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Henry IV, Part 1 (Quarto 0, 1598)

Author: William Shakespeare
Editor: Rosemary Gaby
Not Peer Reviewed
735
Enter Prince, Poynes, and Peto, &c.
Po. Come shelter, shelter, I haue remoude Falstalffes horse,
and he frets like a gumd Veluet.
Pr. Stand close:
Enter Falstalffe.
740Fal. Poynes, Poynes, and be hangd Poynes.
Pr. Peace yee fat-kidneyd rascall, what a brawling dost
thou keepe?
Fal. Wheres Poynes Hall?
Pr. He is walkt vp to the top of the hill, Ile go seeke him.
Fal. I am accurst to rob in that theeues companie, the rascall
hath remooued my horse, and tied him I knowe not where, if I
trauell but foure foote by the squire further a foote, I shall breake
my winde. Well, I doubt not but to die a faire death for all
750this, if I scape hanging for killing that rogue. I haue forsworne
his companie hourly any time this xxii. yeares, and yet I am be-
witcht with the rogues companie. If the rascall haue not gi-
uen me medicines to make mee loue him, ile be hangd. It could
755not be else, I haue drunke medicines. Poynes, Hall, a plague
vpon you both. Bardol, Peto, ile starue ere ile robbe a foote
further, and twere not as good a deed as drinke to turne true-
man, and to leaue these rogues, I am the veriest varlet that euer
chewed with a tooth: Eight yeards of vneuen ground is three-
760score and ten myles a foote with mee, and the stonie hearted
villiaines knowe it well enough, a plague vpon it when theeues
cannot be true one to another.
They whistle,
Whew, a plague vpon you all, giue mee my horse you rogues,
765giue me my horse and be hangd:
Pr. Peace yee fatte guts, lie downe, lay thine eare [close to]
the grounde, and list if thou canst heare the treade of trauay-
lers.
Falst. Haue you any leauers to lift me vp againe being down,
770zbloud ile not beare my owne flesh so farre a foote againe for
all the coyne in thy fathers Exchequer: What a plague meane
ye to colt me thus?
Pr. Thou liest, thou art not colted, thou art vncolted.
Falst. I preethe good prince, Hall, helpe me to my horse, good
775kings sonne.
Pr. Out ye rogue, shall I be your Ostler?
Falst. Hang thy selfe in thine owne heire apparant garters,
if I be tane, ile peach for this: and I haue not Ballads made on
you all, and sung to filthie tunes, let a cuppe of sacke bee my
780poyson, when a ieast is so forward, and a foote too I hate it.
Enter Gadshill.
Gad. Stand.
Fal. So I do against my will.
785Po. O tis our setter, I knowe his voice. Bardoll, what newes.
Bar. Case ye, case yee on with your vizardes, theres mony
of the kings comming downe the hill, tis going to the Kinges
Exchequer.
790Fal. You lie, ye rogue, [tis] going to the kings tauerne.
Gad. Theres enough to make vs all.
Fal. To be hangd.
Pr. Sirs, you foure shall front them in the narrowe lane: Ned
Poynes, and I will walke lower, if they scape from your encoun-
795ter, then they light on vs.
Peto. How many be there of them?
Gad. Some eight or ten.
Fal. Zounds will they not rob vs?
Pr. What, a coward sir Iohn paunch.
800Fast. In deed I am not Iohn of Gaunt your grandfather, but
yet no coward, Hall.
Pr. Well, we leaue that to the proofe.
Po. Sirrha Iacke, thy horse standes behinde the hedge, when
thou needst him, there thou shalt find him: farewel & stand fast.
Fast. Now can not I strike him if I should be hangd.
[Pr]. Ned, where are our disguises?
Po. Here, hard by, stand close.
Falst. Now my maisters, happieman be his dole, say I, euerie
810man to his businesse.
Enter the trauailers.
Trauel. Come neighbour, the boy shal lead our horses down
the hill, weele walke a foote a while and ease our legs.
815Theeues. Stand.
Trauel. Iesus blesse vs.
Falst. Strike, downe with them, cut the villaines throates, a
horesone Caterpillers, bacon-fed knaues, they hate vs youth,
downe with them, fleece them.
820Tra. O we are vndone, both we and ours for euer.
Fal. Hang ye gorbellied knaues, are yee vndone, no ye fatte
chuffes I woulde your store were here: on bacons on, what yee
knaues yong men must liue, you are grand iurers, are ye, weele
iure ye faith.
825
Here they rob them and bind them.
Exeunt.
Enter the Prince and Poynes.
Pr. The theeues haue bounde the true men, nowe coulde
thou and I rob the theeues, and go merrily to London, it woulde
be argument for a weeke, laughter for a month, and a good ieast
830for euer.
Po. Stand close, I heare them comming.
Enter the theeues againe.
Fal. Come my maisters, let vs share and then to horse before
day, and the prince and Poynes bee not two arrant cowardes
835theres no equitie stirring, theres no more valour in that Poynes,
then in a wilde ducke.
As they are sharing the prince & Poins
Pr. Your money.
set vpon them, they all runne away, and
Po. Villaines.
Falstalffe after a blow or two runs away
840
too, leauing the bootie behind them.
Prin. Got with much ease. Now merrily to horse: the theeues
are al scattered, and possest with feare so strongly, that they dare
not meete each other, each takes his fellowe for an officer, away
good Ned, Falstalffe sweates to death, and lards the leane earth
845as he walkes along, wert not for laughing I should pittie him.
Po. How the fat rogue roard.
Exeunt.