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Henry IV, Part 1 (Folio 1 1623)

Author: William Shakespeare
Editor: Rosemary Gaby
Not Peer Reviewed
Scæna Secunda.
Enter Henry Prince of Wales, Sir Iohn Fal-
staffe, and Pointz.
115Fal. Now Hal, what time of day is it Lad?
Prince. Thou art so fat-witted with drinking of olde
Sacke, and vnbuttoning thee after Supper, and sleeping
vpon Benches in the afternoone, that thou hast forgotten
to demand that truely, which thou wouldest truly know.
120What a diuell hast thou to do with the time of the day?
vnlesse houres were cups of Sacke, and minutes Capons,
and clockes the tongues of Bawdes, and dialls the signes
of Leaping-houses, and the blessed Sunne himselfe a faire
hot Wench in Flame-coloured Taffata; I see no reason,
125why thou shouldest bee so superfluous, to demaund the
time of the day.
Fal. Indeed you come neere me now Hal, for we that
take Purses, go by the Moone and seuen Starres, and not
by Phoebus hee, that wand'ring Knight so faire. And I
130prythee sweet Wagge, when thou art King, as God saue
thy Grace, Maiesty I should say, for Grace thou wilte
haue none.
Prin. What, none?
Fal. No, not so much as will serue to be Prologue to
135an Egge and Butter.
Prin. Well, how then? Come roundly, roundly.
Fal. Marry then, sweet Wagge, when thou art King,
let not vs that are Squires of the Nights bodie, bee call'd
Theeues of the Dayes beautie. Let vs be Dianaes Forre-
140sters, Gentlemen of the Shade, Minions of the Moone;
and let men say, we be men of good Gouernment, being
gouerned as the Sea is, by our noble and chast mistris the
Moone, vnder whose countenance we steale.
Prin. Thou say'st well, and it holds well too: for the
145fortune of vs that are the Moones men, doeth ebbe and
flow like the Sea, beeing gouerned as the Sea is, by the
Moone: as for proofe. Now a Purse of Gold most reso-
lutely snatch'd on Monday night, and most dissolutely
spent on Tuesday Morning; got with swearing, Lay by:
150and spent with crying, Bring in: now, in as low an ebbe
as the foot of the Ladder, and by and by in as high a flow
as the ridge of the Gallowes.
Fal. Thou say'st true Lad: and is not my Hostesse of
the Tauerne a most sweet Wench?
155Prin. As is the hony, my old Lad of the Castle: and is
not a Buffe Ierkin a most sweet robe of durance?
Fal. How now? how now mad Wagge? What in thy
quips and thy quiddities? What a plague haue I to doe
with a Buffe-Ierkin?
160Prin. Why, what a poxe haue I to doe with my Ho-
stesse of the Tauerne?
Fal. Well, thou hast call'd her to a reck'ning many a
time and oft.
Prin. Did I euer call for thee to pay thy part?
165Fal. No, Ile giue thee thy due, thou hast paid al there.
Prin. Yea and elsewhere, so farre as my Coine would
stretch, and where it would not, I haue vs'd my credit.
Fal. Yea, and so vs'd it, that were it heere apparant,
that thou art Heire apparant. But I prythee sweet Wag,
170shall there be Gallowes standing in England when thou
art King? and resolution thus fobb'd as it is, with the ru-
stie curbe of old Father Anticke the Law? Doe not thou
when thou art a King, hang a Theefe.
Prin. No, thou shalt.
175Fal. Shall I? O rare! Ile be a braue Iudge.
Prin. Thou iudgest false already. I meane, thou shalt
haue the hanging of the Theeues, and so become a rare
Hangman.
Fal. Well Hal, well: and in some sort it iumpes with
180my humour, as well as waiting in the Court, I can tell
you.
Prin. For obtaining of suites?
Fal. Yea, for obtaining of suites, whereof the Hang-
man hath no leane Wardrobe. I am as Melancholly as a
185Gyb-Cat, or a lugg'd Beare.
Prin. Or an old Lyon, or a Louers Lute.
Fal. Yea, or the Drone of a Lincolnshire Bagpipe.
Prin. What say'st thou to a Hare, or the Melancholly
of Moore Ditch?
190Fal. Thou hast the most vnsauoury smiles, and art in-
deed the most comparatiue rascallest sweet yong Prince.
But Hal, I prythee trouble me no more with vanity, I wold
thou and I knew, where a Commodity of good names
were to be bought: an olde Lord of the Councell rated
195me the other day in the street about you sir; but I mark'd
him not, and yet hee talk'd very wisely, but I regarded
him not, and yet he talkt wisely, and in the street too.
Prin. Thou didst well: for no man regards it.
Fal. O, thou hast damnable iteration, and art indeede
200able to corrupt a Saint. Thou hast done much harme vn-
to me Hall, God forgiue thee for it. Before I knew thee
Hal, I knew nothing: and now I am (if a man shold speake
truly) little better then one of the wicked. I must giue o-
uer this life, and I will giue it ouer: and I do not, I am a
205Villaine. Ile be damn'd for neuer a Kings sonne in Chri-
stendome.
Prin. Where shall we take a purse to morrow, Iacke?
Fal. Where thou wilt Lad, Ile make one: and I doe
not, call me Villaine, and baffle me.
210Prin. I see a good amendment of life in thee: From
Praying, to Purse-taking.
Fal. Why, Hal, 'tis my Vocation Hal: 'Tis no sin for a
man to labour in his Vocation.
Pointz. Now shall wee know if Gads hill haue set a
215Watch. O, if men were to be saued by merit, what hole
in Hell were hot enough for him? This is the most omni-
potent Villaine, that euer cryed, Stand, to a true man.
Prin. Good morrow Ned.
Poines. Good morrow sweet Hal. What saies Mon-
220sieur Remorse? What sayes Sir Iohn Sacke and Sugar:
Iacke? How agrees the Diuell and thee about thy Soule,
that thou soldest him on Good-Friday last, for a Cup of
Madera, and a cold Capons legge?
Prin. Sir Iohn stands to his word, the diuel shall haue
225his bargaine, for he was neuer yet a Breaker of Prouerbs:
He will giue the diuell his due.
Poin. Then art thou damn'd for keeping thy word with
the diuell.
Prin. Else he had damn'd for cozening the diuell.
230Poy. But my Lads, my Lads, to morrow morning, by
foure a clocke early at Gads hill, there are Pilgrimes go-
ing to Canterbury with rich Offerings, and Traders ri-
ding to London with fat Purses. I haue vizards for you
all; you haue horses for your selues: Gads-hill lyes to
235night in Rochester, I haue bespoke Supper to morrow in
Eastcheape; we may doe it as secure as sleepe: if you will
go, I will stuffe your Purses full of Crownes: if you will
not, tarry at home and be hang'd.
Fal. Heare ye Yedward, if I tarry at home and go not,
240Ile hang you for going.
Poy. You will chops.
Fal. Hal, wilt thou make one?
Prin. Who, I rob? I a Theefe? Not I.
Fal. There's neither honesty, manhood, nor good fel-
245lowship in thee, nor thou cam'st not of the blood-royall,
if thou dar'st not stand for ten shillings.
Prin. Well then, once in my dayes Ile be a mad-cap.
Fal. Why, that's well said.
Prin. Well, come what will, Ile tarry at home.
250Fal. Ile be a Traitor then, when thou art King.
Prin. I care not.
Poyn. Sir Iohn, I prythee leaue the Prince & me alone,
I will lay him downe such reasons for this aduenture, that
he shall go.
255Fal. Well, maist thou haue the Spirit of perswasion;
and he the eares of profiting, that what thou speakest,
may moue; and what he heares may be beleeued, that the
true Prince, may (for recreation sake) proue a false theefe;
for the poore abuses of the time, want countenance. Far-
260well, you shall finde me in Eastcheape.
Prin. Farwell the latter Spring. Farewell Alhollown
Summer.
Poy. Now, my good sweet Hony Lord, ride with vs
to morrow. I haue a iest to execute, that I cannot man-
265nage alone. Falstaffe, Haruey, Rossill, and Gads-hill, shall
robbe those men that wee haue already way-layde, your
selfe and I, wil not be there: and when they haue the boo-
ty, if you and I do not rob them, cut this head from my
shoulders.
270Prin. But how shal we part with them in setting forth?
Poyn. Why, we wil set forth before or after them, and
appoint them a place of meeting, wherin it is at our plea-
sure to faile; and then will they aduenture vppon the ex-
ploit themselues, which they shall haue no sooner atchie-
275ued, but wee'l set vpon them.
Prin. I, but tis like that they will know vs by our
horses, by our habits, and by euery other appointment to
be our selues.
Poy. Tut our horses they shall not see, Ile tye them in
280the wood, our vizards wee will change after wee leaue
them: and sirrah, I haue Cases of Buckram for the nonce,
to immaske our noted outward garments.
Prin. But I doubt they will be too hard for vs.
Poin. Well, for two of them, I know them to bee as
285true bred Cowards as euer turn'd backe: and for the third
if he fight longer then he sees reason, Ile forswear Armes.
The vertue of this Iest will be, the incomprehensible lyes
that this fat Rogue will tell vs, when we meete at Supper:
how thirty at least he fought with, what Wardes, what
290blowes, what extremities he endured; and in the reproofe
of this, lyes the iest.
Prin. Well, Ile goe with thee, prouide vs all things
necessary, and meete me to morrow night in Eastcheape,
there Ile sup. Farewell.
295Poyn. Farewell, my Lord.
Exit Pointz
Prin. I know you all, and will a-while vphold
The vnyoak'd humor of your idlenesse:
Yet heerein will I imitate the Sunne,
Who doth permit the base contagious cloudes
300To smother vp his Beauty from the world,
That when he please againe to be himselfe,
Being wanted, he may be more wondred at,
By breaking through the foule and vgly mists
Of vapours, that did seeme to strangle him.
305If all the yeare were playing holidaies,
To sport, would be as tedious as to worke;
But when they seldome come, they wisht-for come,
And nothing pleaseth but rare accidents.
So when this loose behauiour I throw off,
310And pay the debt I neuer promised;
By how much better then my word I am,
By so much shall I falsifie mens hopes,
And like bright Mettall on a sullen ground:
My reformation glittering o're my fault,
315Shall shew more goodly, and attract more eyes,
Then that which hath no foyle to set it off.
Ile so offend, to make offence a skill,
Redeeming time, when men thinke least I will.