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Henry IV, Part 1 (Quarto 0, 1598)

Author: William Shakespeare
Editor: Rosemary Gaby
Not Peer Reviewed
Enter a Carrier with a lanterne in his hand.
6351 Car. Heigh ho. An it be not foure by the day ile be hangd,
Charles-waine is ouer the new Chimney, and yet our horse not
packt. What Ostler.
Ost. Anon, anon.
1 Car. I preethe Tom beat Cuts saddle, put a few flockes in
640the point, poore iade is wroong in the withers, out of all cesse.
Enter another Carier.
2 Car. Pease and beanes are as danke here as a dog, and that
is the next way to giue poore iades the bottes: this house is tur-
645ned vpside downe since Robin Ostler died.
1 Car. Poore fellow neuer ioyed since the prise of Oates rose,
it was the death of him.
2 Car. I thinke this bee the most villainous house in all Lon-
650don road for fleas, I am stung like a Tench.
1 Car. Like a Tench, by the Masse there is nere a King chri-
sten could be better bit then I haue bin since the first cocke.
2 Car. Why, they will allowe vs nere a Iordan, and then
655we leake in your Chimney, and your chamber-lie breedes fleas
like a loach.
1 Car. What Ostler, come away and be hangd, come away.
2 Car. I haue a gammon of bacon, and two razes of Gin-
660ger, to be deliuered as far as Charing Crosse.
1 Car. Gods bodie, the Turkies in my Panier are quite star-
ued: what Ostler? a plague on thee, hast thou neuer an eie in thy
heade? canst not heare, and twere not as good deed as drinke to
break the pate on thee, I am a verie villain, come and be hangd,
665hast no faith in thee?
Enter Gadshill:
Gadshill. Good morrow Cariers, whats a clocke?
Car: I thinke it be two a clocke.
Gad: I preethe lend me thy lanterne, to see my gelding in the
670stable.
1 Car: Nay by God soft, I knowe a trike worth two of that
I fayth.
Gad: I pray thee lend me thine.
2 Car. I when canst tell? lend mee thy lanterne (quoth he)
675marry ile see thee hangd first.
Gad. Sirrha Carrier, what time do you meane to come to
London?
2 Car. Time enough to go to bed with a candle, I warrant
thee, come neighbour Mugs, weele call vp the Gentlemen,
680[t]hey will along with companie, for they haue great charge.
Enter Chamberlaine,
Exeunt.
Gad. What ho: Chamberlaine.
Cham. At hand quoth pickepurse.
685Gad. Thats euen as faire as at hand quoth the Chamberlaine:
for thou variest no more from picking of purses, then giuing di-
rection doth from labouring: thou layest the plot how.
Cham: Good morrow maister Gadshil, it holdes currant that
690I tolde you yesternight, ther's a Frankelin in the wild of Kent
hath brought three hundred Markes with him in golde, I heard
him tell it to one of his company last night at supper, a kinde of
Auditor, one that hath abundance of charge too, God knowes
what, they are vp alreadie, and call for Egges and Butter, they
695will away presently.
Gad: Sirrha, if they meete not with Saint Nicholas clearkes,
[ile] giue thee this necke.
Cham. No, ile none of it, I pray thee keepe that for the hang-
700[ma]n, for I know thou worshippest Saine Nicholas, as trulie as
[a] man of falshood may.
Ga. What talkest thou to me of the h|~a|gman? if I hang, ile make
a fat paire of Gallowes: for if I hang, olde sir Iohn hangs with
me, and thou knowest he is no starueling: tut, there are other
705Troyans that thou dreamst not of, the which for sport sake
are content to do the profession, some grace, that would (if mat-
ters should be lookt into) for their owne credit sake make all
whole.I am ioyned with no footland rakers, no long-staffe six-
710pennie strikers, none of these mad mustachio purplehewd malt-
worms, but with nobilitie, & tranquilitie, Burgomasters & great
Oneyres, such as can hold in such as wil strike sooner then speak,
and speake sooner then drinke, and drinke sooner then pray, and
yet (zoundes) I lie, for they pray continually to their Saint the
715Common-wealth, or rather not pray to her, but pray on her, for
they ride vp and downe on her, and make her their bootes.
Cham. What, the Common-wealth their bootes? will shee
hold out water in foule way?
720Gad. She will, she will, Iustice hath liquord her: wee steale as
in a Castell cocksure: we haue the receyte of Ferneseede, wee
walke inuisible.
Cham: Nay by my faith, I thinke you are more beholding to
the night then to Ferneseed, for your walking inuisible.
Gad. Giue me thy hand, thou shalt haue a share in our pur-
chase, as I am a true man.
Cham. Nay rather let me haue it, as you are a false theefe.
Gad. Go to, homo is a common name to al men: bid the Ost-
ler bring my gelding out of the stable, farewell you muddye
knaue.