it holdes currant that
690I tolde you yesternight, ther's a Frankelin in the wild of Kent
hath brought three hundred Markes with him in golde, I heard
him tell it to one of his company last night at supper, a kinde of
Auditor, one that hath abundance of charge too, God knowes
what, they are vp alreadie, and call for Egges and Butter, they
695will away presently.
Gad: Sirrha, if they meete not with Saint Nicholas clearkes,
[ile] giue thee this necke.
Cham. No, ile none of it, I pray thee keepe that for the hang-
700[ma]n, for I know thou worshippest Saine Nicholas, as trulie as
[a] man of falshood may.
Ga. What talkest thou to me of the h|~a|gman? if I hang, ile make
a fat paire of Gallowes: for if I hang, olde sir Iohn hangs with
me, and thou knowest he is no starueling: tut, there are other
705Troyans that thou dreamst not of, the which for sport sake
are content to do the profession, some grace, that would (if mat-
ters should be lookt into) for their owne credit sake make all
whole.I am ioyned with no footland rakers, no long-staffe six-
710pennie strikers, none of these mad mustachio purplehewd malt-
worms, but with nobilitie, & tranquilitie, Burgomasters & great
Oneyres, such as can hold in such as wil strike sooner then speak,
and speake sooner then drinke, and drinke sooner then pray, and
yet (zoundes) I lie, for they pray continually to their Saint the
715Common-wealth, or rather not pray to her, but pray on her, for
they ride vp and downe on her, and make her their bootes.
Cham. What, the Common-wealth their bootes? will shee
hold out water in foule way?
720Gad. She will, she will, Iustice hath liquord her: wee steale as
in a Castell cocksure: we haue the receyte of Ferneseede, wee
walke inuisible.
Cham: Nay by my faith, I thinke you are more beholding to
the night then to Ferneseed, for your walking inuisible.
Gad. Giue me thy hand, thou shalt haue a share in our pur-
chase, as I am a true man.
Cham. Nay rather let me haue it, as you are a false theefe.
Gad. Go to, homo is a common name to al men: bid the Ost-
ler bring my gelding out of the stable, farewell you muddye
knaue.
735
Enter Prince, Poynes, and Peto, &c.
Po. Come shelter, shelter, I haue remoude Falstalffes horse,
and he frets like a gumd Veluet.
Pr. Stand close:
Enter Falstalffe.
740Fal. Poynes, Poynes, and be hangd Poynes.
Pr. Peace yee fat-kidneyd rascall, what a brawling dost
thou keepe?
Fal. Wheres Poynes Hall?
Pr. He is walkt vp to the top of the hill, Ile go seeke him.
Fal. I am accurst to rob in that theeues companie, the rascall
hath remooued my horse, and tied him I knowe not where, if I
trauell but foure foote by the squire further a foote, I shall breake
my winde. Well, I doubt not but to die a faire death for all
750this, if I scape hanging for killing that rogue. I haue forsworne
his companie hourly any time this xxii. yeares, and yet I am be-
witcht with the rogues companie. If the rascall haue not gi-
uen me medicines to make mee loue him, ile be hangd. It could
755not be else, I haue drunke medicines. Poynes, Hall, a plague
vpon you both. Bardol, Peto, ile starue ere ile robbe a foote
further, and twere not as good a deed as drinke to turne true-
man, and to leaue these rogues, I am the veriest varlet that euer
chewed with a tooth: Eight yeards of vneuen ground is three-
760score and ten myles a foote with mee, and the stonie hearted
villiaines knowe it well enough, a plague vpon it when theeues
cannot be true one to another.
They whistle,
Whew, a plague vpon you all, giue mee my horse you rogues,
765giue me my horse and be hangd:
Pr. Peace yee fatte guts, lie downe, lay thine eare [close to]
the grounde, and list if thou canst heare the treade of trauay-
lers.
Falst. Haue you any leauers to lift me vp againe being down,
770zbloud ile not beare my owne flesh so farre a foote againe for
all the coyne in thy fathers Exchequer: What a plague meane
ye to colt me thus?
Pr. Thou liest, thou art not colted, thou art vncolted.
Falst. I preethe good prince, Hall, helpe me to my horse, good
775kings sonne.
Pr. Out ye rogue, shall I be your Ostler?
Falst. Hang thy selfe in thine owne heire apparant garters,
if I be tane, ile peach for this: and I haue not Ballads made on
you all, and sung to filthie tunes, let a cuppe of sacke bee my
780poyson, when a ieast is so forward, and a foote too I hate it.
Enter Gadshill.
Gad. Stand.
Fal. So I do against my will.
785Po. O tis our setter, I knowe his voice. Bardoll, what newes.
Bar. Case ye, case yee on with your vizardes, theres mony
of the kings comming downe the hill, tis going to the Kinges
Exchequer.
790Fal. You lie, ye rogue, [tis] going to the kings tauerne.
Gad. Theres enough to make vs all.
Fal. To be hangd.
Pr. Sirs, you foure shall front them in the narrowe lane: Ned
Poynes, and I will walke lower, if they scape from your encoun-
795ter, then they light on vs.
Peto. How many be there of them?
Gad. Some eight or ten.
Fal. Zounds will they not rob vs?
Pr. What, a coward sir Iohn paunch.
800Fast. In deed I am not Iohn of Gaunt your grandfather, but
yet no coward, Hall.
Pr. Well, we leaue that to the proofe.
Po. Sirrha Iacke, thy horse standes behinde the hedge, when
thou needst him, there thou shalt find him: farewel & stand fast.
Fast. Now can not I strike him if I should be hangd.
[Pr]. Ned, where are our disguises?
Po. Here, hard by, stand close.
Falst. Now my maisters, happieman be his dole, say I, euerie
810man to his businesse.
Enter the trauailers.
Trauel. Come neighbour, the boy shal lead our horses down
the hill, weele walke a foote a while and ease our legs.
815Theeues. Stand.
Trauel. Iesus blesse vs.
Falst. Strike, downe with them, cut the villaines throates, a
horesone Caterpillers, bacon-fed knaues, they hate vs youth,
downe with them, fleece them.
820Tra. O we are vndone, both we and ours for euer.
Fal. Hang ye gorbellied knaues, are yee vndone, no ye fatte
chuffes I woulde your store were here: on bacons on, what yee
knaues yong men must liue, you are grand iurers, are ye, weele
iure ye faith.
825
Here they rob them and bind them.
Exeunt.
Enter the Prince and Poynes.
Pr. The theeues haue bounde the true men, nowe coulde
thou and I rob the theeues, and go merrily to London, it woulde
be argument for a weeke, laughter for a month, and a good ieast
830for euer.
Po. Stand close, I heare them comming.
Enter the theeues againe.
Fal. Come my maisters, let vs share and then to horse before
day, and the prince and Poynes bee not two arrant cowardes
835theres no equitie stirring, theres no more valour in that Poynes,
then in a wilde ducke.
As they are sharing the prince & Poins
Pr. Your money.
set vpon them, they all runne away, and
Po. Villaines.
Falstalffe after a blow or two runs away
840
too, leauing the bootie behind them.
Prin. Got with much ease. Now merrily to horse: the theeues
are al scattered, and possest with feare so strongly, that they dare
not meete each other, each takes his fellowe for an officer, away
good Ned, Falstalffe sweates to death, and lards the leane earth
845as he walkes along, wert not for laughing I should pittie him.
Po. How the fat rogue roard.
Exeunt.